Non-traditional, non-religious, NON-BORING officiant wedding script
We twisted some traditions and added our own flair (champagne toast! unity box full of letters! serenade!) to create a beautiful ceremony that I am... Read more
Like most people, my partner and I have diverse interests and influences that we wanted to honor with our ceremony, while simultaneously avoiding gendered language and emphasizing the commitment to family and community we felt inherent in marriage. As a queer person, it was important to me to have a ceremony that reflected our values while avoiding language that was cis- or hetero-centric. Our spiritual and philosophical practices and beliefs include both Christianity and Buddhism, and we both feel strongly about the value of secular institutions. On top of this, our wedding was space-themed! With all these things in mind, we decided to write the gender-neutral space-themed ceremony from scratch.
I'm the writer in the relationship, so I wrote this ceremony through a series of conversations with my fellow wedd-ee, and with his review and notes we constructed everything but the blessing, which was beautifully written and given by my partner's godmother.
Other egalitarian choices we made were as follows: rather than a procession, we entered one at a time from the sides, where our parents waited for us. We each kissed both of our parents before going to the center.
Ready to read the whole thing? Let's get cosmic AND egalitarian!
Hello, . Now that everyone is in place, I invite you all to take 30 seconds to snap a few last pictures before kindly stowing your phones away so that our photographer can capture the ceremony unobstructed.
Thank you!
Open (2-3 minutes)
“The size and age of the Cosmos are beyond ordinary human understanding,” as Carl Sagan told us in Cosmos. Lost somewhere between immensity and eternity is our tiny planetary home. In a cosmic perspective, most human concerns seem insignificant, even petty. And yet our species is young and curious and brave and shows much promise.
In the last few millennia we have made the most astonishing and unexpected discoveries about the Cosmos and our place within it[. … T]he Cosmos is rich beyond measure –in elegant facts, in exquisite interrelationships, in the subtle machinery of awe.”
We gather today to celebrate “exquisite interrelationships” of the human kind. Somewhere between the creation of the universe and the car ride over, [Wedd-ee 1] and [Wedd-ee 2] were born into the loving human relationships of their families. Along the way, they’ve had the good fortune to find more loving relationships: friendships that have endured for years, chosen family created through love and togetherness, awesome people they just love to hang out with, and of course, the unique love and companionship they’ve found in one another.
Each of these relationships — which I’m sure you realize include all of you — has played a part in growing and shaping Wedd-ee 1 and Wedd-ee 2 into the people who came here today to join their lives in marriage. They have invited you here not only to witness and celebrate their joy of the bond between them, but to celebrate the bonds of family and friendship that connect each of you with them, and which through them connect each of you to one another. So thank you all for joining the festivities today and being in the Wedd-ee 1 and Wedd-ee 2 universe — it’s a good one. I now welcome up [Reader] to share a reading…
Reading (1-2 minutes)
“A Blessing for The Journey” by Sensei Egyoku Nakao
Let us vow to bear witness to the wholeness of life,
realizing the completeness of each and every thing.
Embracing our differences,
I shall know myself as you,
and you as myself.
May we serve each other
for all our days,
here, there, and everywhere.
Let us vow to open ourselves to the abundance of life.
Freely giving and receiving, I shall care for you,
for the trees and stars,
as treasures of my very own.
May we be grateful
for all our days,
here, there, and everywhere.
Let us vow to forgive all hurt,
caused by ourselves and others,
and to never condone hurtful ways.
Being responsible for my actions,
I shall free myself and you.
Will you free me, too?
May we be kind
for all our days,
here, there, and everywhere.
Let us vow to remember that all that appears will disappear.
In the midst of uncertainty,
I shall sow love.
Here. Now. I call to you.
Let us together live
The Great Peace that we are.
May we give no fear
for all our days,
here, there, and everywhere.Vows (2-4 minutes)
Thich Nhat Hanh (Tik · N'yat · Harn, he/him/his) writes, “When we look into a beautiful chrysanthemum, we see that everything in the cosmos is present in that flower—clouds, sunshine, soil, minerals, space, and time. The flower can’t exist by itself alone.”
Today, you are both choosing to embrace that interdependency — with each other and with the extended family and community your love brings together, for a lifetime.
Wedd-ee 1, please repeat after me the vows that you and Wedd-ee 2 have chosen to affirm your commitment to each other:
(Repeat after Officiant)
I choose you as my partner, my beloved, and my family.
I vow to be your equal partner in life, to nurture and care for myself, for you, and for the love we build together.
I promise to always make space for our silliness, geekiness, and general nerding out, and I will never, ever stop exploring with you.Wedd-ee 2, please repeat after me the vows that you and Wedd-ee 1 have chosen to affirm your commitment to each other:
(Repeat after Officiant)
I choose you as my partner, my beloved, and my family.
I vow to be your equal partner in life, to nurture and care for myself, for you, and for the love we build together.
I promise to always make space for our silliness, geekiness, and general nerding out, and I will never, ever stop exploring with you.Wedd-ee 2, Do you willingly and joyfully enter into this lifelong partnership with Wedd-ee 1, loving what you know of him, and trusting what you do not yet know?
Wedd-ee 1,
Do you willingly and joyfully enter into this lifelong partnership with Wedd-ee 2, loving what you know of her, and trusting what you do not yet know?
Wedd-ee 1 & Wedd-ee 2,
Do you promise to support each other in interdependence and love, honoring your marriage with integrity and respect, and valuing each other’s growth and happiness alongside your own?Do you promise to meet the challenges of life together with open-mindedness and resolve, to cherish and nurture your shared love and joys, and never to part ways without goodbye kisses?
Knowing the privileges you gain in marriage, do you promise together to be intentional members of your families and communities, giving of your time and resources, and working to uplift those around you?
Exchange of the Rings
Ellen Frizell Wyckoff wrote, “There was once a little girl who cried out with joy when she realized for one little moment that the earth is truly a heavenly body, and that no matter what is happening to us we are really living right up among the stars. The sun is made of star stuff, and the earth is made of the same material, put together with a difference.”
Wedd-ee 1 & Wedd-ee 2 have both experienced this same joy and wonder, often in moments they have been lucky enough to share together. They have chosen to exchange meteorite rings, not only as a token of their love and commitment, but as a reminder of the awe they share in a limitless universe, knowing that we are all made of star stuff. May I have the rings?
Wedd-ee 2, please repeat after me:
(Repeat after Officiant)
Wedd-ee 1, I give you this ring as a symbol of our partnership,
And as a reminder of my promise to honor, love, and cherish you through all of life's adventures.Wedd-ee 2, I give you this ring as a symbol of our partnership,
And as a reminder of my promise to honor, love, and cherish you through all of life's adventures.And now to offer a blessing is by [Blessing Giver]
[BLESSING by Blessing Giver]
Thank you, [Blessing Giver].Wedd-ee 1 and Wedd-ee 2,
In the presence of loved ones, you have sealed your commitment to one another and your intentions for your life in love together. In recognition of these vows, and by my authority as officiant, I now pronounce you to be married to one another.I invite our friends and family to join me in congratulating you both as you begin your married life together with a hello kiss!
More ceremony scripts await
Carl Sagan AND Thich Nguyen….LOVE!
OMG I love this! I was looking for inspiration for our civil ceremony in September and I think I’ve just found it!
We are both astronomy geeks (we met at an observatory, studied physics together, he worked for the astrophysics department while I was completing my grad studies in the same department) and not religious at all (though I do have some buddhist-ish spirituality), and frankly had no idea how to structure our upcoming wedding ceremony. This is genius. I’m totally stealing your ideas. THANK YOU!