The offbeat bride: Caitlin, Optical Assistant (and OBT Member)
Her offbeat partner: Jos, IT Assistant
Location & date of wedding: Registry Office Norwich, followed by reception at the Doghouse Bar, Norwich, United Kingdom — April 15, 2010
What made our wedding offbeat: Ultimately, we did what seemed natural for us. As we paid for it all ourselves so we didn't have to meet anyones expectations. We did what felt right; and if that meant there were no formal speeches or first dances then so be it – we were more interested in everyone being comfortable and having a good time.
Our wedding was an awesome party featuring lots of purple and green, zombies, pirates and dinosaurs.
I wore a purple corset and skirt which I had custom made, Iron Fist zombie shoes and a green hat from etsy. Jos wore a vintage Tailcoat from the interwebs and a brocade waistcoat on sale. I carried an Origami bouquet. I was walked down the Aisle by my mother and my aunt; he had two best men.
We had a green and purple cake with skulls, and we had pansies in pots and origami flowers to decorate our venue, and we wrote our own vows. We made toasts with absinthe and served a buffet. Everything came to a very reasonable £3000, mainly because we had a lot of friends doing stuff for us at cost!
Tell us about the ceremony: The ceremony was in a registry office, which by UK law is quite restrictive in what you are and aren't allowed to do and say. However we did still put our own stamp on things. My ring words to him expressed a wish to make zombie survival plans, and his pleaded that I'd put up with his awful jokes. Other than that and my choices of music (Tori Amos, Emilie Autumn) it was a fairly standard UK Registry office.
Our biggest challenge: I was surprised how obstructionist people could be, over things I thought were fairly simple, obvious and non controversial, but things like, me choosing to wear purple often got me odd looks. I found that honestly, just ingoring them and blithely rambling on about how AWESOME that was, was the best way. To be honest I had a fairly easy time of it, I've always been known as ‘odd' and I think people expected something different.
My favorite moment: Seeing his soppy smile as I walked over that aisle. All the nervousness and clammy palms seemed to disappear in a moment of ‘yes'.
My funniest moment: Jos reading his vows off a bit of paper and me muttering ‘I learned mine' which because of acoustics was heard by everyone: people constantly telling us Mount Doom had erupted on our wedding and we were all doomed; Me attempting to go up and down stairs in my very tight skirt.
My advice for offbeat brides: Find out what venues can and can't do before you start planning – It's easy to get carried away with ‘and we can do this and this' and then realise that no, you can't.
Do your research among your friends – you'll be amazed how cheaply you can do things if friends want to trade services as wedding gifts – that's how we got our invites, our decorations and the bouquet.
Finally, I know it's hard, but don't get stressed, and remember why you're doing all this nonsense. Because you love each other, and what to spend the rest of your life together. Next to that, nothing matters.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? That I was surrounded by love and support, and all I ever needed to do was ask.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Dress: Kirsteen at Boom Boom Baby Boutique
- Hat: Bubbles and Frown at Etsy
- Bouquet and invites: made by friends.
- Photographer: Al Pulford
- Cake: Humble Cake
Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!
Comments on Caitlin & Jos chaotic gothic geek-chic wedding/party
You look great and I hope this was the best day of your life, until the next best day of your life comes along. Stay happy!
Well, it was certainly in the top ten!
So beautiful. When I got married (the last time, many years ago) I had a glorious purple sheath dress picked out. A couple family members pitched a fit, but I ignored them, then my aunt came to me and said it meant a lot to them if I would wear a “real” wedding dress and that she would pay for it. I caved. I look back and really wish I hadn’t. I looked ridiculous in that big Ivory ballgown, it didn’t suit me at ALL. Then I see your dress and go “awwwww”
You rocked it!
I have the same shoes for my wedding but they are in the falts version and are the limited edition purple ones!!!
I LOVE YOUR DRESS!!!!!! I am in heaven looking at this!!!
England still has pretty strict rules about where you can get married and the content of the ceremony. Thankfully up here in Scotland we have a lot more freedom. If you have a Humanist Society of Scotland Celebrant (as we are planning to) you can get wed anywhere you like (as long as it is “safe and dignified”) and it has full legal status.
You also have a lot more freedom with wording and ceremony.
More details can be found here
Great frock, by the way!
Since 2005 there’s a lot more options for places to get married in England. You can get married in any liscenced building, and any permenant structure can get a liscence. Although I still don’t understand why it’s nessesary it’s a big improvement over just churches and registy offices.
As far as I know the only limitations on the content of a civil ceremony are that it can’t include any mention of religion and there are a few things you legally have to say (like confirming your name and that you want to get married rather than being forced). But you can write your own vows including whatever you want (as this couple did).
Yay for purple-dressed brides. Our wedding isn’t for another week and a bit but I’ve lost count of the number of people who can’t fathom not wearing white!
You had me at purple and green! LOVE LOVE love love all of this! The zombies, the colors, the hat, the color of your hair, I could go on and on……
Oooooh….I am hearting me some Iron Fist Zombie Stompers right now 🙂 They are impecable with your drool-worthy purple dress and (GASP) bright green corset lacing!!!! GORGEOUS!!!!!
i have been IN LOVE with those iron fist shoes for months now. i’m so stoked she wore them to her wedding! i should break down and buy them…
Do it. They are surprisingly comfortable for suh high shoes- I took them off a couple of times but ultimately managed to celebrate for ten hours in them.
Emilie Autumn! Oh, how I love you!
And what a great execution of a cake that is fun without scandalizing the sensitive.
OMG! i squeed when i read this. Those are the exact shoes I wanted to where to my graduation but my mother pitched a fit 😛 I wanna be your friend. I love everything about this post. And EMILIE AUTUMN WOOT! WOOT!
See, if I’d finished my profile before your graduation you could have said ‘look mum, she wore them to her WEDDING’ And you might have got away with it.
I love your origami bouquet. Did you make it yourself? I’ve been folding dozens of lilies for my bouquet, and I hope it turns out as beautiful as yours.
I am not a crafty person, unfortunately- A family friend, Pippa made it for me, and it was lovely. She also made the origami water-lillies which we decorated the room with- some were made out of maps of our local area, which was a nice touch.
Oh my god, my wedding is in 3 weeks and our theme is purple and green as well! My dress is the same purple as yours and also custom made! But no zombies at ours-jealous! You both looked amazing, congrats! x
You look so beautiful! I’ve also got Iron Fist shoes for my wedding, and my dress is purple and blue.
Love purple and green.
I’m considering a colorful corset dress.
Over a year off, so I’ve time to think on it. 😉
Love the purple dress
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