Posted byLast week I introduced you to Dana Jay Bein, the wedding industry's premier male flower girl. First seen at Bobby & Clare's puppet wedding, I decided it was time for a gritty 1-on-1 interview with him.
Dana, was this the realization of a long-time dream?
I never thought I'd have flower girl on my resume … but to be honest I'd never ruled it out. That's just the type of person I am. Anything is possible. I'm open to life's opportunities!
Tell us about your journey to male flower girl.
Bobby (groom/giant) has been one of my best friends since college. We're both comedians so laughter and fun is inherently part of whatever we do.
To be honest, until Claire, I never really imagined Bobby as a married man. So when he told me he was engaged, I knew instantly that this wedding would be different. Deep down, I knew Bobby would have a surprise or two in store for the wedding party.
When Bobby approached me about the wedding, I was open minded and definitely prepared for anything he might propose. I'm used to doing outlandish and ridiculous things on a day to day basis so it was likely that he would up the ante for a special occasion.
To be honest, I don't even think he even asked me. I think he just said, “You're our flower girl.”
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…And I was ecstatic! That was that. He could have said, “You're my tuxedo.” and I wouldn't have thought twice about it. Of course, I'm your tuxedo. As improvisers and great friends, we just roll with things.
So, there I was — the flower girl. A 29-year-old male flower girl. It was more an honor than it was a joke or a novelty. (Although it WAS all three) What's funny is that it just made sense. My friends constantly rib me for being meticulously metrosexual and my friendship to Bobby and Claire means a ton to me. So, for me, being the flower girl was a perfect marriage of laughter and recognition. l was thrilled to be a key part in my friends' beautiful ceremony in such groundbreaking fashion.
What qualities should one look for when selecting a male flower girl?
From my experience, a male flower girl needs to be fun, open minded and, most importantly, comfortable with the role! If you're thinking about approaching someone to do this, you probably already know that person is a good candidate and a good sport. Go with your gut!
Don't just do it for the joke — make sure the guy is right for it and also that he's close to you and your partner. I wouldn't force the role on someone who is unwilling. If the guy isn't comfortable, it just won't work. The reason we were able to have so much fun with this is that Bobby and Claire's friends and family know me and my sense of humor … and my almost excessive willingness to take on this role!
How did you prepare for your responsibilities?
I didn't study other flower girls to prepare for the role — that would be creepy. Who is that guy? What is he doing here? Was he invited?
Not to mention, if I studied actual flower girls, I might have picked up bad habits like crying, forgetting the petals or running away. AMATEURS! No running away or forgetting petals with this guy!
(I did cry at the rehearsal dinner. No joke. Cute AND sensitive!!!)
Were you daunted by your duties?
The responsibility involved in being a flower girl didn't really hit me until I was issued my petals. Once I had my bag of petals, I knew this was for real. I mean, I didn't have to wear a dress so there was nothing distinctly flower girlish about me until then. No petals = groomsman. Petals = flower girl.
I couldn't believe I was going to precede the bride down the aisle. Unreal. I was somewhat hesitant before the ceremony began. I felt I was going to steal focus but Bobby and Claire knew what they were doing and still encouraged me to have fun with it. So I did.
I decided to be tongue-in-cheek elegant … gracefully throwing the petals over the guests. I wouldn't have been tongue-in-cheek about it, but the laughter upon my arrival to the ceremony proved that there was more than just elegance and grace operating in my flower girl execution. As I approached the altar, I saw a humorous photo opportunity and the result is the picture of me throwing flower petals into the lens of the camera. Ridiculous!
Any final words?
The bottom line is that if you are a fun couple; your wedding should represent that somehow. It will make for a more memorable occasion for you and your guests. I'm working on planning my wedding right now and I'm single!!! I just have THAT much work to do to top this one. 😉
Update June 2011: Three years after we wrote this post, the New York Times finally caught on to this trend, interviewing Dana for their article, As Wedding Roles Evolve, Here Come the Flower Men.
That rules so hard! I just laughed so hard tears came out!
I would go see his act anytime. What a cutie!
hahahaa… pure awesomeness!
wonderful and hilarious interview, Ariel and Dana. enjoyed reading it!
dana ROCKS. he’s funny AND nice. when i was laying on the dance floor trying to get up, he tried to help me. course, standing up w/ one foot because the other one’s gimpy…is hard to do, and, uh…i landed back on my butt. but my point is…he TRIED! also, he looked awesome slow-dancing with puppet-dana.
[…] … the 29-year-old male flower girl […]
This is too great! Thanks for sharing!
Wedding industry’s premiere flower girl – that’s awesome! Why am I suddenly seeing this as a Lifteime movie of the week??
“Dana Jay Bein, True Confessions of a Male Flower Girl. Tonight on Lifetime. Brought to you by Axe Deoderant and Mattel”
I think he may be the first male of our species made of sugar, spice and everything nice.
Oh my stars…
Dana, I am so in love with you. Will you marry me?
if I wasn’t already engaged, I’d totally be camped out on Dana’s doorstep!
Mana-Mana
Do-Do-Do-do-do…
Mana-Mana
Do-Do-Do-Do
Mana-Mana!
Awesome. I wish we had a male flower girl…or any flower girl, really. But I’m not a fan of flowers, so maybe I should invent a new role. “Handing Out Candies Girl?” Sounds good to me.
Dana, I think we should tie the knot, just don’t tell my fiancee, hehe. What a great idea and he did with such finesse!
i am smitten with the idea of a male flower girl, and even more so with Dana. cute cute cute
I feel the love. I am truly humbled.
DJB
I sort of have a HUGE crush on Dana now. Too bad I just got married…
Dana’s first word was FWOWER. Who knew ??
I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time! Thanks for the great article, and much-needed laugh =]
Dude, i love this guy. that’s all there really is to say.
Too cute and surprisingly touching! I can see how Dana was perfect as the flower girl. I hope I can do something similar in my wedding – gotta keep it fun!
[…] role of “flower girl”, check out Offbeat Bride blog and Ariel’s interview with Dana, the male flower girl. Yeah. […]
HA! Love it! Great way to incorporate everyone into your wedding.
I really want my brother as my ‘Bridesbloke’..as well as a former boss as another ‘Bridesbloke’ along with my cousin as a Matron of Honour.
So very glad to see that I’m not the only one with this idea.
BTW.. if I didnt have my brother as my ‘Bridesbloke’ he wouldn’t remember to turn up on the day. Seriously.
My friend was the “Flower Fella” at a friend’s wedding a month ago. It was pretty awesome! He did a great job! He’s going to be in my wedding too, but I haven’t come up with a good “title” for him yet. He’s obviously not a bridesmaid…so I’m still thinkin’.
“Bridesman” is a popular one. Check out the gender blind wedding party weddings on OBB for more ideas!
I LOVE that I ran across this article! Dana is fantastic! My gay-ex-husband is going to be my flower gay. I hope it turns out half-so well ;0)
Oh my gosh, this was the article I needed to refresh myself that weddings are fun and not about making guests happy. Dana, you’re the cutest flower girl ever! Come be MY flower girl next year, yeah? 😉
I know this is very late to the party, but I’ve read this article many times and it still makes me laugh. Especially the improv parts. “Of course I’m your tuxedo”!