Your engagement should be a joyful time. You have a lifetime ahead of you with the person you love. What could be better than to celebrate that love surrounded by friends and family? And yet, somehow things go awry. Conflicts flare. And the time that should be so happy — the build-up to your wedding — is fraught with possibilities for strife.
The good news is you can avoid most of the problems by planning your wedding planning. That’s right. Plan how you’re going to plan.
I recently read an article addressing the psychology behind unsolicited advice. The article focused on a research paper titled “Advice Giving: A Subtle Pathway to Power,” which confirms what most of us have likely suspected: unsolicited advice more for the benefit of the adviser than the advisee. So how can you work with this to make unsolicited advice less irritating, and more helpful?
I come from a family of strict traditionalists when it comes to everything, especially weddings. I recently bought a peach wedding dress with no sleeves and expressed I wanted light blue hair and Converse to go with it. As you can imagine, things didn’t go over well. When I try to stand up for my wedding choices, I’m shamed for it.
We found out recently that one of our creepy old friends sexually assaulted someone. Needless to say, he is NOT invited to our wedding… any more. The problem here is that we sent our save-the-dates six weeks before we found out. How do we ensure that this predator doesn’t show up at our wedding? Do we have to explicitly tell him that he isn’t invited anymore, or do we casually “forget” to send out his invitation? What if he shows up anyway?
I am feeling overwhelmed, angry, sad, and just not looking forward to my wedding. It has been nothing but pulling teeth for me to get literally everyone to do their part. I have gotten our parents and my fiancé to understand that they need to do their part, but my bridesmaids have been twiddling their thumbs.
Have I not been stressing the importance of these little things? How do I tell people I want them more active and to do their job without being a bridezilla?
There are a number of wedding traditions that soon translate into serious expectations for family and the wedding party. Family members and the wedding party are expected to step up and donate time, energy, and most importantly–money, to help the new couple launch their lives together. Here’s how I de-stressed my wedding planning by changing my wedding party expectations…