Subdue the Planzilla: or why I need to stop trying to plan everything and love the engagement
I am a Planzilla. I love planning things. I love planning things way way way in advance. I could quite happily start planning for my wedding right now and get all the planning done by myself. But here’s where the problem lies…
How “all about the bride” is not about the bride at all
I knew going into wedding planning that there would be a lot of cooks in the kitchen, we knew there would be a few things where we just couldn’t compromise and would have to put our collective foot down. I offered, early on, to be the bad guy in these situations, since I could just say “I’m the bride, and this is what I want.” Turns out, no one cares if I’m the bride unless I want what “the bride” is supposed to want in their minds. “I” have been erased from the process. Let me give you some examples…
Queer femme hearts trans man: the legitimacy of love
Being fully, unapologetically ourselves comes with risks and can be both contentious and dangerous. We are violated, belittled, deprived of love, victimized, isolated and left wanting… both by larger systems and communities, and by people we thought we could trust. Amidst the pain or discomfort, we have to remember that there is hope.
I’m a fat bride
I want anything emblazoned with “bride” to be changed to “fat bride.” My identity as a fat woman is no secret, and I’m not ashamed of it. I bare my body with pride. However, not everyone feels the same way.