Tori & Clayton’s 1920s “cat gangster,” pirate-y, guerilla wedding

The offbeat bride: Tori, aspiring photographer and small-time seamstress (and Tribe member)

Her offbeat partner: Clayton, Aspiring Writer and Musician

Location & date of wedding: In the park of the Palace of Fine Arts, San Francisco, CA — October 31, 2010

What made our wedding offbeat: Clay and I met on Halloween in San Francisco, and we are also really big costume nerds, so having our wedding on Halloween meant a whole lot to us. We got to wear costumes and be goofy and weird.

I let Clay set the theme for my dress. He wanted 1920s with pinstripe, and with the ears and tails to symbolize our new last name we had chosen together. I probably would have gone with something more steampunk personally, but I got to step in and actually design and make it. This was important to me, because that's a big part of who I am.

My mother helped on the dress but I did the corset, shrug, bouquet, and the headpeice/veil.

I was wearing rainbow leg warmers with my heels to keep warm. I ended up stepping in some mud and had to change into a pair of Clay's sneakers that I had in the trunk of the car!

My sister was the officiant. A majority of the family had requested to wear pirate outfits, which couldn't have thrilled me more.

My bouquet was not out of real flowers, and I certainly did not toss it — I took it apart to sell in bits and pieces to put money towards a honeymoon! (We want to go to Florida to the Harry Potter theme park!)

Oh, I also had a henna tattoo done by Clay on my inner wrist and a “ring” on a certain finger. I did Clay's tats on his back (unseen), inner wrist, and “ring.” It was really fun to do together and very personal.

Afterwords… we went to IHOP. It friggin rocked.

Tell us about your ceremony: We wrote our ceremony and vows ourselves. To be honest, without the vows the entire thing fit on a post-it note it — was so short. We each drew a half-circle (making a whole once we were done), then our officiant said about one sentence, and then we exchanged our vows (which consisted heavily of MANY geeky references including Fallout and LOTR), and then we kissed.

My funniest moment:
Tori's: I would have to say it was before the wedding when almost everyone was in our hotel room, and I was trying to get everyone ready. My uncle called and my brother answered, using an old line that my sister and I used to use, “Pimps, Hoes, and Hustlers — How may I help you?” He did it so flawlessly that we were all in stitches for about fifteen minutes.

Clay's: For me the funniest moments were just before the wedding and the reception. The safety pins holding my wife's tail in place kept opening up after sitting on them in the car, so when we got out she had to have me pin it back on. Suddenly there I was in the parking lot with Tori bent over the car, and my mom taking pictures of us in what looked like a *very* compromising position!

What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? If you are stressed or feeling overwhelmed or are making a lot of mistakes — put it down, walk away, take a hot bath/watch a movie that makes you laugh/cuddle your significant other/pet the cat/go out to eat — ANYTHING to make you relax for a few minutes. And no matter WHAT, when you come back you will be more efficient, it will be far easier, and it will not seem nearly as impossible. It's supposed to be FUN, or at least enjoyable. If it stops being so, then it's time to take a break. Many times during sewing the corsets and making hats did I have to remind myself of this.

My advice to other offbeat brides: Don't be afraid to try doing it yourself. Although some things were a disappointment crafts-wise, Clay and I did save a LOT of money because we looked up tutorials and simply did it ourselves.

Also, brides! Don't be afraid to try and get your man involved. We had more fun working together and having time with each other than anything else. It made everything a little easier and it certainly helped keep down stress and relationship tension.

The only other thing that I can think of is this: Don't be afraid to let it go. Stuff will happen — someone will lose a job, a car will break down, a pet will need to go to the vet because it ate all the chocolate body frosting that was open on the counter, it will rain and there will be mud and water everywhere… SOMETHING will happen and the only thing that we can do is “go with the flow.” But also remain bright and cheerful, because when all is done YOU WILL BE MARRIED and on a fantastic new adventure with another member to your party to help you face the dragons that get tossed at you!”

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• I made almost everything! Here's my Etsy shop: Mrs. Wolfe's Rustic Roses
• His suit was from AH Fashion
• We got our “cake toppers” of Anubis and Bastet from Coven Tree Old World Market

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!