“Nerd things, what?” A joyfully whimsical fantasy mawwige

Offbeat partners: Heather (she/her) & Roger (he/him)
Date and location: 10/16/2021 at The Foundry on Broadway, Frankfort KY

Our Joyful Nerdy Whimsical Fantasy Mawwige wedding at a glance:

We met when Roger heard me talking about Magic the Gathering, slid down the table in front of me, and said “nerd things, what?”

A week later I got stuck at his house because of snow, and I never left. Our whole life together has been built around our love of nerdy stuff, so it only made sense for our wedding to be an explosion of nerd- our save the dates were Magic the Gathering cards, our RSVP cards were World of Warcraft quest boxes, and our invites were themed around several different fandoms we are part of.

Most of our relationship was filled with financial hardship (he proposed to me without a ring — my answer was “Well, duh!“), and we were engaged for 6 years, so the timing and location was determined by what and when we could afford the event we wanted without sacrificing the people we wanted to celebrate with.

I knew going into planning that an event for 150 people on a budget of $8k was going to be a challenge, but being a Plus Size bride on a budget was significantly more challenging than I expected. I tried shop after shop in the Cincinnati Bridal District with my MOH, but couldn't find a dress that fit me and was within budget. On a trip home, I decided to visit Carol's Bridal in Danville, KY so that my family could experience me trying on dresses… and found my dream dress that only needed adjustments to the hem!

Tell us about the Joyful Nerdy Whimsical Fantasy Mawwige ceremony:

My family and I are Christian, my husband agnostic, and we have a variety of faiths, sexuality, and gender identities among our friends and family, so it was important for us to find a balance that was Christian enough for my family, liberal enough for his family and our friends, and nerdy enough for the two of us, so we decided to have a friend's mom as our officiant.

Families were seated and the wedding party walked in to Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's “Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World,” and my uncle walked me down the aisle to For the Dancing and the Dreaming by Samantha Ballard.

The wedding party wore the color of their Hogwarts house with lilies made of book pages for the bouquet/boutonnieres. The rings were carried in on The Book of the Sith and the Jedi Path (mine a simple rose gold band, his a tinted tungsten with bourbon barrel and guitar string inlays).

My bouquet was artificial flowers- a sunflower for my grandfather who passed 2 weeks before the wedding, a poppy for my great grandfather who passed when I was 12, a blue spray for my grandfather who passed when I was 20, and a purple flower for my father who passed with I was three.

Our friend Liz graced the attendees with a beautiful reading of the Mawwage speech from the Princess Bride. Here is the outline of our Ceremony, see if you can catch all the nerdy references:

Officiant: Family and friends, the day has finally arrived! This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgment of the next chapter in their lives together. Roger and Heather have already loved each other through better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health- they have found the one their souls love (Solomon 3:4). Today, Heather and Roger make official, through the law of the land and in the presence of God, the vows they have already sealed upon their hearts (Solomon 8:6). The couple has chosen to write their own Vows, which they will share now.

Roger: Well then, here we are at last
Heather: Hello Sweetie
Heather: I promise to always stand with you, healing you through every dungeon- with or without dragons.
Roger: I promise to not pull aggro until you are ready, at least until the next time I forget.
Heather: I promise to always remind myself that your absurdity is one of the many reasons I fell in love with you
Roger: I promise to remind you that my absurdity is why you fell in love with me
Heather: I promise to never let you win, and to always be a humble and gracious winner
Roger: I promise to pretend like you can beat me, and that I believe you when you say humble and gracious
Heather: I promise to love, honor, and ob-take your thoughts into consideration.
Roger: I promise that the next two vows will be serious
Heather: I promise to put our team above all else
Roger: I promise that I will continue to learn from you and better myself in ways I never thought possible.
Heather: I promise to remain patient and kind, joyful in your success, slow to anger, and forgetful of your mistakes, so that this love will never fail.
Roger: I swear to do everything in my power to ensure our relationship is just as playful, ridiculous, and strange as it always has been for the rest of our lives.

Officiant: Roger, do you accept these terms and conditions?
Roger: I Do.
Officiant: Heather, do you accept these terms and conditions?
Heather: Well, duh
Officiant: [insert Officiant’s way of saying kiss the people]
Roger: I’ll make it a good one
Heather: You better

Officiant: With your commitment to each other solidified, I now pronounce you husband and wife, partners in crime.

Tell us about the Joyful Nerdy Whimsical Fantasy Mawwige reception:

My favorite food on the planet is chili, but that felt a bit too casual for my husband, so we leaned into the casual nature and had a chili cookoff, my grandmother won (we knew she would). We found a venue that had an industrial look that we liked so we didn't have to budget in much decor.

Guests signed an Elder Scroll as they entered. The tables were covered lace found at second hand shops, the centerpieces were hurricane vases from Dollar Tree with maps from video games we play mod-podged to them and fairy lights, and our favors were custom made dice.

My husband and I spent the year leading up to the wedding carefully curating a playlist on Spotify, including the guests picks of “what song will always make you dance.” Our first dance was “Collide” by Howie Day… the first song my husband sang to me, and the moment I knew I marry him. We also took time to dance to “Love is Strange” from Galavant because he didn't think I would actually do it. Roger shared a dance with his mom and grandmother to Your Song by Elton John.

My grandfather who was supposed to walk me down the aisle and share the father-daughter dance passed 2 weeks before the wedding, so I chose to skip the dance with my uncle- his presence was already missed enough, I don't think any of us could have handled that moment. After the dances, we cut our cake with Frostmourne and enjoyed the company of our friends and family. We had an afterparty at the hotel where our out of town guests were staying after the venue closed.

What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?

The biggest challenge was losing my grandfather, Poppy, 2 weeks before the wedding. The loss was devastating to everyone who knew him, and dealing with the stress of a wedding while trying to process my grief was one of the most challenging times of my life.

Regarding the wedding, don't hesitate to plan your day around yourself and your partner's needs. My husband, along with several guests deal with auto-immune issues, so even after Covid protocols had been cancelled, we chose to have our guests wear masks, and created a strategic seating chart that placed a barrier of vaccinated people between the unvaccinated and immunocompromised guests. Everyone was able to enjoy themselves and no one ended up being sick afterward.

I have a severe back issue, so I skipped the heels, kept the ceremony short and sweet, and most of the visiting was done while I was sitting and our guests came to speak to me from my seat. It is your day, and you deserve to enjoy it in the safest and most comfortable way you possibly can.

With careful budgeting, lots of DIY, and and determination, you can have an affordable wedding without sacrificing your dreams. It just may take a few extra years. It also allows you to put more money toward your honeymoon!

Lastly, your wedding is a celebration of you and your partner. Show your personality, your love, your joy, and toss the traditions that don't fit out the window.

Joyful Nerdy Whimsical Fantasy Mawwige vendors

The only vendors we used were Adam Padgett (aka @the_wedding_ninja) as our photographer, and Chessex Dice for the custom dice, but some cost saving details worth noting where people would normally use vendors:

• One of our bridesmaids was the spontaneous emcee for the evening, and she had so much fun that she started her own business: Open Tab Entertainment
• Throughout my life, I watched my mom and grandmother make wedding cakes as their gifts to friends who were getting married, so I put my mom through the cruel and unusual punishment of making the cake for me. While many may look at the staircase and fountain as outdated features of 90's cakes, my wedding would not have been complete without.
• As mentioned earlier, we had a chili cookoff, but my grandmother also made veggie trays and small appetizers. I made my own flowers and centerpieces.
• The Foundry on Broadway rental came with an AirBnB a few doors down from the venue for the bridal suite and event accommodations, the upstairs of an adjacent bar for the groom and co. to hang out before the ceremony, tables and chairs, and a built in sound system.

Yay, now show us the pictures!