Kyran & Zach’s gothic “day and night”-themed wedding

Offbeat partner: Kyran, teacher

Offbeat partner: Zach, pharmacy technician

Date and location of wedding: Shirley Acres, Spring, TX — June 27, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: When it came to our wedding, Zach and I had to really think about what would fit us. Both of us are atheists, so churches and anything else religious were out. The most prominent thing about our relationship is how opposite we are. I'm very emotionally intuitive and artistic, while he's hyper rational and scientific. Because we wanted our wedding to reflect this balance of opposing forces, we went with the theme of the day and the night. This carried through from our colors to our cakes, and photography.

Tell us about the ceremony:
Our ceremony was incredibly short, and I was glad for that. We made sure to emphasize our differences and the ways in which they complemented each other. We also included a line about my lows to his highs, which I think was very important. I'm depressive and he's bipolar, so that has been a very big part of our relationship. We even each other out and ground each other, so it was important for me to include that.

On top of that, we were able to sneak in this X-Men quote:

Everything is so fragile. There's so much conflict, so much pain. You keep waiting for the dust to settle, and then you realize this is it: the dust is your life going on. If happy comes along, that weird, unbearable delight that's actual happy, you have to grab it while you can. You take what you can get.

Our biggest challenge:
Trying to work with the DJ was a huge headache. There was a lack of communication between our DJ and the venue, so even though we were supposed to give him our music two weeks in advance through the venue, he didn't get it until the day-of. I wonder if he never got our paperwork, either. Because of my strong feminist beliefs, I didn't take on my husband's last name, so we had asked to be announced by our first names. He ended up announcing us incorrectly right after our first dance, and it spoiled the moment. He ended up skipping the honeymoon dance and anniversary dance, too. At the time, I was too distracted and busy to make sure everything happened like it was supposed to. In retrospect, I wish I had found a way to keep better tabs on that.

My favorite moment:
Ultimately, the way our wedding most accurately reflected us was that we relied and depended upon the help of our friends and family to pull it together. I don't know if I can even list off all the things that friends and family contributed to make it possible, from all the cakes, to hair-styling, makeup, wedding favors, the flowers, and even helping to pay for things when we were coming up short. We couldn't have done it without those important people. I think that's true of our relationship as well. No matter the rough patches, our friends have always helped to push us through.

Because of this, we decided to toast our friends and guests instead of the other way around. It meant a lot to me to be able to thank everyone. Of course, Zach hadn't prepared his toast at any point. He ended up coming up with one on the spot, thanking his friends and family for having so much fun with him that he did forget.

My funniest moment:
Space Jam. Before the wedding, I had gleefully posted on Facebook about putting the Quad City DJs' hit on my must-play wedding playlist. I knew it would be a song my friends would dance to, on top of the goofy humor in it. All through the night, though, guests requested it, and our DJ told us he didn't have it. Eventually news of this came to me, and I told a guest to give the word from the bride to make sure it got played. Sure enough, he put it on and almost everyone was on the dance floor pretending to shoot hoops. This included the parents and the grandparents!

What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
Always bring a spare! All of my bridesmaids had black birdcage veils, and I had bought an extra thinking I might wear one. By the time the wedding rolled around, I had switched to a long black lace veil. I'm glad I did, because somewhere in the mess of getting ready, we just barely had enough veils.

We had also bought ties for all the groomsmen, which were all different but the same shades of gold. Somehow we ended up with an extra one at the guesthouse. Then one of Zach's groomsmen swore up and down he had brought his tie, but it was nowhere to be found. Without missing a beat, we had a perfect tie for him to wear.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Photography: Sarah Mak and Nam Ta
• Dress: Camille la Vie
• Alterations and lace shrug: my dressmaker Ashton Miyako
• DJ: Sound Connections
• Florals: My mother, Sherri Walker
• Cake: Jungle Cafe
• Groom's and bride's cakes: my bridesmaid, Margaret Hill
• Bride and groom's haircut and color: Jessica Watkins of SoK Salon
• Hair styling: my good friend Angelica Mier Picard
• Nails: Plush Nail Studio
• Rings: Winged Lion

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