Check out this gender-neutral “love for everyone” alternative bouquet toss

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Check out this gender-neutral "love for everyone" alternative bouquet toss
Photo by Steve Sunserie

Julia and Ben had a wedding in Berkeley with a taco buffet, sangria, homemade beer, and rainbow bridesmaids. But one detail we (and the bride!) hardcore loved was her “love for everyone” alternative bouquet toss. It was inclusive, full of sentiment and gratitude for everyone, and just a rad way to celebrate the guests without weirding anyone out with categories or gender or single/married issues.

Want to hear about it? Here's what Julia told us about it…

Bouquet tosses have always been my LEAST FAVORITE part of weddings. To me, the traditional bouquet toss feels like women are just desperate the get married, the design doesn't accept LGBTQ couples well, and while I love my husband and am thrilled to be married to him, I feel like many people are just as happy without marriage. Why wish something on people they don't want?

So, for the bouquet toss, I had all my bridesmaids stand with me, and all guests gather in front of us. I gave a little speech, along the lines of…

‘Hello! I had to do things differently, so thank you all for standing for the bouquet toss. Obviously I love marriage, otherwise none of us would be here today. However, I feel that marriage is only one expression of love, and so, my wish for all of you today is: may love come into your life.'

Then my bridesmaids and I all turned our backs to the guests. We had cut the ties on our bouquets in advance, so that when we all flung them above our shoulders, the flowers spread out and could be caught by many people.

I loved my bouquet toss.

SO DO WE! Thanks for sharing it, Julia!

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Comments on Check out this gender-neutral “love for everyone” alternative bouquet toss

  1. This is a lovely idea. I did this with my bouquet in 1984 – it’s why I used silk flowers. All of the little girls were happy to scoop up flowers and I know that at least one still has hers.

  2. That is such a wonderful idea. I’ve always thought the traditional bouquet toss was a bit exclusive too, though I know lots of people think it’s a good bit of fun so whatever works. But I love the idea of everyone being able to share the love and catch a flower!

    At our wedding there were more single men than single women, so the day before we had the last-minute idea of my husband getting all the men together and throwing a (light, plastic!) sword to them instead of the bride throwing a bouquet (which I didn’t have anyway). We didn’t get round to it in the end, but we had a good subversive giggle over the thought of turning the tradition so much on its head 😀

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