Posted byRemember that neat crossword puzzle cake we showed you a little while ago? Well, here's the cool couple that created it!
The offbeat bride: Katie, Echocardiographer
Her offbeat partner: Andy, Paramedic
Location & date of wedding: Hotel Donaldson, Fargo, North Dakota — September 6th, 2009
What made our wedding offbeat: We'd been together for the last five years, and neither of our parents held high hopes we'd make each other “honest.” Announcing our engagement and showing off the ring (a wicked cool Victorian engagement ring the Andy helped design for me) made both families a-twitter.
Both of our families are scattered throughout the country–we live in Georgia, but our parents are in California, North Dakota, Arizona, and Alabama. We wanted to do something that reflected us, our commitment and our singular idea of marriage. We wanted to have it in a location that was OUR choice.
Unfortunately, two weeks after Andy popped the question, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This made wedding planning much easier. It had to be in Fargo, North Dakota, and it would have to be soon. And any frill or elegance or tradition that couldn't fit – To damn bad. 
- We had e-vites, instead of paper invitations.
- We scrapped the attendants and had Deputies (we gave them deputy stars to wear).
- Our neighbors from Georgia flew up and were co-officiants for us.
- Our head Deputy made my bouquet and all associated flowers out of paper and watch parts. So badass.
- Our cake was a crossword puzzle that we made. To coincide we posted the “clues” in frames so everyone could see.
- Before the seven pm ceremony, we had a cocktail hour. Both the bride and groom hung out with guests, chatting and drinking.
Our biggest challenge: Our biggest physical challenge was that three weeks before the wedding, we had to change the event from a backyard wedding to somewhere else: in Fargo. Have I mentioned we live in Georgia? We scrambled for about six hours, and found the Hotel Donaldson in Fargo. It fit our needs, but it meant that we had to change the catering, the invitations, and reconstruct our budget.
The biggest emotional challenge was my father's decline. I worried he wouldn't be healthy enough to attend, and we worried that the weekend would end up being for a funeral instead of a wedding. But he was there, and was great! It was what he held on for. He passed two weeks to the day after the wedding. He was a superstar.
Andy: My favorite part was that the whole thing felt more like a well-appointed dinner party and not a wedding.
My advice for offbeat brides: It's easy to get wrapped up into getting what you want for your wedding. Sometimes it takes a catastrophe to show you what is really important. It was important to me to have my dad at my wedding, and to also give him a last hurrah.
One significant piece: we didn't want a videographer. It seemed like a ridiculous expense, but one of my friend's dad's flew out and video-ed the whole thing. He put together a DVD with music and wedding pictures within the week. Having that disc with my father laughing, talking and not in pain is the greatest gift I've received.
The wedding day is for you and your partner, true, but it's also for posterity. That's why the dress is expensive (even though mine wasn't. My Deputy rocks!).
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Venue: Hotel Donaldson, was our location for the wedding and reception. It had exceptional food, drink and service. I can't say enough about how great they are.
- Flowers: Kellie, my Head Deputy. She'll do it for you, too! She has put up a custom flower making page on etsy.
- Cake: Nichole's Fine Pastries in Fargo
- Dress: Dillard's, and sparkled up with Swarovski crystals that my Head Deputy and I bought at a bead shop, which she hand-sewed on. She also made my “tails” that are detachable.
- Suit: Andy's suit was a Hugo Boss–the most expensive single item for the wedding, but well worth it.
Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!
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Props on the Nichole’s cake – I used to work there! It’s great to see a ND wedding on here!
Question for Katie and Andy: It sounds like it really worked for you to have cocktails and snacks with the guests before the ceremony. Were you nervous at all? Were you able to be fully “present” with your guests even though the ceremony was still ahead?
My partner and I are considering doing this for our wedding next summer simply because the officiant we really want can’t come until later in the day. So on one hand I’m thinking it will be great to meet and mingle to have a more relaxed atmosphere before the ceremony and on the other hand I’m worried about being to nervous or anxious to really enjoy it. Thoughts?
Hi Rose!
I wasn’t nervous at all, because we had been together for 5 years (and lived together for 4 years). I was so completely ready to be married, which for me, was the only way to go. I mingled with every person there, which also cut down on the pressure of mingling during dinner. It meant that I got to chow down on the fabulous dinner the Hotel Donaldson served! I’d heard many stories where the bride doesn’t get to eat the meal she’d planned–I wasn’t about to let that happen to me.
Also, I had planned the morning ahead of time–a sit in the hot tub first thing in the morning, and I built in time to have a cup of tea and a snack around 3 pm before any guests even began arriving. I would have fallen asleep, but it would’ve wrinkled my tails.
As for the event, everyone thought our ceremony was unusual, but the fact that they got to drink throughout our ceremony seemed like a plus.
There is also the bonus of a smaller crowd. We had 37 people including the photographer, so there was less logistics to deal with. We took photos around town ahead of time also, which made us able to be very present with our guests.
And! I appointed my brother, Wade, to be the go-to with events that night. So if anything was going wrong, I didn’t want to hear about it. Wade was the one who coordinated with staff to make sure everything was working smoothly. (Anybody want a cowboy Wedding Planner?)
I hope that answers your questions.
Congratulations! Everything looks so thoughtful & creative…I’m especially in love with the cake and crossword flowers! So sorry to hear about your dad, but so glad he was able to attend your wedding.
What a beautiful wedding… this is what weddings are supposed to be about.
Reading about your wedding and about your father brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing and heavy way to put everything in perspective: how inconsequential it is to have the right dress, color scheme or first dance in comparison to making it happen in time for your dad to be there.
As a superficial aside, his suit and styling look fantastic, and compliments your dress beautifully.
HAHA! Yeah! I used to work with Jescia at Nichole’s, too! Lemme guess – Minda did your cake? She’s amazing. I miss that girl.
And the HoDo is a GREAT venue. As a native Fargoan, I’m so happy to see it featured here. It’s a great place to get married – lots of good restaurants/caterers and lots of city parks and historic buildings. 🙂 Congrats on a great wedding!
What a beautiful wedding, and an amazing story. I live one block from the HoDo, 4 from the Fargo Theater, less than a block from the mural. What a wonderful set of shots to celebrate my favorite place…downtown Fargo! You both look amazing. So sorry about your dad, I’m so happy for you that he got to be there. That’s wonderful.
Thank you so much for sharing your special day with us!
I am so sorry to hear about your dad passing away, and so totally in awe that you pulled everything together so quickly to make it a day that he could attend. That was very selfless of you. Congratulations to you both.
Also giving condolences for your dad.
Your bouquet is my favorite nonflower bouquet I’ve seen so far. Bookmarking!
I’m so sorry about your dad but I am very glad for you that he was there and you have joyful memories of him.
Your wedding was gorgeous, I adore your dress and the crossword geekery! Also, your bouquet is amazing. Congratulations and all the best for a happy life together!
I’m so happy for you and your family that your dad was there to celebrate your amazing wedding with you! I LOVE everything you said and the pictures are absolutely beautiful and filled with love. Thank you for sharing! 🙂
I was so excited to see a post from my former stomping grounds! I love for other people to see Fargo in a way they NEVER thought they would…the movie does nothing for Fargo. :-\ LOVE your bouquet and photos! Congrats and Sympathy as well.
Your wedding looks beautiful! I’m especially in love with your bouquet! I’m thinking of non-real flowers as well and these are soooo well put together! Did you have a pattern? How did you pull them off so nicely?
Thank you! I did not have a pattern. I watched a video on Etsy.com on how to make paper flowers, and attempted them myself (those became wall decor and centerpieces). Then I showed them to my friend Kellie, gave her a few knickknacks that I liked and wanted to include in my bouquet (including a black butterfly pin that is difficult to pick out in the pictures, and some random stickers), told her that the colors were black, white, and blue, and told her that I believed in her. She now has a page on Etsy.com and is willing to do the same for you. Her link is above at http://www.etsy.com/listing/31397641/paper-wedding-bouquet-custom-for-kjoy. She also made the corsages and boutanieres (however you spell it) for the family, and each one is represented on my bouquet as well. (My husband’s has watch parts for stamens, and so I have a flower that is the same. My mother had one with black feathers, and I have a matching one also). So how did I pull them off so nicely? I left it to a professional. 🙂
I love love love the paper flowers you used as decorations (Third from last photo on flickr slideshow.) How did you make them?
I *love* that attendants were called deputies…it sounds like a much bigger honor than a ‘maid’! Love that creativity!
I love this! Who did you use as your photographer? I’m having a downtown Fargo wedding in July.
Our photographer was a family friend named Rick Gion. At the time, he had kind of stopped doing wedding photography, but made an exception for us. I’m not sure if he is back in the wedding game or not. If you are very interested, I can contact him and see if he would be willing to do another wedding in Fargo.
Did you experience feelings of guilt while planning your wedding, knowing that your father was so sick? If so, how did you handle it? My dad was just diagnosed this morning and my guilt meter is already pegged because my wedding is just 47 days away. I feel like my focus needs to be on him, but we are in the final stretch of wedding planning and so much requires my attention. :0(