A backyard garden party wedding with yard games & cocktail recipe cards
Photo by Jonas Seaman

We already gave you awesome wedding readings for bad-ass couples, but what if you're less bad-ass and more wonderfully weird?

You could always use these sweet and silly wedding readings from children's books, but here's our collection of funny wedding readings taken from Dr. Seuss, Neil Gaiman, and even Douglas Adams.

Silly they may be, but believe it or not, they're both weird AND wonderful… just like your particular brand of relationship.

Funny wedding readings

“Oh the Places You'll Go,” by Dr. Seuss

Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look'em over with care. About some you will say, “I don't choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town. It's opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You'll Go!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't. Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you'll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you'll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O'Shea, you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Ariel reading at The Redwood Wedding alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)
Ariel the publisher of Offbeat Wed, doing a reading at the wedding of Meggyfin, the site's former editor.

“I Rely on You,” by Hovis Presley

I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter

I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve

I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers

I rely on you.

2935360753 0bdce35d0c c alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein

“Falling in love is like owning a dog,” by Taylor Mali

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Readings 5 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Wedding poems

“Yes, I'll Marry You,” by Pam Ayres

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

Wedding in the round on @offbeatbride
Photos by M. Felt Photography

“Foxtrot From a Play,” by W H Auden

The soldier loves his rifle,
The scholar loves his books,
The farmer loves his horses,
The film star loves her looks.
There's love the whole world over
Wherever you may be;
Some lose their rest for gay Mae West,
But you're my cup of tea.
Some talk of Alexander
And some of Fred Astaire,
Some like their heroes hairy
Some like them debonair,
Some prefer a curate
And some an A.D.C.,
Some like a tough to treat'em rough,
But you're my cup of tea.

Some are mad on Airedales
And some on Pekinese,
On tabby cats or parrots
Or guinea pigs or geese.
There are patients in asylums
Who think that they're a tree;
I had an ant who loved a plant,
But you're my cup of tea.

Some have sagging waistlines
And some a bulbous nose
And some a floating kidney
And some have hammer toes,
Some have tennis elbow
And some have housemaid's knee,
And some I know have got B.O.,
But you're my cup of tea.

The blackbird loves the earthworm,
The adder loves the sun,
The polar bear an iceberg,
The elephant a bun,
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea.

SophieOuma153 2
Photo by Allison Andres

“The Day the Saucers Came,” by Neil Gaiman
That day, the saucers landed. Hundreds of them, golden,
Silent, coming down from the sky like great snowflakes,
And the people of Earth stood and
stared as they descended,
Waiting, dry-mouthed, to find what waited inside for us
And none of us knowing if we would be here tomorrow
But you didn't notice it because

That day, the day the saucers came, by some coincidence,
Was the day that the graves gave up their dead
And the zombies pushed up through soft earth
or erupted, shambling and dull-eyed, unstoppable,
Came towards us, the living, and we screamed and ran,
But you did not notice this because

On the saucer day, which was the zombie day, it was
Ragnarok also, and the television screens showed us
A ship built of dead-men's nails, a serpent, a wolf,
All bigger than the mind could hold,
and the cameraman could
Not get far enough away, and then the Gods came out
But you did not see them coming because

On the saucer-zombie-battling-gods
day the floodgates broke
And each of us was engulfed by genies and sprites
Offering us wishes and wonders and eternities
And charm and cleverness and true
brave hearts and pots of gold
While giants feefofummed across
the land, and killer bees,
But you had no idea of any of this because

That day, the saucer day, the zombie day,
The Ragnarok and fairies day, the
day the great winds came
And snows, and the cities turned to crystal, the day
All plants died, plastics dissolved, the day the
Computers turned, the screens telling
us we would obey, the day
Angels, drunk and muddled, stumbled from the bars,
And all the bells of London were sounded, the day
Animals spoke to us in Assyrian, the Yeti day,
The fluttering capes and arrival of
the Time Machine day,
You didn't notice any of this because
you were sitting in your room, not doing anything
not even reading, not really, just
looking at your telephone,
wondering if I was going to call.

A reading at Heather & Ben's wedding. Photo by One Love Photo
A reading at Heather & Ben's wedding. Photo by One Love Photo

From Douglas Adams' “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish”

There was a sort of gallery structure in the roof space which held a bed and also a bathroom which, Fenchurch explained, you could actually swing a cat in, “But,” she added, “only if it was a reasonably patient cat and didn't mind a few nasty cracks about the head. So. Here you are.”


They looked at each other for a moment.

The moment became a longer moment, and suddenly it was a very long moment, so long one could hardly tell where all the time was coming from.

For Arthur, who could usually contrive to feel self-conscious if left alone long enough with a Swiss cheese plant, the moment was one of sustained revelation. He felt on the sudden like a cramped and zoo-born animal who wakes one morning to find the door of his cage hanging quietly open and the savanna stretching gray and pink to the distant rising sun, while all around new sounds are waking.

He wondered what the new sounds were as he gazed at her openly wondering face and her eyes that smiled with a shared surprise.

He hadn't realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was,


“All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” by Robert Fulgham

All of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

These are the things I learned…
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Give them to someone who feels sad.
Live a balanced life.
Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day.
Take a nap every afternoon.
Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

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Comments on Funny wedding readings to make you laugh AND cry

    • That’s a great choice. 😀

      Especially for this part:
      “and okay,
      I’d probably travel to the time
      when we were a young couple
      and try to get a three-way
      going. I never understood
      why more time travelers don’t do
      that sort of thing.”

    • OMG I love this one. It sounds so much like my honey. We want to do out own vows but both don’t really want to write them. I sent this to him as an idea to read as his vows.

    • Oooooh, that’s a good one! Wish I had found it on my search. Thinking about adding it to the article just because it’s THAT rad.

    • That is wonderful…the bit about the zombies makes me smile since we spend a lot of time playing zombie video games together, haha 😀

    • MIA thank you so much for the science romance link, its just what i’ve been looking for!

  1. Oh man, that H2G2 one! Definitely using that, I can totally see my brother reading it!

  2. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou been looking for a reading from hitch hikers for ages 🙂

  3. We’re doing the Taylor Mali poem for ours. We split it up between two readers; one person has the Mali poem, the other a collection of assorted quotes on the subject of love. Of course, that includes the Hitchhiker’s Guide’s advice. Also squeezing in “A Lovely Love Story” which gets a lot of traffic around here.

  4. I ADORE the Pam Ayres one. It’d be particularly perfect because the man I plan on proposing to is delightfully English.

  5. These are all fabulous! And I think I’ve finally found one of our readings for our wedding in the Taylor Mali poem. So adorable, so true…and, as we’re huge dog lovers, so perfect for my DF and I. 🙂 Once again, a huge THANK YOU to OBB! <3

  6. Love! And I’m trying to work out a way to modify the Taylor Mali one to work for owning cats… haha We have a dog too but the boy prefers the cats.

    • Let me know if you figure this one out… FH and I love that reading, but we’re definitely cat people.

    • I considered this too (I love the reading, but don’t own a dog). Unfortunately, my conclusion was that’s Falling in Love is not like owning a cat at all. XD Let me know if you work it out!

  7. We’re using the Pam Ayres one!

    I didn’t realise until after we’d picked it but she actually wrote a lot of poems I liked as a kid. For some reason it never occured to me that people who wrote silly poems about everyday life might have written something about weddings too.

  8. I love Robert Fulgham. My mum used to read his books to me when I was a kid. ^_^

  9. I love the “you’re my cup of tea” one and may use as part of a toast at my wedding reception, which will be a “High Tea” theme in a castle. I think that poem is charming!

  10. Squeee! Props for including the Douglas Adams! I pulled that segment as the one to be on the back of my programs the second I went over “word related wedding things.”

  11. We did a portion of the script of the film Stardust (also by Gaiman) for ours – where Yvaine is talking about love:

    Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

    • I think I may need to steal this idea because all of the significant music for my whole wedding is film based 🙂

  12. I remember the original thread (I got married in 2009) and got my two readings from it.

    Thanks for restarting one – it’s brought back loads of happy memories of the planning of my wedding.

  13. My traditional southern pastor wasn’t keen on the idea of using Dr. Suess as a reading, but we definitely used Oh The Places You’ll Go as our guest book 🙂

  14. When I first met my boy I thought of that part of “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish”. I was so excited to use it in our wedding. Some people were confused by it, but that was okay as everyone could tell how much it meant to us.

  15. Inspired by an older post from OBB, we used Just The Two Of Us (song) by the Mr T Experience, as we were looking for something nice and fun but not soppy. We had a friend read it, but we already knew it pretty well from scrutinising our options while putting together our ceremony. We were particularly fond of the reference to our “giant double brain” and quoted it to each other before the wedding.

    When it came to the reading during the actual ceremony, I started getting excited when that line was about to come up. My other half grinned at me and I could tell he was too 🙂

    • This is the most original idea I’ve heard in yonks and will very likely be using it! THANKYOU !!

  16. I found this today and wanted to add it to the pool of awesome that is found on this site.

    How To Tell If Somebody Loves You
    Jul. 5, 2011

    By Ryan O’Connell info

    Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!

    Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.

    Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.

    Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.

    Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.

    Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.

    Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.

    • This is gorgeous! Do you know of a way to contact the author? I’d love to use that, but it might have to be polished up a little bit for use at our wedding and I’d want to get the author’s permission if possible.

  17. I cried the first time I read that passage about Fenchurch and Arthur and I started crying again when I saw it here, just now! I know it’s science fiction, but it’s one of the truest and most poignant descriptions of meeting the right person – maybe especially as a lonely nerd – that I’ve ever read. I wish my partner (a serious D.A. fan) and I had thought of using that in our wedding. Hey, now we have something for our next big anniversary.

  18. I love this from The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson:

    “I once knew a woman who liked to imagine Love in the guise of a sturdy dog, one that would always chase down the stick after it was thrown and return with his ears flopping around happily. Completely loyal, completely unconditional. And I laughed at her, because even I knew that love is not like that. Love is a delicate thing that needs to be cosseted and protected. Love is not robust and love is not unyeilding. Love can crumble under a few harsh words, or be tossed away with a handful of careless actions. Love isn’t a steadfast dog at all; love is more like a pygmy mouse lemur. Yes, that’s exactly what love is: a tiny, jittery primate with eyes that are permanently peeled open in fear. For those of you who cannot quite picture a pygmy mouse lemur, imagine a miniature Don Knotts or Steve Buscemi wearing a fur coat.”

    • OMG I’m so keeping that! We’re involved with Pit Bull rescue (perfect description of one in the first part of the quote) and the second… well, who doesn’t laugh at Don Knotts, let alone a mini one?

  19. Does anyone know of any poems or stories about cameras that could be related back to love? I’m a photographer and really want to tie something about cameras into our readings!

  20. This is amazing. I am totally making our pastor read “Saucer day” by neil gaiman.

  21. We modified “Yes, I’ll Marry You” for a reading at our wedding and actually incorporated it into our theme as well!!! I was very excited to see it in your article!

  22. Hi i found this one by Bob Dylan on a site

    Bob Dylan – ‘Wedding Song’

    Ever since you walked right in, the circle’s been complete
    I’ve said goodbye to haunted rooms and faces in the street
    To the courtyard of the jester which is hidden from the sun
    I love you more than ever and I haven’t yet begun

    You breathed on me and made my life a richer one to live
    When I was deep in poverty you taught me how to give
    Dried the tears up from my dreams and pulled me from the hole
    Quenched my thirst and satisfied the burning in my soul

    I love you more than ever, more than time and more than love
    I love you more than money and more than the stars above
    Love you more than madness, more than waves upon the sea
    Love you more than life itself, you mean that much to me


    I think i will use it or a variation.

    I also love “Oh the Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss. But every one uses it..


  23. I’m thinking of printing them all and leaving them lying around the venue for people to pick up and read ~ they are all great 😀

  24. I think Kat’s poem from 10 Things I Hate About You would be awesome at a wedding:

    I hate the way you talk to me,
    And the way you cut your hair.
    I hate the way you drive my car,
    I hate it when you stare.
    I hate your big dumb combat boots
    And the way you read my mind.
    I hate you so much it makes me sick,
    It even makes me rhyme.
    I hate the way you’re always right,
    I hate it when you lie.
    I hate it when you make me laugh,
    Even worse when you make me cry.
    I hate it when you’re not around,
    And the fact that you didn’t call.
    But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
    Not even close…
    Not even a little bit…
    Not even at all.

      • Fun movie fact: Julia Stiles wasn’t meant to cry in that scene; she just spontaneously started weeping as she read it, and they liked what it did for the character so much they kept that single take. 🙂

  25. This is my favorite:

    “I Like You” by Sandol Staddard Warburg

    I like you and I know why.
    I like you because you are a good person to like.
    I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special
    And you remember it a long, long time.
    You say, Remember when you told me something special
    And both of us remember

    When I think something is important
    you think it’s important too
    We have good ideas
    When I say something funny, you laugh
    I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too
    I like you because you know where I’m ticklish
    And you don’t tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
    But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too
    You know how to be silly
    That’s why I like you
    Boy are you ever silly
    I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
    I like you because you know when it’s time to stop being silly
    Maybe day after tomorrow
    Maybe never
    Too late, it’s a quarter past silly
    Sometimes we don’t say a word
    We snurkle under fences
    We spy secret places
    If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off
    You are one too
    If I pretend I am drowning, you pretend you are saving me
    If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
    then you are getting ready to jump
    That’s because you really like me
    You really like me, don’t you
    And I really like you back
    And you like me back and I like you back
    And that’s the way we keep on going every day

    If you go away, then I go away too
    or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
    You don’t just say Well see you around sometime, bye
    I like you a lot because of that
    If I go away, I send you a postcard too
    And I like you because if we go away together
    And if we are in Grand Central Station
    And if I get lost
    Then you are the one that is yelling for me

    And I like you because when I am feeling sad
    You don’t always cheer me up right away
    Sometimes it is better to be sad
    You can’t stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
    You want to think about things
    It takes time

    I like you because if I am mad at you
    Then you are mad at me too
    It’s awful when the other person isn’t
    They are so nice and hoo-hoo you could just about punch them in the nose

    I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
    then you are really sorry
    You don’t just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
    You say, maybe it was something you ate
    You say, the same thing happened to me one time
    And the same thing did

    If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
    If I find four, I give you two
    If we only find three, we keep on looking
    Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don’t

    If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
    Then it’s fun to have a broken arm
    I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
    We are both sorry
    We write our names and draw pictures
    We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too

    I like you because I don’t know why but
    Everything that happens is nicer with you
    I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
    It must have been lonesome then

    I like you because because because
    I forget why I like you but I do
    So many reasons
    On the 4th of July I like you because it’s the 4th of July
    On the fifth of July, I like you too
    If you and I had some drums and some horns and some horses
    If we had some hats and some flags and some fire engines
    We could be a HOLIDAY
    We could be a CELEBRATION
    We could be a WHOLE PARADE
    See what I mean?

    Even if it was the 999th of July
    Even if it was August
    Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
    Even if it was no place particular in January
    I would go on choosing you
    And you would go on choosing me
    Over and over again
    That’s how it would happen every time
    I don’t know why
    I guess I don’t know why I really like you
    Why do I like you
    I guess I just like you
    I guess I just like you because I like you.

    Its my favorite so far… but the scientific romance is a close second.

  26. An Excerpt from “The Game” by B.J. Falken


    It appeared to outsiders that they were at odds. He would test her patience and try to charm his way out of it. She would try impose her will through loosely crafted arguments based on creative feminine logic. He would put on magnificent displays of rhetoric and manipulation, because he liked it when she caught him trying to get away with something. She liked it too.

    Over time though, it became obvious that this was not a fight, or a contest. It was a game. Two sides, back and forth. Advance and defend. A game that was almost as much fun to watch, as it was to play.

    In this game, however, keeping score was never necessary. It was like children playing tic-tac-toe. The minute one round was over, they’d scrawl out another cross-hatched board, barely paying attention who had been victorious only seconds earlier. Even if they had kept score, it would have still been tied after a hundred years of play. Sometimes he’d win, sometimes she would. And sometimes, when it was needed, they’d remind the spectators that they were actually on the same team all along and would do anything for each other.

    Before each other, they hadn’t discovered anybody who could play the game at their level, nor anybody who wished to. But they found each other… and in each other a worthy adversary, a constant companion, and a best friend.

    And they played the game for years and years, until one of them died. The person left standing being defeated by the heart’s greatest loss… and yet, still victorious because everyday they had spent together, the game brought into their hearts the greatest joy and love. Again, it was a tie.

  27. Unfortunately, many readings I find are Anglo-centric. How about the rest of the world? This is one of the best wedding readings that I have ever heard by the Japanese poet Ryunosuke Satoro.  

    Title:  “Where Art I Bound?”

    He says to the Journeyman,
           “Where art I bound?”

    “Lift your leaden feet and walk
        where your heart directs you,”
        replies the Journeyman, “and
        your gait will become light
        and your heart more assured.”

    “But wait Journeyman, now I 
        must act for two and no 
        longer just one.  What shall I do?”

    To which the Journeyman 
        replies, “If you truly love,
        give away your heart to make half
        of a greater whole, and follow It
        for the rest of your days.”

    • Love this! Am really struggling to find any more of his work, other than quotes. Do you know here i could find more of his work?

      • I love this also. Laugra, how did you go finding more of his work? I’m struggling to find this one in Japanese for my bilingual wedding. Any hints would be appreciated! Chhers

  28. Ooooo I love the Douglas Adams reading!!! But my FH is much less into it than I am. Does anyone have any good Harry Potter readings?

  29. Great website you have here, I was just trying to find one of our readings and stumbled across your site.

    Really love it, found one which was the Apache Blessing but need to search further for the other one.

    I think it was entitled “Will you marry me” although the thought seems quite nice etc etc


    • Just for clarity’s sake, the “Apache Blessing” is not an authentic Apache blessing; it first appeared in a movie. Not that it makes the blessing any less beautiful, but I feel kinda bound to spread the word on that.

  30. I love th idea of reading the passage from the jerk as referenced in the first picture. It would crack everyone up and break any tension but I’m not sure how to introduce it so it makes sense in a wedding. Does anyone know about where the original wedding that used it is? Thoughts?

  31. We modified “Islands in the Stream” for our beach wedding and had my boys little sister read it. At the end, everyone chimed in on the last “uh-huh”!!

  32. We had a mad lib at our wedding. =) All of the people who couldn’t come were able to contribute to the mad lib, as well as our guests. It was a great way to include everybody.

  33. Oh dear, I guess I will be the sap to share that I will feature Alanis’ “Head Over Feet” at my wedding.

    “Head Over Feet”

    I had no choice but to hear you
    You stated your case time and again
    I thought about it

    You treat me like I’m a princess
    I’m not used to liking that
    You ask how my day was

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

    Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
    You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
    That’s not lip service

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

    You are the bearer of unconditional things
    You held your breath and the door for me
    Thanks for your patience

    You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
    You’re my best friend
    Best friend with benefits
    What took me so long

    I’ve never felt this healthy before
    I’ve never wanted something rational
    I am aware now
    I am aware now

    You’ve already won me over in spite of me
    And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
    Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
    I couldn’t help it
    It’s all your fault

  34. I really like e. e. cummings “i carry your heart” for a reading or to incorporate into vows. Cummings wasn’t really my cup of tea until I read this and fell in love with it.

  35. Readings are such a great way to add to the feel or theme of the wedding! We had a saying read about running a race together since we had a running theme wedding.

    • Hi Cassie, would you be able to let me know what your reading was about running a race together? Thanks

  36. I really like the Taylor Mali one. I sent it along to my brother for his consideration when choosing his reading at my wedding. And I might read the Pam Ayres one during the reception speeches for the laughs. It’s adorable.

  37. A long time ago I read a short story by Kurt Vonnegut on marriage. It talked about how a successful marriage isn’t between just two people; that each person needs 100 people to make them feel fulfilled.
    Anyways, I can’t paraphrase as well as Vonnegut can write. It’s a very beautiful piece about the power of community and I’ve been looking for it everywhere to read at my wedding. Anyone know wtf I’m talking about and know where to find it?!

  38. Definitely having The Lovely Dinosaur but also I’m looking for something short and cute that my 6yo niece can read at our wedding, any suggestions?

  39. Oh my goodness, the poetry is awesome. I love the one “I Like You” by Sandol Staddard Warburg the best! Thank you for sharing so many good poetry with us!

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