Posted by
My tacky registry: Why I think registry etiquette is bullshit
Sometimes I browse the Knot (I know I KNOW) for etiquette tips about things I'm not sure of (traditional wording on invites, etc) or to... Read more
Registry etiquette is ALWAYS a touchy subject. Some couples want less gifts and less obligation for guests to give them, and some guests just want more freedom to give what they want. But one discussion we want to introduce to the recently engaged is the concept of registry poems, popularized in countries like the UK and Australia.
Registries aren't as common there, but accepting cash gifts is, often requested in the form of registry poems (or wishing well poems). For Americans (and others) who may not know, these are literally fun little poems asking for money contributions to help with the wedding or honeymoon or just starting out their lives together. We're not huge fans of strict etiquette when it comes to gift-giving, so we're digging a whimsical way to ask for a little help in your new life (or to request for just their presence).
Here's the background and some templates if you'd like to try one out in your invitation…
Registry poems and templates
Reader Lottiepop wrote:
Registries aren't even a thing over here in the UK.
And boy have a had some not so nice remarks from Americans because we are asking for cash using a cash poem. Which are used all the time over here. In simple terms, it says thank you for coming, if you would like to bring a gift we would like cash to decorate the house or towards a honeymoon. But no worries if you don't, we're happy if you just bring yourselves. (But in a sweet rhyming poem, which people here like, so it doesn't come across as ‘give us cash').
Here's what reader Brodiebert wrote on their registry:
“More than just kisses so far we've shared,
our home has been made with Love and Care.
Most things we need we've already got,
and in our home we can't fit a lot.
Your presence at our wedding is all that we need,
that will bring us great joy indeed!If you insist to give us a gift,
some cash for our honeymoon would really give us a lift.
However, if you prefer to shop all day,
feel free to surprise us in your own way.
Please try to keep it light,
as we have a really long flight.”
Here are a few more registry poem ideas we found:
We do not have a wedding gift list,
nor a request for specific things.
All we want is your company and the memories the day brings.
A gift of money would be lovely,
and appreciated by us.
But please do not feel pressured as this really isn't a must.
The choice is really up to you, and we would like to say
we hope you come enjoy yourselves
and have a lovely day.
As we’re getting married, we thought it would be fun,
to move into a new home — we need to get it done.
As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,
Some money (or just your presence!) would be the ideal gift to help us in our place.
We’ve moved in together and have filled it with stuff,
From pots to pans, we’ve definitely got enough.
Instead of more toasters, we’d much prefer a little cash,
so that we can book a perfect honeymoon and head off in a dash.
A romantic weekend break would really do the trick,
as soon as we can afford it, we’ll be on that plane quick.
We can’t wait to spend our wedding day with you,
We’ve been planning hard and spending for a good year or two.
As we’re eager to start our married life in style,
an amazing honeymoon would really make us smile.
Instead of a gift list from a fancy shop,
what we’d really love is some help so that on a beach we can flop.
Your financial donation would truly mean a lot,
so thank you for contributing to our honeymoon pot.
We've been together quite a while, with all our pots and pans.
As we don't need any more gifts, we have another plan.
We know it's not traditional, and not the way it's done,
But rather than a wedding gift list, we'd love a bit of sun.
So if you'd like to give an optional gift, and send us on our way,
a donation to our honeymoon would really make our day.
Would YOU ask for cash gifts (or no gifts) with a whimsical poem?
About the Author: Catherine Clark
Catherine Clark loiters at her local library, makes art, watches movies en masse, plays video and tabletop games, poorly cooks healthy things, cuddles with her feline fur babies, and blogs at BijouxandBits.com.
This is much better than the Dutch way (though it does fit us, being the ‘direct’ people that we are): usually the words “gift idea” or some variation are printed on the invite, with a stylized enveloppe next to it. Couldn’t be clearer. The couple wants cash. 🙂
I have to be honest, I’m baffled at the claim that registries aren’t a thing over here. They don’t quite have the status they do in America, but the vast majority of marrying couples have one. We’ve come a long way from the days of the trousseau! What we don’t have is a culture of gifting money, so you have to be very careful in wording requests like that, hence the poems.
In Germany, registries really aren’t a thing. And that’s good. I mean, almost all couples live together years before the wedding, they already have all the household stuff they need.
Sometimes, people announce that they have a big project planned, like renovating the kitchen or splurging on a fancy barbecue or a new car and they mention in their invitations that they would like a contribution to that as a gift. And if they don’t mention anything, it is still understood that weddings are expensive and it is totally reasonable that the couple would like a cash gift.
Anyways, in both cases, guests bring a cash gift and nobody thinks it’s tacky.
I was totally baffled when I first heard that in the US, it is considered bad style/manners to prefer cash gifts instead of object gifts.