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Any opinion on who to bring to a wedding if you are completely single but have been granted a “plus one?” One wedding I am in the wedding party and the other I am just a guest, but both weddings I will only know a handful of people. Any advice on who should I bring as my plus one? – Jaynessa
This is a familiar situation for me who has spent a fair amount of my life single. There's absolutely no reason to think that you need to forgo bringing a plus one to the wedding just because you're single. If you got the go on the invite, you're safe to bring someone. Who you bring, on the other hand, is the issue, of course.
How to tell your guests they don't get a +1
So you're trying to keep your wedding small. How do you tell your friends that they don't get to bring a guest?
The first situation will likely have you sitting with the wedding party, running a few errands for the couple, and generally being occupied with your particular wedding party role. So you want to make sure you're bringing someone who can chill alone if need be. Don't bring someone who will feel uncomfortable at a table by themselves or who will feel neglected by your duties. Maybe someone who also knows one or two of the guests?
The second situation, where you're just one of the guests, is a little more free in terms of who you can bring. Bring your introverted bestie, your wallflowering sibling, your wing-person to hook you up, or pretty much anyone who you know will enhance your fun at the reception. And since you're just one of the guests, you can give them your full attention and spend more time robot-ing on the dance floor or writing your funniest line in the guest book.
Alternately, you are totally allowed NOT to bring someone if it's just easier for you. Don't feel like you have to at all, especially if your plus one options are limited. If there's any place where you can take a swig of courage and meet new people, it's at a wedding reception. You definitely don't want to end up bringing someone who might bring you down just to have someone there.
Single readers: chime in! Who do you think they should bring to the weddings?
About the Author: Catherine Clark
Catherine Clark loiters at her local library, makes art, watches movies en masse, plays video and tabletop games, poorly cooks healthy things, cuddles with her feline fur babies, and blogs at BijouxandBits.com.
I only have one bit of advice. Do NOT bring a child as a plus-one, if it’s not a kid-friendly wedding. Yes, it happened in my family.
Otherwise, I’m on board with the “you don’t have to bring a plus-one if you don’t want to” bandwagon. Maybe it’s a chance to get to know some other people that you didn’t know before?
I gave each of my guests a plus one, but I have to admit, I don’t want all of them to bring one. Some of them, I’m not sure if they’re seeing someone or not, others I expect to be dating someone by the time the wedding rolls around, and others I just gave them the plus one because I gave them to other singles. That being said, I think your plus one is a DATE, and I don’t really want you to bring your sibling or friend. So in my opinion, if it isn’t a romantic interest, don’t bring them please!
That’s a bit unfair, unless you make it clear that the “plus one” is only for a date. If you haven’t made that clear then of course people will assume they can bring a friend or sibling, especially if they don’t know many other people. I’ve been to more than one wedding where the only people I knew were the bride and groom who, obviously, couldn’t spend much time with me. If someone’s travelling and making the effort to go to a wedding where they don’t know anyone it’s not unreasonable for them to bring a friend to keep them company – especially if it’s one of those weddings with such loud music that you can’t talk to people without shouting, since that means you’re unlikely to meet new people by striking up a causal conversation!
Also that should be “casual”, not “causal”, whoops!
I wouldn’t bring a plus one for the wedding you’re in the wedding party. You’ll be able to party with the other wedding party members, and you’ll meet a lot of the close friends through all the pre wedding affairs (showers, bachelorettes, ect.) Besides, your plus one will be alone for MOST of the wedding, really until the dancing starts.
These are great tips! But one more…
If you are thinking of bringing someone as a plus-one who knows the couple, maybe ask the couple first since there could be an unknown reason they weren’t invited to begin with (hopefully it’s just limited space/money, but you don’t want to assume and find out they’re worst enemies or something).
We felt very strongly about giving all of our single friends a plus one option. A lot of them weren’t dating anyone at the time so we really didn’t know who was going to show up! But actually most of our single friends opted not to bring anyone along. The few who did brought friends of theirs who we knew but not well enough for them to get their own invite. The one piece of advice I have is make it really clear to your bridal party what you expect from them if they get a plus one. My MOH and I had a misunderstanding about where she was staying the night before, who she was getting ready with, etc because I hadn’t made it clear what I expected/wanted from her. We worked it out but there were some tense moments about two weeks prior to the wedding because of it.
I am single, and I’ve also really enjoyed bringing my mom as a plus one to weddings of childhood friends. She genuinely enjoys the day, is fantastic dinner company, and doesn’t mind chilling at the table while I dance. It’s a nice way for her to see my friends she has known for over half my life tie the knot, when she may not have otherwise been invited.
As the last single person in two of my friend groups, I also feel very strongly about bringing a plus one if I’m given one. It is very uncomfortable to sit by myself at a table of married people (usually with a random bridal party date to round out the numbers), and even more so to be the awkward one swaying in the corner during slow dances. No one wants their friend to feel like a lonely odd sock. Bring a friend who can chat with, and try to choose one who matches your party style. Also try to choose one who is good with strangers if you don’t know a lot of people at the weddings. With this in mind, I probably wouldn’t bring one if you are in the wedding party, because you will be so busy!
I agree with probably not bringing anyone to the wedding you’re in the bridal party for, EXCEPT if the wedding is far enough from home that you are spending the night somewhere. Traveling alone can suck. Remember you’re also going to have to be early for the wedding. That’s a lot of time to have someone on their own. But if there’s a drive, and if it’s somewhere pretty or with other things that might make it worth someone’s while, then bringing someone could be nice. My wedding is going to be about a 4 hour drive from where a lot of our guests live. It’s going to be a pretty tiny wedding, but my best friend is single, and I would hate for her to drive up and be alone at a hotel and drive home all by herself. Because it will be such a small wedding, with just people we know really well, I’m going to talk to her about her bringing a family member. I know her family pretty well, and it won’t be weird if one of them is there, while someone I don’t know would really stand out when there’s only going to be like 30 people tops.