Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend

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Last week's Why you should propose to your boyfriend post was a big hit, so I'm continuing on with Part 2: HOW to propose to your boyfriend.

polls 050412 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)
Of course there are as many ways to propose to your boyfriend as there are people reading this website, but when considering proposing, here are a few things to consider:

  1. Have lots of conversations with him about marriage and commitment, so that you know you're on the same page. Do you share ideas and values? Do you share a common outlook? Do you both want to do this?
  2. If you're not sure he'd feel comfortable being proposed to, find a casual way to find out. Share a story about another woman who proposed (I've got one coming up for you!) to see how he responds.
  3. If you want to really twist the tradition on its ear, consider asking his mother for his hand in marriage! This list of how to ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage is actually pretty helpful, and has the bonus of being slightly amusing when you flip the genders: “Promise [her] that you'll take care of [her son] for the rest of [his] life.”
  4. Pick a symbolic gift, if you want one. It totally doesn't have to be a ring (who remembers the “engagement lighter” mentioned in my book?)
  5. Start scheming! The web is FILLED with proposal ideas, but I'm guessing crafting one unique to your relationship would be way more special than any over-engineered feat of romance.

Want a great story to use as an example? Keep hear how one OBT member proposed to her boyfriend…

How I proposed to my fella

by OBT member Helen Waters
So, while I suppose the truly offbeat thing is to propose on any old day of the year, I decided to propose to my fella on Leap Year day of 2008.

We'd long since gone from “if we get married” to “when we get married”, but there was no real sign of us making it any more official… So I took things into my own hands.

I bought us flights from the UK to Krakow and put us up in a posh hotel, and asked if they could deliver some champagne to the room.

The champagne duly arrived, and Dom got a bit exasperated: “We haven't ordered this, are you gonna charge us? We're not paying a premium for this overpriced muck!” etc, but eventually I convinced him to drink some (!) and gave him this…
eng1 050412 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

eng2 050412 2 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Which he had a good look at, then in the middle there was a small box which contained a small tube of lovehearts (bit corny I know, but there was a good reason behind it going back to the start of our relationship, but that's even more vomit inducing so I won't bore you…) each of which said “marry me” on them.

He pulled one out, looked at it, said “aww,” then ate it. Without saying anything else!

…To be honest I wasn't sure what to do then, so I kind of spluttered, “No, I'm really asking you!” (and resisted saying “you moron, I didn't bring you all the way out to Poland to give you a sweetie”). At that point to my relief he said YES YES YES (or words to that effect).

I hadn't bought a ring, but I had come prepared…
eng3 05041203 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)
With engagement STRING of course!

Anyways, we went on to have a wonderful time in Krakow, which is a beautiful city, I recommend a visit. There were happy faces all round. We were married in August of 2008:

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Comments on Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend

  1. I proposed to my fiance. We had been talking about marriage for months, and then one day last June while we were camping in the middle of a thunderstorm I decided that if he was willing to come camp with me and walk around in the rain when he hates camping and the outdoors (he has a lot of allergies), because he knows I love camping, then he must really really love me. And once I knew that, I knew I was ready to marry him. He was already sleeping next to me in the tent, so I didn’t tell him this at the time.

    Two days later I called him on the phone so he could pick me up from work, and while on the phone (like 5 minutes before I was going to see him in real life), in the middle of crossing a street, I was all “Lets get married for reals!” Yes, I actually said “for reals” while proposing. 🙂 And he said yes. About a week after that we set the date and started telling people about it. We’re getting married on May 17th 2009.

    So that’s my super romantic story. I proposed to him over the phone in the middle of crossing the street. 🙂

  2. Aw, both these stories are super-cute! My fiance and I are incredibly lame – we just talked about it all the time and finally just picked a general date for our wedding(Oct. 2010). That’s it – no proposal, no rings. It’s like a postmodern engagement. Or something. Anyway. Good luck to all the ladies who are considering proposing!

    • This is basically how it went for us. We talked about it a lot, decided that yes, we are both committed to getting married. We decided on a general timetable (a while from now – we’re both still in school), worked things out in our mind, and announced it to the world. I don’t think there needs to be a huge scene in the decision to get married. I’m more concerned that we love each other and are committed to spending the rest of our lives together, which is, of course, what really matters. Besides, it does take the gender inequality out of it – mutual decisions for the win!

  3. That dress! I have mentioned this in some forum on the Tribe but I LOVE that dress!

  4. We live in a deeply sexist (+ homophobic) culture, and it takes real courage to break the mold… Yeah for Brides proposing!

    To add a queer perspective, my community sees me as femme and many were confused that I proposed to Laurie…ugh! Whoever you are, forget the passed-down cultural conversations and deep-rooted gender roles. Be yourself. Marriage is a unique expression of yourself…If you know what you want, go after it! Male or female, proposing will take courage – and it’s very fun!

    My proposal: I proposed to Laurie on our 3-year anniversary at the soccer tournament where we first met…I gathered up a team (I don’t actually play soccer – when we met, I was a spectator :-), a theme (Chicks Ahoy!), some practices (did I mention that I love her a lot), and 8 months of secret planning with the festival organizers.

    During the Opening Ceremonies couples that met at the festival were asked to come forward & tell the hundreds of players and spectators how many years ago they met. We went last…It was a surprise to everyone – even our teammates!

  5. I think Helen wins the prize for the CUTEST bride of 2008. She’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. She and her now hubby are sweet. 🙂

  6. My fiance (I LOVE saying this!) and I had just had one of those long conversations (on of many) about our relationship and our future where you look at the clock and say how can it possibly by 1 am, we have been talking for 4 hours about this. And then I got to work and read your first post about proposing to your girlfriend. I was inspired by all the comments, and thinking of making her breakfast in bed this weekend, and asking her to marry me. But by the time I came home, I just couldn’t wait, and said so “Are we engaged yet?” She asked if I wanted to be, and then we both asked each other and both said yes. It was such an ordinary moment at home, and yet totally thrilling, and completely us. We went around the corner to our local bar/store and bought champagne. We started announcing our engagement to friends and family later that night. I was blown away by how different it felt once we the congratulations started pouring in from people who have known and loved us these past 3 (almost 4) years. We have been nothing but mushy since. Neither of us thought we could feel any more deeply in love with each other, but somehow we do! So, to other girls out there, just do what feels right and enjoy it…with or without a ring or a big surprise!

  7. Wow, how did you make that box thing? Where can I find that?

    Kudos for you both!

  8. I didn’t propose to my honey, I will admit.. BUT I did ask him out first for the first date.. so that’s got to count for something! 😛

    BTW, cute article, love the little box thing!

  9. Thanks for the nice comments guys! I did make the box from instructions here It was pretty fiddly and took HOURS (especially as I was having to hide the evidence so Dom didn’t get suspicious… although I obviously shouldn’t have worried about him catching on based on his initial reaction to the proposal…!)

    Congrats to all you other ladies who have taken the initiative and proposed to their partners. And special congrats to my friends Emma and Paul who got engaged at New Year when she asked him 🙂 xxx

  10. The more I thought about I realized that I sort of proposed to my fiance. We had been talking about getting married for a long time and we kind of knew we wanted to get married in October of this year.

    I had the week around Halloween off from work two years ago and I was cruising around the computer when I decided to see what day Halloween fell on in 2009. When I saw that it was a Saturday, I immediately called Tom and said “Let’s get married on Halloween!” He said “HELL YES!!!” Not real romantic. He was at work and I was sitting at home in my pajamas.

    February 15th we went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants “The Dead Fish” (yeah, that really is the name) and he pulled out a ring and asked me. He felt he needed to do it to make it official even though we had already announced it to everyone. He’s so cute in his surprisingly traditional ways.

  11. Love the box with all the memories in it.

    My proposal was a little more subdued. I had planned on going to the Botanical gardens, which is where our first date was, but I got too impatient and the rings were burning a hole in my pocket! So while we were in bed watching TV I turned and gave him the short spiel of why he’s the one for me and presented the vampire teeth rings. It was perfect because we just got to cuddle and be gross without worrying about people afterward 🙂

  12. I proposed to my boyfriend, but it wasn’t exactly planned… We’d had lots of discussion about how we would spend the rest of our lives together, but we’d also had lots of conversations about my reservations towards marriage, as a feminist and someone who is bi and has always been heavily involved with queer rights. He always used to say to me, ‘I would ask you to marry me if I thought you might say yes’, which is almost a proposal I guess.

    Anyway we were out clubbing with friends one night, both pretty wasted, and I realised something that I immediately shared with him – ‘I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you and you know you do, but what about everyone else? Why don’t we get married?’ He looked thrilled and said yes, and then I realised I’d done it wrong so I made him sit down so I could get down on one knee and ask again properly. And then we went and found our friends and told them all.

    • Thank you Louise so much. I've been pondering about this for a while, even more so since we were talking about it and he flipantly came out with, "you've never asked me(!)" You just hit the nail on the head perfectly.

      We both know that we want to share the rest of our lives together but I really want the rest of the world to know that too.

  13. My boyfriend and I are one of those corny couples who just knew we’d be together forever even before we were “officially” dating. He’s been planning his proposal to me for a long time now, but obviously won’t tell me one single detail. If I popped the question to him, he’d be pissed! All that planning for nothing! 😉 Love the idea, though, and all the stories!

    • Ruth, I am in the same boat entirely. I've been told I'm not allowed to propose to him because he is way too into planning it. It's true, he's very romantic and loves all the corny over the top stuff (so do i), but I'm getting impatient 🙂

  14. Thank you for this post! I proposed to my boyfriend this past August. We had been together 6 years, and I had always kinda been against marriage. Then I realized that it was more the wedding than the marriage part that I didn’t like, and I was interested in all of the legal benefits that marriage brings. And the CA supreme court had just started allowing gay marriage (that was before the horrible Prop 8), which made me feel more comfortable about the institution as a whole. We are both avid hikers, so I proposed at the top of Mt. Whitney–the highest point in the continental US. I lugged champagne up there to celebrate and had a friend take pictures. No rings. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  15. I never comment on here, but I will say that in a really embarrassing situation, I did ask my husband first! I have to say it’s really true that you just “know” and with him I knew right away. Not long after we met he took me to a huge party with all his friends, who all despised his ex, so I was very nervous about making a good impression. So I drank a lot of sangria to loosen up. Big mistake. (Despite taking up residence in the guest bathroom for the evening, I managed to make a good impression.)

    Somewhere in the hours that my then-boyfriend hung out with me, even literally holding back my hair, in the bathroom, I realized that only someone really special would put up with this. So I said, “Will you marry me?” and his response was, “Yes. But not yet.”

    We got married a year and a half later. ; )

  16. I started reading this site today…. now i ponder… do I propose to him hmmmmmmmmmmmm though i’m like alll me thinks he’s surprising me this weekend… but i called him on his oh I have army stuff v-day weekend but he really had it last weekend. He ignored the comment though. WTF. gerrrrrrr he knows i hate surprises.

    I always said I’d propose.. but we still have a religion issue to work out :/

  17. LOL – I totally proposed; we were talking about it one night, and I went off on a rant about how rings were arbitrary and who came up with rings symbolising engagement, anyway? Off the top of my head, I said something about, “Why not an engagement spoon? That would be awesome!” Long story short, a little while later I realized that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, went to Birks and bought a sterling silver spoon engraved with the word “Mine” (a long-running in-joke) and our initials. He was thrilled and we’re getting married on July 10, 2010!

  18. i started to propose to the boy last week… by drawing a sharpied ring around his finger while he was sleepysnuggled around me (which is unusual in and of itself… he’s usually the little spoon) but i chickened out on the followthrough. i just told him i marked him as mine when he noticed. he was pretty proud to announce the sharpie ring to our friends later. we’ve only been together a year, and while everything’s more incredibly warm and fuzzy than we could imagine, i think he needs a bit more time…it took him a couple months longer to say i love you and then a few more to say it all the time. on the flip side, he’s just travelled through amsterdam on the way to france and the space cake reorganized his brain a bit and he’s feeling more than a bit sentimental – he’s talking about coming back early for me. he’ll be back in two weeks… im hoping to make things happen soonish though. thoughts?

  19. In my estimation, it’s not the length of time you’ve been together that matters when it comes to realizing that this person is IT. If you’ve got the warm fuzzies and it’s mutual, go for it! When it’s right, it’s completely right … my fiancee and I have known each other for years, but have only been dating for 5 months and engaged for one of those. We both just knew that this was a lifelong kind of thing. Cheers!

  20. My fiance and I had been together just over 4 years when we decided to get engaged…although we have lived together the entire time and have an almost-3-year-old son together.

    He was married before and apprehensive about getting remarried because of how horrible his ex is, but we finally jumped into the offical engagement deal about a month ago. I guess in a way, I proposed to him, and in a way, he proposed to me. It certainly wasn’t superbly romantic or over-the-top, but just coming to the conclusion together that we *really* wanted to get married was one of the most heart-fluttering experiences of my life. We went to a pawn shop together with our 33 month old son and picked out a ring together. It was fun and boring, all at the same time!
    We’re gonna get married at the end of August or on the first Sunday in September (waiting to confirm a date with our venues). Yay!
    I think it’s great for a chick to propose to her fella…I thought about doing that a few times with my FH, but it just never seemed right for either of us. We’ve been making decisions together for 4 years now, so this was just another thing (a big thing, though!) that we decided on together. 🙂

  21. Alrighty, I’m going to do it! My BF and I have been talking about it, and we’re going to his hometown, where we met, to have his grandmother’s ring made into mine/ours/?. We decided that we’d let people know at that point, and have already started planning. I came up through several conversations, so we decided together, but I know we’re going to get questions about how it happened, so I’m going to make it “happen.”

    He’s got a show in DC next Friday, and one of the other bands that he’s playing with has mutual friends who were playing in another band the night we hooked up. I also wish that I hadn’t bought him a new snare drum for birthday and Christmas, as that would make a nice ring, but an engagement skateboard is totally going to have to make up for it! I am so excited!

  22. By the way, I have always asked my dates to proms, etc. This is WAY more exciting!

  23. I'd only had a few dreams about wedding related things. I wanted my dad to give me away, I wanted to wait to move in with my man until after we were married, and I wanted the grand romantic proposal.

    Well my dad passed away last August, and because my roommate decided to buy a house (and gave me 45 days notice) I had to move in with my man. So I decided, hell with it. I love him, I know what I want. We have conversations about the future involving us and kids and all that… about how well we fit together.

    This past weekend he had a disc golf tournament, his first one. He got 6th place, which he was incredibly stoked about. So I went out and I got a disc that he'd been lusting after. On the underside, where he normally writes his name and phone number, I wrote his name, and my question – "will you marry me?" I took all his discs outside and we were practicing putting. I had gone out to retrieve the disc and handed it to him while he was standing up on the deck… it took him a while to process, once he got over the excitement of the disc and turned it over and read it. But he walked down the stairs, put his head on my forhead, and said yes, of course I'll marry you.

    I had been so worried about him not wanting to tell anyone about it – he works construction and he has a bit of a brutish boss. But he didn't care. He thought it was awesome that I did it, that I planned it perfectly. He said, "I don't know if I can find you a ring more perfect than this."

  24. Someone I know proposed in a fancy dress larp! It was very romantic, the genre was pirates of the Caribbean and when we stopped playing, right there, on the beach, we saw a man kneeling down and picking a ring out of his pocket. There were plenty of hats thrown in the air and "Yarrrr"s! 😀

  25. I just proposed to my boyfriend of 3.5 years (now fiance), and it was very successful.

    Frank's dad (who is also named Frank) has the single largest collection of antique snap cufflinks in the US. They're really quite pretty, and one day my Frank will inherit them (which he's very excited about).

    I don't really give a hoot about most wedding traditions, and I've been ready to get this show on the road for about a year now. I decided that, rather than continue to wait for him to make the grand gesture, I would take matters into my own hands and do the asking. He doesn't own any rings, so I had no idea what his ring size would be or how I could find that out without tipping him off, so I decided to propose with cufflinks.

    I scoured the internet and eventually found a beautiful pair of snap cufflinks for sale from an antique shop in the middle of Pennsylvania. As a happy coincidence, we had a vacation to Iceland planned. As I was planning out the trip, I selected a location: the Godafoss waterfall. The waterfall was so named because a tribal leader, in seeking to unify the country, made the decision to throw the effigies of the tribe's pagan gods over the waterfall. I liked the story, and the pictures of the waterfall I found online were pretty, so I figured that would be a good spot. And it was.

    We were hungover and sleep deprived, thanks to my brother and his girlfriend and their hard-partying influences, but it didn't ruin the moment one smidge. Frank was at the edge of a cliff, taking pictures of the waterfall, and he turned to hop on some rocks and try to get closer when I called for him to stop and said I wanted to ask him something. He came back, mildly annoyed, and I whipped out the box with the cufflinks and asked him if he'd marry me. He was speechless for a few seconds as he looked at the box, and then he said, "Of course I'll marry you!"

    And then we made out.

  26. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years on January 1. We’re technically already engaged, but both of us know he was just fooling around when he did it the first time. [Just imagine; a 25 cent ring outside of a movie theater] I’m not really into all the money-absorbing rings and dinners and stuff, but I just wanted something a little more special. He’s been telling me he has a really great plan and a real ring and stuff… but I’m not sure when he’s going to actually do it!
    So I’m taking matters into my own hands.
    His best friend is a welder, so I’m having him make a ring for him. I’m thinking of getting some personalized M&Ms that say ‘Will you marry me?’ on them, but they’re awfully expensive. I’m kind of running out of ideas… any help?

  27. Miss India? Maybe you can buy the mini M&Ms and SPELL OUT the proposal on the table or somewhere… (Just a thought..)

    I hope this helps!

    Ok. Here’s my story.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years (going on 5 in April, he’s my child-hood sweetheart actually) and I want to propose to him on his mother’s birthday! I was thinking that maybe to have his entire family there. I’m not sure yet. I was thinking about designing a DS game (I use my game design skills for hobby-purposes) and create an authentic video game case with cover and place the ring into it (He’s a video game fan)

    When he opens it, the ring will be in there! What do you guys think?


  28. I want to propose to my sweetie. We passed the 1 year mark in September and are living together (and VERY happy). I already know that he's cool with the idea of a women proposing… in the early stages of our relationship before I was thinking about marriage in any concrete way we were driving in my car and I had a P!NK cd playing. He asked who it was and in my usual fashion of over-explanation I go on and on about why I think P!NK is awesome including the tale of how she proposed to her husband via sharpie on posterboard while he was in a race. He said he thought the idea of women proposing was awesome. I filed that comment away for future reference.

    Well now it's the future and we've long since had the "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" conversation. I feel I should wait until he finishes his PhD (the countdown is on! He defends in February!) but then I doubt I'll be able to contain myself any longer!

    There is part of me that hopes he'll beat me to the punch if only to complete the fairy tale of being chosen by the handsome prince, but I will definitely not be disappointed if I ask him. I asked him out on our first date after all!

    Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, the ideas are very helpful!

    I'll let you all know how it turns out =D

    • This feels very familiar, my boyfriend is finishing his master’s but still, I want him to beat me in the punch. He is a little superstitious, so I worry that if I do this he will feel like he didn’t do it right the first time haha. Its OK, we shall see after I finish my degree and he finishes his in a year and a half.

  29. hi~ i went ecstatic when i bumped into this site! <3 my boyfriend has been giving me hints about us tying the knot. 2 days ago, he sent me a text message asking when am i going to propose to him. that wasn't the first time he brought that up and i was pretty skeptical whether to pay heed or jut shrug it off (he cracks jokes a lot ). i answered back that i'ma ask him once he's mentally, physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually ready. . .

  30. oh! the thought of it is euphoric! he said he'll propose back and he'll make sure that his proposal will be more grandeur than mine. oh! my mind's filled with various plans already i can't wait to put them in action. wish me luck! by the way, we've been together for 2 months, turning 3 this saturday and i totally agree with KENDOCHICK, " it's not the length of time you've been together that matters when it comes to realizing that this person is IT. If you've got the warm fuzzies and it's mutual, go for it! When it's right, it's completely right …" this site is an absolute big help in encouraging modern chicks like me 🙂

  31. well, he's been asking me that for a couple of times already. then, that same day, when we were at his apartment lying in bed, out of the blue, he said, " so, you're going to ask me to marry you huh?". his eyes were sparkling when he said that, giving me the impression that he's anticipating it. i fired back with " aren't you going to give me the chance to experience the traditional way of proposing" kind of stare. i was surprised when he replied "well, do you want to be traditional?! don't you want to be unique?" hahaha! that's when i realized that he really wants me to do it. and he's been bugging me bout it since that day. yesterday, he brought that up again and he gave me the idea that he wants me to sweep him off his feet with my proposal. he loves giving surprises ( the ones that will make you gasp for breath because it's totally astonishing!) and i think he's trying to imply that it's about time that i return the favor which i don't mind at all. . .

  32. wahahhhhAAHHHWaahah

    This website I am TORTURING myself!!!! whine. Ok heres the DEAL. I am 32 Vegetarian cat rescue goddess and I found my cat rescue veggie God and things are just well smashing… and I want to get married with this man that I adore yes yes yes but the whole idea of a wedding well the KNOT all that CRAP basically it makes me want to vomit… then he told me he didnt believe in marriage boo I was so kinda sad about it you know… not about the ceremony but the whole commitment thing I guess the whole what if you get into a terrible car wreck at 2 am and they wont let me in to see you and I come running in in my house coat screaming but im “the cohabitating girlfriend!!!”
    so….and so…

    i find this blog and its been sweet sweet torture I cant look away cause sniffly sniff Im finding weddings that I would actually want to have… and now its almost unbearable… why am i making myself crazy.

  33. I proposed to my boyfriend even though I KNEW he didn’t care about weddings and all that fun stuff. I planned this almost 6 months ahead of time; trying to be secretive (Didn’t work; he figured me out almost instantly) and on december 11th of 2009, I proposed to him in front of all his friends; I sang ”our” song, and then told him every single stupid thing I liked about him and I didn’t even get to say Will you… he had already said yes and everyone in the room (especially his guy friends) were crying.

    Probably the happiest day of my life up to now 🙂 I’m glad I did it, and he’s glad I did it too 🙂

  34. I absolutely love this idea and I’m so glad there is a forum to share stories! My boyfriend and I are going on vacation with his immediate family in a few weeks. I think he might propose then, but if not, I’m going for it. I’m all for equality in the relationship and I have the feminist manifesto posted in our entryway, so I doubt he would be terribly surprised. I’ve even joked about it because my mother proposed to my father, I asked him out first, and two weeks ago his best friend told me if I like it, I should put a ring on it. So who knows! Here is one question: if I propose and get him a ring, is it weird to get one for myself too? I’d rather pull out two rings and put them on each other, instead of having it be a one way deal. Any thoughts, anyone?

    PS- Did I mention I love this website?? I didn’t even want a wedding, but now I realize I just have to make it completely “us” and not be bothered with other people’s expectations of conventional weddings. Thank you!!

    • I’m in the same boat! I want to propose but I really want a ring too! I’ve got a habit of buying myself things when I’m buying other people presents (I know it sounds selfish, but I pretty much never buy myself anything any other time) and Mr. always jokes about it. I’m a bit worried he’ll think I’m greedy or something, or wreck the moment teasing me for getting myself a ring. I’m thinking that I’ll get him a ring for the proposal but tell him I want a ring too.

      Tay you commented over a year ago, but I wish I knew what you decided on!

      And one last thing about the amount of time together – it doesn’t matter! My partner and I have been together 7 years, but we got tattoos of eachother’s names within the first couple of weeks of being together. We know it’s forever, and I’ve never cared about a boring old wedding. Until now!

  35. I just stumbled on this website via a discussion board- and I love it! I have been debating on proposing to my boyfriend. The few people I have ran this idea by aren’t too fond of it, so I have been straddling the fence. After reading this and the comments, i realize that I don’t care anymore- I am about to start planning 🙂

  36. So my boyfriend and I have known eachother since we were kids. We’ve been dating for a couple years. He’s the one. I’ve known it since we were little. We’ve been talking “forever” recently, but no questions have been popped. I decided that I dont have to wait around for him to ask. This weekend were heading home for holiday and I’m going ask for his mother’s blessing. I want the proposal to be really special though. He has a favorite sports team and I thought about buying tickets to a game and asking him there. Maybe even having “Will you Marry Me?” put up on the score board. But i kind of feel like its been done. ANy thoughts?

  37. Well ladies, after reading all of your posts and stories I have decided to go ahead with my plans of proposing to the love of my life tonight. He and I have been together for a year but we both know that we are soul mates and that we have found the person that we are meant to be with. Wish me luck!!! I’ll keep you posted as to the results.

  38. After reading this site about 2 months ago you ladies really inspired me so I proposed to my man! Thank you!

    Mine wasn’t very fancy. I bought him a black titanium ring with a single diaond (manly and gorgeous) and I had been saving it for a few weeks pondering on how I’d propose and one Thursday afternoon I just knew I had to do it today. Nothing went according to plan though! I bought a cake and had the lady write “Will you Marry me?” on it, I rushed over to his house which is 2 hours from mine and I was going to decorate his apartment with candles and junk because he wasn’t suppoed to be there but he WAS! SO I acted normal, we went grocery shopping together and had a midnight candlelit dinner of salad in our PJs on his patio. I cleared the dishes and came back out with the cake, the look on his face was priceless. I told him not to answer me yet, got on my knee, whipped out the ring (didn’t fit) and gave him my speech but I was so nervous I forgot half of it and he said of course I will marry you. He was speechless!

  39. Hey, I was just wondering what you made the box out of? Hope you don’t mind me nabbing this idea I just think it’s so sweet perfect and quirky! 😀 xx

  40. Well I was also on the fence about this whole thing, but after reading all the comments, I’ve decided to go for it. Really the only thing holding me back was what other people would think, but who cares? We’ll be happy. I was actually joking with him last week and asked “what would you do if I proposed to you?” and he said “Probably say yes?” We’ve talked about it before, and marriage, so I know we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but I’m a TOTAL romantic and grab life by the balls kind of girl and he’s more reserved and logical. I know that he doesn’t care for gender roles at all, so that won’t be an issue. My plan is to buy him a ring with my fingerprint on it and lyrics from our song etched on the inside with a weighted companion cube ring box. I’m going to take him out to a nice dinner at a place we both love and then take him back home to cuddle and have a youtube video that I will play for him with our song playing and pictures of our memories and then have my computer camera turned on (hopefully he won’t notice that part) and then after he’s watched it, I’ll get down on one knee and propose! Hopefully this will be done by February because I totally don’t know if I can keep this inside much longer.

  41. me and my BF have been together almost 4 years and living together for almost 4 years (he got kicked out his parents house 2 months into relationship and moved in with me and my family) we got our own place about a year and a half ago and things are going great – we have moved from “if we get married” to “when we get married” and he shocked me by even telling me the childrens names he likes. iv been planning to ask him since october and in 2 days (feb 29th) im going to. im so jittery but so excited about it … i dont want anyone else … he is my first and only love and i knew from the first day that he was the person i would end up with. fingers crossed he will day yes … getting a plain ring for him for when i ask as a token and i have my engagement ring already picked out ^_^ … just have to make it the last full day without asking him early …

  42. Im proposing on Friday {day after tomorrow} Its Feb 29 today, but he is away on a business trip. SO On friday Im taking him to a really good sushi place {our first meal together} and then we are going to our favourite music venue {our first time on an outing}. I plan to lead him to the spot I first realised he was special, prior to actually dating, and tell him how much I love him, how happy I am and then Ill ask him to pretend for a second we had a Tardis {a geek thing we both understand and love} and it was now Wednesday. I will then ask him to allow me the honour of trying to make him as happy as he makes me for the rest of our lives, will he marry me.
    Its heart stoppingly terrifying, and while I have moments of sheer panic, deep down i know its right. Im just scared of him saying no due to the tradition being turned on its head. He is a very traditional Englishman.
    Oh, and I got him engraved stainless steel guiter picks. One says I pick you, our names and date we first started going out, and the other says Because theres noone like you in the universe, a lyric from a band we particularly love, and the song that I told him I want as my wedding first dance on our first outing. He fell in love me at that moment he says. 🙂

  43. I need some advice my guy and I hve been together for 2 yrs an some months. Lately he’s been talking about marrage and telling his daughter tht I’m her step mom and he even watches bridezilla with me so I stated tht if we was to ever get married I wouldnt be like tht I would rathe get married at the court house and he agreed should I pop the question I got the rings already but the ideas I’ve seen on here are very cool HELP

    • go for it … it sounds like he is ready you never know he might be thinking of a way to ask you (happened to me) do something special maybe get the daughter involved when you do … who can say know to a cute child and or animal … i know i wouldnt …

  44. i posted on here about proposing earlier this year – i cooked him a big meal and i got him a ring (pre-ordered mine as well haha) and asked, he said YES, he also advised he had been looking for a ring for me and trying to think of a romantic way to ask me but secretly im happy i beat him too it … im now due to be getting married 22nd June 2013 and i cant wait. beat the steriotypes and just ask him if you feel its right – better to know then to keep guessing.

  45. Thanks nicole ill let u know how it goes I’m going to go for it on sat. At his fav resturant. (Fingers crossed) 🙂

  46. Thanks ill let u know how it goes I’m going to go for it on sat. At his fav resturant. (Fingers crossed) 🙂

  47. Thanks ill let u know how it goes I’m going to go for it on sat. At his fav resturant. (Fingers crossed)

  48. Thanks ill let u know how it goes I’m going to go for it on sat. At his fav resturant.

  49. I did it I made his fav meal had a glass engraved with his name on it then I light candles all around my room put on a grass skrit and tht was all I did it an he said you know I’m going to say yes so I gave him the ring he told me why didn’t u tell me now I have to go out and get u a ring I pulled mines out and said tookn care of

  50. This is so helpful, I’ve just started planning to propose to my boyfriend of so far 5 months, it may seem early, but he’s the one. Not a romantic so if I want a romantic proposal I’ll have to do it myself 🙂
    I’ve planned a ring for him, and now I’ve just got to plan the rest.

  51. I think I made a big mistake by being defensive about the institution of marriage (my parents and almost every couple I know have ended in divorce) and told him I never want to get married, ever since then I have been trying to revise my statement by adding that although it is stupid to legally bind yourself to a partner that is based on emotions, and not financial profit (or shouldn’t be in my book, I am a poor teacher and I don’t want to be a burden on him), doesn’t mean that I don’t want to dedicate my love and non-material qualities to someone special for the rest of my life. I don’t know, but although in my mind I have the idea that him proposing would be romantic, I still want things on my terms. I guess I want to propose because if he doesnt agree to be my partner in love and health then I won’t need to waste anymore time of his or mine. Can you tell I have dealt with some lazy guys before??? Lol !

  52. I’m considering proposing to my partner of just over a year theres a big age gap of 21 years and I’m only 23, however we are so made for each other, we’ve talked about marriage before but never getting hinched ourselves , I’ve brought yellow rose petals my favourite flower , I plan to put these up the stairs leading in to the bathroom and in the bath, with candles lit on the bath edge with a silver trinket box that says will you marry

  53. Hahaha I love this! I proposed to my boyfriend in Novemeber 2004 and he said “No, I’m too young(20)”. Then after spending Christmas and NYE together and parting ways Jan 1st 2005, two weeks later he called me and said “Here’s my credit card number, buy me a plane ticket and let’s get married in 2 weeks”. We talked to each others parents and got married Feb 05, 2005. We’ve been together for 10 years next month and married almost 10 years (Anniversary on Feb 2015). We have a 4 y/o and I’m more in love now than I was 10 years ago. I tease him all the time since I was the one that proposed 😉

  54. My boyfriend and I haven’t been dating for very long, but I’m thinking about proposing to him on our six-month anniversary. The moment(s) I realized that I trusted him were on our second date when we laid in my car and told each other pretty much all of our history and then again when we took a trip to California for a week together.

    My relationships haven’t lasted for more than 4 months, so if he sticks around for half a year or longer, I’m sure he’s the one! What I want to do is give him a customized Legend of Zelda-themed ring box with my favorite Celtic knot ring that he loves so much. Choosing rings together will be pretty easy since we both wear the same size!

  55. I would propose to my boyfriend, but we’re not even in the “If we get married . . .” stage yet. Here’s what’s happened so far:
    I broached the topic with my boyfriend around Christmas 2014, being like, “Having to walk by a bridal salon twice a day everyday for the four months I lived in Japan may have done this to me, but I’m kind of starting to get into the idea of marriage. What do you think?” His response: “I still have no idea.”
    A few days later, my mom started asking me when we were going to do it, because we’d been together just over a year. The second time was when she was driving me to the airport two hours away. Boyfriend and I were planning to move to my hometown in August (now just me — he has another year of school left), so I asked her, “If we can’t find a place to live before moving here, could we just stay with you for, like, a week?” Her response: “In theory, yes, but . . . I really wish you would just get married.” She then launched into a 5-minute speech about how married relationships are inherently stronger because the threat of divorce compels couples to use the tools available (to all couples, really) to maintain their relationship.
    So when I got off the plane I called my boyfriend to tell him what had happened and was so frustrated, confused, and completely turned off to the idea of even considering it if it was just going to look like caving to parental pressure, that I (somewhat rashly) told him she had just killed any desire I had for marriage. He was like, “Okay. Understandably so.” And we haven’t touched it since.
    Eight months later, I feel like once again, I’m back at what I’ve been feeling for a year or maybe two: Legal benefits of marriage, yes. Ceremony, no. Big reception, yes. For all I know, Boyfriend’s still not even thinking about it. This is probably at least partially because I’ve almost become a bunny boiler on the topic.
    That’s not to say I won’t show him marriage- and kids-related stuff when it’s relevant (i.e., “Would you change your name if you got married?” when I find a hilarious article about it). I just act all neutral about it, like I don’t give a fuck personally because I have no idea how I feel about marriage either.
    We live 1200 miles apart now and he plans to make his way to where I am if he can’t get into grad school after he finishes this last year of undergrad. So I have no question that he’s committed. And not getting married is no dealbreaker for me. I want to stay with him for the foreseeable future no matter what.

    So. How do I undo all of that without making it awkward for both of us? I want to open the dialogue again, but he just plain doesn’t like talking or thinking about the future more than he has to.

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