People loooove to insert their opinions wherever possible, which is why I've come to hate the question: “How's the wedding planning going?” Because it's usually followed by someone totally shooting down my last planning decision.
But here's the deal: Wedding planning is stressful enough as it is. And if I listened to and implemented everyone else's advice, then I would be planning their wedding and not my fiancé's and mine.
I was recently reminded about this fact by Instagram…
I had two hair and makeup trials: the first was by a friend of a friend who did it for a bottle of wine; the second by a professional wedding stylist. Although the “friend” was a professional makeup artist, I just didn't end up liking her results. It was a nice gesture, but, ultimately, it wasn't the look I was going for.
The second trial delivered EXACTLY what I wanted. My hair looked amazing, and the stylist was a great listener.
I posted the two different results on Instagram, and was completely blown away by everyone's responses — they mostly preferred the first one.
Of course, I totally made myself vulnerable to interpretation by posting the photo to a social media site. But afterwards I followed my personal rule of “fuck what everyone else thinks.” Our wedding is not the People's Choice Awards. I hired the artist that made ME happy and that I loved the most. In the end, I made the choice that was right in my heart.
If you are seeking advice, and are finding you're getting a lot of pushback for your ideas/tastes/plans, here's my advice: keep your ideas to a limited number of people you trust and respect — such as your partner, a close family member like your mom, or your bridal party. Your loved ones know you the best and will (hopefully) support the things they may not understand, because that's what is going to make you and your partner happy when it comes to celebrating your union.
Comments on What I learned from Instagram: Wedding planning isn’t the People’s Choice Awards
Thanks- I needed this right now.
This is soooo true, are people giving advice or planning their wedding? My fiancee and I decided to tell people that we are not going to have a wedding, only the ceremony, and continued with the plans on our own, so they will just receive the invitation, this has made our lives so much easier, and the planning so much more fun!
Wow, that’s a crazy-awesome idea! I wouldn’t be able to hang onto that secret, lol, but it’s SUCH a good idea!!!
Once upon a time, people went to weddings with minimal knowledge as to how the event would transpire. There was no need to instagram, tweet, facebook everything from the engagement ring to the invitations to the decor before the wedding even occurred.
I think it is perfectly okay to be honest. If people want to know details outside of basics (like time, place, dress code,) say “It’s a surprise.” If people want to give advice, you could say, “We as a couple already decided we wanted to surprise out guests; hence if you suggest it, it’s not really a surprise.”
We have a joint pinterest that all of our wedding stuff goes on and then we have a few group boards with my personal one, but it’s nice because hardly anyone knows about our joint pinterest. I also think that having everyone see your wedding pinterest board is like a spoiler LOL . . . . I’ve been wanting to post our awesome invite, but feel like I should wait until they’re mailed (in case some follow that I’m not aware of)
Re: pinning your invitations- you could do what we did- pin a bunch of “decoy” invitations! This has the dual effect of preserving the surprise somewhat because they don’t know which you’ll choose, and probably some folks will just skip right over them if you pin a whole bunch of them at the same time. (Then you just have to deal with the opinions of people who like your decoys better, haha.)
Very much related post: How this bride is now entering wedding stealth mode on Pinterest
This is some great (and needed) perspective! I so did this when choosing my prom dress in high school. I really liked two, a red one and a teal one. I personally was leaning towards the red one. I liked the style better and it was such an awesome shade. But I showed pictures of both to a bunch of people and asked what one they liked better and almost unanimously they chose the teal one. I ended up getting that one because it had more votes, all except the one vote that mattered. MINE. Though I did end up liking the dress I got (and wore it for two Proms), I still look back and think about how awesome that red one would have been…
I will definitely be keeping this in mind for my wedding. Thank you for the reminder not to let others’ votes keep you from doing what you actually want to do!
I’ve been doing this lately. My bridal party but not bridal party at the same time (they’re my bridal party, but won’t be in the wedding because the fiancé had a falling out with his men) are so supportive and open to ideas, and if I have a rough idea of what I want, they help me sculpt it into perfection. My maid of honor is planning her wedding, too, so bouncing ideas off someone who understands most helps a ton!
This is the best advice I’ve read in a very long time, and something I will be keeping in my heart my whole wedding planning.
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