I don't like the word “vows” in the context of weddings. A vow is like a promise and, whether we like it or not, promises are easy to break. I prefer the word “intentions,” because it gives you a clear view of my side of things and my way of thinking. What I intend to do is what is important, how I intend to treat you — right now and for the rest of my life.
This is just truth. I can't see into the future. I can't see all of the ways that we will inevitably hurt one another. I can't see how our love is going to grow and morph into (hopefully) this bigger, even stronger thing than it is today, at our wedding. What I can see is how I want to treat you, and how I intend to love you.
Here is what I wrote as my “marriage intentions”…
Your love is like an electric current running straight through my heart. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes I look at you, and I feel really full, like a balloon stretched to its limits — but in a good way. Your love is solid ground beneath my feet, it is an arm around my shoulder and the kind of hug that makes all of your worries melt away. Your love is my bread and water. It is a snowball fight in the winter and the sunshine sinking deep into my skin on a warm summer day. It's the adrenaline of climbing down a steep cliff and standing next to a freezing waterfall, with its roar pounding in my ears. Your love is chicken noodle soup when I'm sick and macaroni and cheese when I'm sad. Your love is so big that I never knew I could want it or that it could ever be in my reach.
I intend to be those things for you too. I intend to support you — in your decisions, in your choices, and in your life. I intend to help you continue to learn and improve, and to do the same, so that we can always be the best versions of ourselves for one another. I intend to love you — hard, unconditionally, and openly — as much or more than I do today, which is a lot by the way.
We love this idea of stating intentions instead of making vows! Anyone else have great ideas to use as a wedding vow alternative?