How to deal when your family freaks about your goth wedding theme

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Photography by DNA Photography

Offbeat Wed's assistant editor Suki Lanh was featured in an article on Bored Panda about what to do when a mother of the bride feaks out over a goth wedding theme. The writer was investigating how couples can deal with family members have strong negative reactions to their goth wedding or otherwise macabre wedding theme…

According to Suki Lanh, assistant editor at Offbeat Wed, a family’s involvement and advice should be dependent on however much the marriers are willing to accept. “What it comes down to is the marriers’ values and boundaries,” she explained. “Whether or not your family has agreed to pay for your wedding, it’s certainly not fun to feel like your agency and voice have been taken away. Especially on a day that’s about celebrating your love!”

Suki also says she’s very familiar with dark wedding themes. “And they’re all GORGEOUS,” she told Bored Panda. “The folks who read the Offbeat Wed blog come to us because they love all things nontraditional. We accept reader wedding submissions, and I wholeheartedly believe our readers are the most creative people in the game!”

“Offbeat Wed readers have done black wedding dresses, macabre themes, goth weddings, Halloween weddings, Pagan weddings, Satanic weddings,” Suki continued. “The ‘dark’ wedding themes are endless at the Offbeat Wed blog! We recently had a witchy handfasting where two marriers included ‘vulture culture,’ a hobby that includes collecting animal bones. As a wedding gift, a friend gifted them a dead coyote that had been hit by a car. The couple buried it, and dug it up again on their first anniversary.”

Here's the witchy handfasting goth wedding Suki mentioned:

We also love how Suki reminded everyone about our much beloved “conflict resolution” posts:

Suki shared that it can be useful to determine the root of why your family members may disapprove, as they’re likely not actually upset about the theme. “It’s probably a projection of another feeling. Perhaps they’re worried their relatives will think poorly of them,” she explained. “Perhaps they’ve invited their boss and want to make a good impression. Take the time to get to the bottom of it, and don’t forget to lead with kindness, curiosity, and questions. This might give you more clarity and help you create compromises that everyone loves! For instance, if they’re upset that you’re having a black wedding cake, perhaps you can add lovely white icing or a traditional cake topper to appease them.”

“It also helps to show them examples of how the theme has been executed beautifully!” Suki added. “If they see more photos and inspiration from other weddings, they’ll be more inclined to admit that it’s a pretty dope theme after all. Another option we’ve seen Offbeat Wed readers do is finance their own weddings entirely. This puts them in a more comfortable position to brush off negative opinions.” This gives marriers the option to respond to unsolicited advice with, “Sorry, that’s not in our wedding budget,” which leaves the family with two options: “Fork out some cash if they really want to make it happen or let go and let God,” Suki shared. The expert added that Offbeat Wed also has a “copy ’n paste conflict resolution” piece that can be helpful for couples in similar situations.

If you're planning a goth wedding and dealing with family drama, you can read the whole article over on Bored Panda. And of course if want TONS of goth wedding inspo, we have got you covered!

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