The offbeat bride: Gena, Environmental Planner
Her offbeat partner: Anne, Art Teacher
Location & date of wedding: Heights Art Gallery in Houston, Texas,
What made our wedding offbeat: Well, for starters we are lesbians, which is not necessarily offbeat, but it certainly is in the State of Texas! After being together for 7 years, we decided that we wanted to celebrate our commitment with our friends and family.
Anne and I paid for the whole shebang, so we tried to save wherever possible. It was important to us for the wedding to celebrate our local neighborhood and be as environmentally conscious as possible. We found a beautiful art gallery less than a mile from our house in the quaint neighborhood in Houston called the Heights. This was the first wedding to be held in the art gallery, and the owners were more than happy to accommodate our every request.
We imagined a cocktail reception with plenty to drink and delicious food to eat. We chose one of our favorite local restaurants, Tafia that encourages folks to “eat where their food lives.”
One of Anne's co-workers is a member of a 3-piece jazz band, so we hired them to provide the music for the night. With good food, good music, good people surrounded by amazing art, we had just the mood and atmosphere we were hoping for.
We had several activities to entertain our guests. We had someone in charge of a photo guest book to capture a photo of every guest in attendance. We had markers set out on tables for our guests to write on the floor (the gallery is covered with writing and drawings from patrons).
Our biggest challenge: As is all too common in gay weddings, we had some family members that weren't supportive of our nuptials. Fortunately, we had plenty of supportive friends to make up for their absence. This did create a hiccup when we were trying to decide the walking down the aisle bit. Our compromise was for Anne and I to walk down the aisle hand in hand (it eliminated the need to have bouquets!) and have the parents that were there walk in behind us to show support. This way, one of us wasn't left parent-less.
We were on a pretty tight budget, but really wanted to stick to our vision for the event. One thing we were worried about was the expense of alcohol (our friends can drink!). Fortunately, our venue allowed us to bring in our own alcohol. And, Anne's brother was driving in from New Mexico, so we had him bring down a car-full of two buck chuck from Trader Joe's. That combined with beer and Italian soda from a wholesale shop here in Houston made it affordable…and we didn't have to compromise our vision.
We couldn't agree on whether or not we should have programs. We thought it was important to recognize folks who were key in our wedding, but also thought all that paper was wasteful. Our compromise was to print programs to incorporate into our centerpieces, so we only needed one per table.
My favorite moment: There are so many!
After getting dressed and getting everything/everyone organized to head out to the gallery, Anne and I were able to head out back in the courtyard to spend some time alone after a day of busy prepping and a night full of fun.
Anne and I wrote our own vows and hadn't shown them to each other ahead of time. The moment we were finally able to share them, in front of our family and friends, was one I will never forget.
Also, the number of guests that thanked us for what we had done. It was amazing to be in a gallery full of such love and support, in a state that is so against gay marriage.
The exit! Our friends created a sea full of bubbles for us to leave and celebrate our first night together as a married couple. We headed out to a bed and breakfast in our neighborhood where friends had arranged a special treat of chocolate covered strawberries and champagne to be waiting for us. We joined them all the next morning for brunch.
My offbeat advice: Don't be limited by anything! A perk of having a lesbian wedding in Texas is that there was really no tradition to follow, and no one expected us to.
Get to know your vendors. We really wanted our friends to be able to have fun and relax at our wedding, but we also didn't want a bunch of strangers ‘working' for us. We met our jazz band for dinner to talk about music and life. We spent an afternoon strolling through antique shops with our photographer, her husband and their daughter. Having these moments made our day even better when all of the elements combined. And, we made new friends in the process.
Be creative. Ask yourself if you really need to do some thing a certain way. It's difficult with all of these images of ‘traditional weddings' have been put in our heads through movies, media, books, etc. to really think outside of the box. I found wonderful ideas through Offbeat Bride and other blogs. People notice, remember and are inspired when you do things in a unique way far more often than when you just follow the same old process as everyone else who has gotten married before you.
Don't forget to talk to your partner. It's an event for the two of you and should reflect you both! Lots of conflict can be avoided if you are both included in the planning!
Vendor/Shopping links: I can't give enough props to our fantastic photographer, Tracy Chadwick. She was affordable, passionate and created the photographic memories we wanted. She photographs only in Houston, TX.
I loved our food! It was local, organic, fresh, and the caterers took care of EVERYTHING. I just had to taste it, pick it out and show up. They also recycled all of our waste for us! The catering was done through Tafia.
For anyone looking for a Houston venue, I highly recommend Gallery M Squared. The owners were there for us the whole night, and never said no to any of our ideas. They helped with decorations, and even let us tape an aisle on the gallery floor – it's still there. Not to mention the gallery was beautiful.
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:
I really enjoyed reading more about your terrific wedding (I'd read Sarah's post on $2000 wedding)!
-from a Texan who supports marriage equality
I think being the first wedding at the gallery and being able to permanently add to it via the runner and the floor graffiti is a really special thing – the spirit of your wedding will really remain in that place. Great job with everything, the two of you look gorgeous.
I ate at Tafia last month when I went to Houston, and it was off the hook. It was my favorite thing about Houston! Amazing!
This is beautiful- is there any way to see what is printed on your programs? One per table is a great idea to save on paper and cost!
so beautiful…thanks again for posting a same-sex wedding…
what a lovely couple and inspiring ceremony…wishing them years of love & wedded bliss!
Oh, I post LOTSA same sex weddings on OBB: http://offbeatwed.com/tag/lesbian-wedding
i love this wedding! lovely…
I love the part of having the supportive parents follow you down the aisle. Bravo!
seriously. love the venue. love the rings picture. love the beautiful brides. love it all. congrats!!!!
Your dresses are gorgeously perfect together and your wedding looks stylish, humble and fun. Congratulations!
Congratulations! I am thrilled to see that you had such a special event with supportive friends and family. Wishing you much luck and happiness 🙂
As a "I'm from Texas, what country are you from" girl who believes in equality and marriage rights – oh, you had me weepy at the happiness and love! Wonderful ideas, too! Thank you for sharing them. May many years bless your union in sweetness and light.
I'm all weepy! Congratulations!
you are both adorable, and your day looks like it was just beautiful. congratulations! <3
Thank you for all the sweet comments about our wedding! Anne and I are honeymooning in Ireland right now. Annie – when we get back, I can send you the text from our programs, and Anne can tell you how she put them together. kmichelle1019 – Our officiant was one of our good friends. She had a British accent, and we thought that would be a crowd pleaser. 🙂 We wrote the script, and let her ad lib as she wished. We also considered going with an officiant from the Unitarian Church. If you want to talk about this more, just send me an e-mail – I'd be glad to help in any way I can!
You two are fabulous. My partner (of 16 yrs.) and I are getting married in Canada in September. We are both from TX(we both bleed orange!) now in NC. I work in an art museum and she is a professor. Your story and both of you resonate with me. You had a beautiful wedding, you are both beautiful and thank you for posting this.
OMG Ladies,
Reading this is like spening the whole day with you both all over again. Congrats on this great Interview. Love you both.
OBB you KICK ASS.
Max and Michael
Gallery M Squared
while i am bisexual, i guess my upcoming wedding to a man would indicate hetero tendencies. but ive been scrolling through dozens of entries here on offbeatbride and i always stop to read the ones from lesbian couples. i would have to say your entry is exceptionally touching. you are such a wonderful, beautiful entity. many blessings!
The photo of you two and the bubbles is something that deserves to be printed in a HUGE portrait and hung on your wall, art gallery, etc. It’s beautiful.
What a beautiful couple! Your wedding looked phenomenal and maybe if everyone could see a union like yours they would understand that love is love, pure and simple. One look at your faces and any fool should see the pure, wholesome, beautiful love that binds you and that is something to be celebrated, not condemned.
You two are too gorgeous for words! Congratulations, you look so happy!
My partner and I are planning or wedding for next year. We were thinking to get married in a state that gives marriage equality. But if we go out of state no all our friends will be able to go to our wedding. I was looking for galleries to rent and I came across your wedding. Congratulations!!! Your wedding was beautiful and you look amazing together.
Fernando: my partner and I are having our ceremony in Orlando in June with all of our friends and family, then going up to DC to make it LEGAL. We were thinking of renewing our vows each year in a different LEGAL state…until it becomes a federal law!
CONGRATS on your wedding. It looked lovely and inspiring. Can you send me the details of your program as I’m getting married on a cruise in September.