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Offbeat partners: Kat and Jordan
Date and location: 4/15/2023 – Pavilion at the Lake, Atascadero, CA
Our Dungeons and Dragons interfaith wedding at a glance:
Our wedding was as eclectic as Jordan and I are ourselves! I am Christian and Jordan is Jewish so, while we only had a Rabbi at the ceremony, she made sure to highlight our interfaith relationship.
As a queer person in a straight-presenting relationship, I wanted elements in the wedding that represented that side of myself: hence, our extra colorful ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) and the beautiful rainbow veil + manicure!
I am also mixed race, so for my reception dress I brought in a bit of my Mexican heritage with a traditional party dress hand-embroidered by women in Mexico.
The general theme of the wedding was the game that brought me and Jordan together nearly 6 years ago: Dungeons & Dragons!
We had themed cocktail hour games, a cake that featured 3D printed miniatures of Jordan and I fighting a dragon, folded d8s (8-sided dice) with chocolate kisses inside as wedding favors, and themed centerpieces painted by myself and my talented family.
Tell us about the Dungeons and Dragons interfaith wedding ceremony:
Our processional was to a Spanish guitar rendition of “Romantic Flight” from the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack (I am a big film score nerd) and ended in the Jewish tradition of circling of each other at the altar.
As we had our ceremony at the end of Shabbat, the Rabbi started with Havdalah, followed by my two younger sisters singing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from The Lion King.
Our vows to each other were a rewording of our ketubah text:
“As we embark on life's journey, we promise to love, cherish, encourage and inspire one another. Our hearts fuse together, creating a unique bond with friendship and compassion at its core.
Through this union, we vow to value and support each other, always striving to show sensitivity to each other's needs.
We shall nurture one another emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually, embracing our respective qualities, strengths, and heritages.
May we continue to grow together, maintaining the courage and determination to pursue our desired paths.
We promise to celebrate life's joys with grace and overcome life's adversities with tenacity. May we maintain the intimacy that fosters trust, honesty and communication.
As life partners, we shall strive to build a home emanating love, peace, charity, and tolerance.
Through each other's eyes, we see the world anew: may we be better together.”
During cocktail hour our bridal party ran the J&K D&D experience – a series of party games related to the 3 pillars of Dungeons and Dragons:
- Exploration: finding little dragon figurines that we hid around the venue
- Roleplay: a human bingo icebreaker game
- Combat: cornhole – a California favorite
We told everyone just to take photos of the dragons and leave them where they were hidden, but by the end of the night the children at the wedding had collected them all! It was very cute, and I was not mad at all that I only got 2 back. The prizes for completing all three games were wildflower seed packets.
We also had a couple of fun dances for everyone to participate in: the traditional Jewish chair dance and a country line dance to Footloose!
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
The most important lesson I learned (or was reminded of) during the 2 years of planning for this wedding was to not be afraid to lean on my support system. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and I struggle sometimes with asking for help.
But, throughout this process, our family and friends let us know they were there for us in every way that mattered. This was all the more important because Jordan and I planned our California wedding from Scotland – without US phone numbers!
Our parents and siblings in California attended meetings we couldn't physically go to, my friends in Scotland came with me to choose my wedding dress when none of my family could, and day-of we had a small army of around 40 people to help us set up and take down all the decorations.
Long story short, Jordan and I were both brought to tears by the efforts and love of our community, and I know our marriage will be buoyed by that community for the rest of our lives.
Vendors
- Photographer: SSR Photo
- Day-of-Coordinator: Jessica Lee Events
- Ceremony Dress: Bliss Studio
- Party Dress: SoleiEthnic
- Rainbow veil: LBVeils
- Flowers: Wedding Flowers For Rent
- Caterer: Popolo Catering
- Dessert: Cowboy Cookie and Ice Cream
- Venue: Pavilion on the Lake
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