This cracked me up — except for the part at the end where the bride growls “I WANT WEDDING FLOWERS.” Fuck that stereotypical shit. < Previous Post Melissa’s rainy rural wedding with the biggest bonfire evar! Next Post > 3 ways to have a dance-free wedding reception About the Author: Ariel @arielmstallings Author of three editions of the Offbeat Bride book and its sequel (From Shitshow To Afterglow, the ultimate offbeat breakup book) Ariel Meadow Stallings is the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire web properties. She lives in Seattle with her son. To read her latest writing, follow @arielist on Medium.