Sarah & Nathaniel’s “A Love For All Of Time and Space” wedding

The Offbeat Bride: Sarah, Dance Instructor (and Tribesmaid)

Her offbeat partner: Nathaniel, CTO and Computer Programmer

Date and location of wedding: The Abbey and The Mezz, a stage and reception venue, Orlando, Florida — October 12, 2013

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: My golden-hued dress and his vibrant blue suit were very important decisions since they made us feel amazing when we are rather-be-in-pajamas kind of people. We also had paper flowers, sci-fi-themed table numbers, and a photo booth to go with our “Doctor and River Song” journal guest books.

One of the best things was a gift that Nathan bought for my birthday: an audio file from Patrick Stewart! We had him record the announcement for our entrance to the reception (which was a MAJOR highlight for all the Trekkies in the room). From our self-written ceremony, to our light-up venue with a full-sized TARDIS, to our sci-fi music medley during dinner, we made sure that everything we spent time, energy, or money on was something that we really cared about.

Tell us about the ceremony:
Nathan and I wanted a ceremony that fit us, regardless of what was traditional. I did a lot of research and bounced a lot of ideas off of Nathan when trying to get to an end result that he was just as excited about as I was. I ended up giving the final script to our officiant, venue coordinator, harpist, and photographer so they had an idea of what we were (and were not) going to be doing.

We started with a ring-warming. The ceremony was accompanied by a wonderful harpist, who learned many theme-specific songs for us including “Rose's Theme” from Doctor Who, which was playing when Nathan and I walked down the aisle hand-in-hand. We asked our family to voice their support for each of us, with the Battlestar Galactica quote, “So say we all!”

Our vows focused on supporting each other in the changes life brings:

I, Sarah, take you, Nathan, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

Even if I had a problem with a vendor, or didn't get seating charts done yet, I could sit down and make progress in one small corner of the self-planned-self-made-wedding-world that encompassed my life.

A big detail for me, and not so much for anyone else, was the backdrop that I made by hand. I made the heart cascade out of over a thousand paper hearts I made with a paper punch, and taped onto fishing line and attached to a rope that hung the length of the stage.

It was a huge task that took dozens and dozens of hours to complete, but it was my sign of constant progress that helped me get through the planning process.

Even if I had a problem with a vendor, or didn't get seating charts done yet, I could sit down and make progress in one small corner of the self-planned-self-made-wedding-world that encompassed my life.

Our biggest challenge:
The biggest challenge was the choice to plan the event myself, which caused a lot of stress, on my relationship with my partner, and my relationships with my family. While I am not incredibly organized, I wanted complete control. Danger, Danger!

With nearly two years to plan, I thought that I was golden! I was overconfident with my three-ring binder and a dozen tabs for every category under the sun. Venue Contract? Under the Venue tab! Payment due in three months? On the Budget Calendar! And that worked well for quite some time.

However, the work started to take its toll as the wedding drew closer: my partner was working many extra hours (and I love and support his dedication), and all of my family and bridesmaids hundreds of miles away, I struggled with figuring out how to ask for and get help in a realistic way. Sometimes having someone go with me to a stressful meeting just wasn't an option.

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A week before the wedding, I collapsed on the couch, physically and emotionally exhausted, talking to my partner about how stranded I felt, surrounded by tasks that needed finishing, and a wedding culture that kept shoving pictures of brides surrounded by flocks of her support-females at me. I felt defeated. Worse, I felt defeated while I was surrounded by piles of papers that couldn't find their place in the ridiculously messy three-ring-binder that represented my lack of control of the planning process.

It turned around a few days later when family started arriving before the big day. Everyone that arrived was completely ready to help with anything and everything, giving up time they could have spent on the beach to sit with me writing escort cards. At one point I had a mother, father, aunt, cousin, uncle, mother-in-law, and father-in-law all at our house helping us pack boxes into the car and disassemble our TARDIS. I felt incredibly loved and supported, which ultimately made up for all of the stress I put myself under.

My favorite moment:
The most meaningful thing to me was all the guests who attended. I had anxiety dreams about various non-attended parties of my past (graduation party, you came back to haunt me!). On the day of the wedding, I was surrounded by 65 lovely people who came together to witness one of the best evenings of our lives. We had our two witnesses (a bridesmaid and groomsman) sign our marriage certificate on our backs, we had a photo of everyone that attended in front of the venue, and we had a room full of love and support when we walked down the aisle as a married couple.

Another really sweet moment was the father/daughter dance. My father is much more traditional that I, but he has always encouraged and accepted my unique view of the world. Even though we haven't lived within 1,000 miles of each other for nearly four years now, he still wanted to make our dance something super special. He really wanted to share my love of dance, and decided he was going to work hard to achieve that goal: the waltz. He took dance lessons with his wife for months up to the big day, and the night before the wedding we practiced in a hotel ballroom. He worked so hard to make those two minutes happen, and it turned out wonderfully!

What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
It's okay if you don't use all of your ideas. This was a hard one for me, and I'm sure for many others that are simultaneously wedding planning and using Pinterest. I had so many ideas! They were too much for me to handle given the time and resources I had — they would have been too much if I had Martha Stewart armed with Mary Poppin's magic bag! I had to come to terms with the thought that I was going to have a great, beautiful, awesome wedding even if I didn't get a Yoda mask for the photo booth in time, or twinkle lights on the ceiling, or a smart phone scavenger hunt personalized for the people we knew weren't going to be dancing.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Bride's dress: Ieie Dress Shop
• Groom's suit: ASOS
• Groom's socks and photo booth props: ThinkGeek
• Paper flowers for bouquets and boutonnieres: My Woolly Mammoth
• Bridesmaids' infinity bracelets: Etsy Jewelry Craft Studio
• Groom's ring: Jewelry By Johan

Florida Specific vendors:

• Officiant: Sensational Ceremonies
• Harpist: Orlando Harpist
• Photographer: Scott Trippler
• Cake: Cut the Cake Inc.
• Catering: Arthur's Catering

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!

About the Author: Offbeat Weditors

@offbeatbride @offbeatwed

Working tirelessly to bring you stimulating content day after day, the Offbeat Wed editors will not sleep until you've gotten your offbeat fix.