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The offbeat groom: Chad, Third Grade Teacher
His offbeat partner: Matthew, IT School director
Date and location of wedding: Bucksteep Manor, Washington, MA — August 6, 2011
What made our wedding offbeat: First of all, we didn't have a bride! We didn't really have to worry about wedding traditions, so we created our own. A friend sang Michael Jackson's “Will You Be There” during our ceremony. We had activities scheduled the entire weekend, including Jazzercise! A friend did a dramatic reading of a Dolly Parton song. There was a lot going on.
We also served our guests pie instead of cake. And we did it ourselves!
We danced until 2:00 a.m. at the reception as well. We turned a traditional barn into a gigantic gay discotheque.
Tell us about the ceremony: Matt's childhood friend Alison created a beautiful ceremony, with a mix of both gay and Jewish. We signed a Ketubah, stood under a chuppah, and broke the glass. We left the ceremony dancing to Show Me Love by Robyn s (sung by our friend), another friend read We Two Boys Clinging” by Walt Whitman and my brother read the gay marriage ruling. It was a personal and meaningful ceremony. I was surprised at how touched I was by it.
Our biggest challenge: We have four divorced families, and we had to make sure that each family felt like a part of the process. We were very mindful about our seating arrangements and other wedding events throughout the weekend.
My favorite moment: This was our first chance to publicly declare our love for each other in a large group. Too often we are nervous to hold hands or kiss in the street, as the general public is not always so accommodating. It was great to have a space filled with accepting and loving friends and family.
My funniest moment: When we lost electricity in the tent. The wedding was on a mountain and it was pouring rain!
Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? Despite all of the divorced families, our parents all respected each other and acted wonderfully! However, it did mean that we had six toasts from the parents.
My advice for offbeat couples: It is really hard when you don't fit in a box. I got annoyed with filling out forms that said “bride” and “groom.” Or telling a stranger you are planning a wedding, and they ask about your fiancé and then you say it is he. I suggest taking everything with a grain of salt, and only do what makes you comfortable.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Relax and enjoy the day. Also if it's going to rain, be sure that you have other options planned. We didn't really have a rain plan with an outdoor ceremony. However, we had to quickly move the ceremony inside. This ended up being just fine since it was beautiful and cozy!
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Photography: Yaritza Colon
- Ketubah: Etsy seller JenniferRaichman
- Ties: Etsy seller PetalPetal
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“This was our first chance to publicly declare our love for each other in a large group. Too often we are nervous to hold hands or kiss in the street, as the general public is not always so accommodating. It was great to have a space filled with accepting and loving friends and family.”
And then my eyes watered.
I’ve been to gay weddings before (marriage equality has been recognized here for years) but for some reason or other, this post moved me to tears. I don’t know if it was the reading of the gay ruling, the part about being able to show affection or the love that these two men obviously feel for each other that did it, but wow. Beautiful. Congratulations gentlemen!
From the day I started talking to these guys, I knew their wedding day was going to be awesome! I am so honored that they chose me to help them capture it. It was so much fun and everyone of their friends and family were pitching in and helping out – their friends even coordinated a surprise group dance for them! It was so amazing to see the love that everyone there shared for eachother!
My lawd, there’s dust in my eyes. *sniffs* You both are such a cute couple and I love the rainbow flag picture. Congratulations!
I loooovvvee the plush groom and groom gummi bear topper! I actually love everything about this. It looks and sounds like you had an awesome time. And how wonderful that even though each of your parents have been divorced that everyone involved came together and put aside differences to focus on the two people they love most. Love. It.
Thank you everyone for your kind love! It was such an amazing weekend.
Here is a video flash mob from the wedding:
I generally hate flash mobs, but this was truly adorable. Congratulations!
I can only hope that as our society evolves ( hopefully in the right direction) that you will become more comfortable showing affection in public. Love is a beautiful thing, and no crappy attitude should rob you from expressing it! Congratulations to the both of you!
Also… I am all over that pie in lieu of cake thing!
You guys are amazing, and will be wonderful together. I’m glad you got to be yourselves in a crowd for a change, and just enjoy being who you are. Good luck for the future. 🙂
This was a great write up of your wedding. I appreciate your exuberance and enthusiasm. How wonderful that you have found the one to spend your lives with. I love that you are supported by your family and friends. Congratulations!
yay for offbeat grooms!!
Amazing and beautiful pictures! It’s wonderful to read about two men getting married- I don’t think we get to hear about it enough. I am inspired by all of your decorating as we’re also using tents. Congrats to you both!
you two are sreiously adorbs. much love.