Feeling down on yourself while trying on dresses? Seeing emails in your inbox about losing weight for the wedding or worse, hearing it from people you love? It's time to take back your self-worth and own your beauty. One of our favorite photographers, Sandrachile, masterminded and sent us a most jaw-dropping, fat-positive inspiration shoot that blew our collective minds. I may have (read: definitely) shed a few of tears looking at these stunning and fierce women looking back at us like a mirror.
I'm going to let Sandra tell us all about it because her words were powerful as hell. And when you're done and you've recovered, maybe pass it along to someone who might need to see it today…
@heygo_art“I, honestly, have thought about not doing a wedding at all because of my weight, and I don't even know why I care so much, but I feel so awful about myself that I don't want to do any of it…for fear of spending so much money and hating how I look anyway.. 😭”
That is a real message I received not too long ago from one of my brides. She was so overwhelmed with the task of finding a dress that she was calling off the wedding. Did you read that? She was boycotting her own wedding because of the wardrobe!
I have always been an advocate of ditching traditions, and a white wedding dress that is size constraining is worth ditching (Sorry not sorry). While some people might look great being wrapped in a white or pastel fabric, others (like myself) look better in other tones.
The idea of having a love party is to celebrate your love, and part of that celebration involves something that makes you look great, that is representative of who you are, and to be able to afford it. If the wedding outfit cost you an arm, a leg, half kidney, the blood of a virgin, and a year of rice crackers alone, DITCH IT!
It is time that women stand for their shape — that having more to grab is not perceived as a negative thing. It is time for the associates at bridal salons to stop saying sentences like, “its okay, you still have so many months to lose the weight.” It is time to wear something that makes us shine, something that empowers us, and that makes a statement of who we are and the message we sent.
So I invited a few friends to take part in a photoshoot around the basic yet radical concept that being yourself is good, that you don't need to change, that your significant other chose you for who you are, and the wedding is a party to celebrate exactly that!
So we used affordable skirts, statement graphic t-shirts, and recycled plastic materials for a hand bouquet and headpiece that gave garbage a glamorous new life.
But there is an extra detail: the same person who was frustrated and torn between tradition and body size expectations, tired of knocking doors at bridal salons that would tell her “sorry we don't carry your size,” and who inspired this photoshoot is, in fact, one of the participants.
To really drive it all home, here's a poem by one of the models, the gorgeous Ta’lor Pinkston…
Poem
By Ta’lor Pinkston
I love my big head!
I love my hair!
I love the shape and color of my eyes!
I love the dimples in my cheeks! (my mom tells me I got them from my grandmother…I never met her, but they make me feel like she is a part of me)
I love my big lips! (they’re just like my moms)
I love the gap in between my teeth!
I love my broad shoulders!
I love my short torso!
I love my stretch marks! (they remind me of my daughter)
I love my wide butt!
I love my thick thighs!
I love my chunky knees!
I love my flat feet! (they are just like my dads)
And what of these shirts in the shoot? They're all from Fat Mermaids, and the owner Jai Mobley says,
The shirts I make are made to inspire fat women, non-men, and femme-identified people to be empowered and confident in who they are as fat people.
I want people to wear their feelings and beliefs to tell the world through their fashion choices how they feel about the parts of them that they've had to hide or be quiet about forever. It's not easy living in a fat body and being constantly shushed. When you finally find your voice, shirts like these help you express it.
Fuck yes to this shot
About the style:
Every outfit was less than $200. The smallest skirt is US size 14/16, while the biggest skirt is US size 28/30.
Participants: Ta’lor, Kayla, and Jamie.
Catherine Clark loiters at her local library, makes art, watches movies en masse, plays video and tabletop games, poorly cooks healthy things, cuddles with her feline fur babies, and blogs at BijouxandBits.com.
Comments on Love has no size: a fat-positive inspiration shoot that may just change your life
You have no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you so, so much.
I’m usually super happy about my fat self, but this wedding has really put my body image through the wringer. And that’s with super supportive family & friends, who have never questioned my weight with regards to the wedding!
I’m having my first dress fitting in a couple of weeks, and now I feel so much better about it. I’m having my dress made by Wai Ching, and I half expected when I went down for measurements to have some kind of issue or comment about my weight – she was marvellous, and it was never an issue.
What a beautiful truth. Thank you for sharing and congratulations beautiful.
This post is exactly what I needed today. My wedding has actually been postponed because of my weight. My fiance said that he hesitated proposing because he knew the wedding would be stressful for me and why bother having it if I’m just going to hate how I look in pictures. We’ve been together for over 10 years now and he only recently proposed. This still weighs (no pun intended ha) heavily on my mind. Beautiful pictures and I love that bouquet, no many colors. You are so right about bringing in other colors. I might have to start looking again at red dresses. Or purple!
Purple and red are colours of royalty – I say wear them and channel your inner Queen <3
It was truly amazing to be a part of this shoot. I am so honored and thankful to Sandra for asking me to participate. I am a plus-size woman but have always struggled to fit in because I am considered “too small” for plussize but “too big” for juniors. I struggle to get hired as a plussize model because of my body type but doing a photoshoot like this reminded me that we all have a place in this #fatpositive community. No matter your shape or size, we are all beautiful, and I pray that all of you see and feel the love from this editorial. Thank you.
Thanks so much for doing the shoot! You all looked gorgeous, and it was so beautiful on so many different levels. <3
WoW! Thank you so much for your love and support. #BOPO ALL DAY EVERYDAY!
In my view, very few brides look good wrapped in yards of white fabric, but they all look the same unless you take a magnifying glass to the details of the dress.
Not long ago, I received an email from another, more mainstream wedding website I’d signed up to. It was an advert for one of their “partner companies”: a cosmetic surgery group, offering to help me choose “the best liposuction for you and your body”. It seemed to be just assumed that *some* kind of liposuction would be the best option for me, a bride-to-be, and my pre-wedding body… because nothing says “romance” like unnecessary medical procedures, I guess?
So, thank you for this much healthier, very welcome take on bridal fatness. It’s refreshing and heartening, and I hope to see more like this.
Ew, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that grossness! The cosmetic surgery bridal marketing is something we’ve written about before, that never ceases to ick me out:
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You have no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you so, so much.
I’m usually super happy about my fat self, but this wedding has really put my body image through the wringer. And that’s with super supportive family & friends, who have never questioned my weight with regards to the wedding!
I’m having my first dress fitting in a couple of weeks, and now I feel so much better about it. I’m having my dress made by Wai Ching, and I half expected when I went down for measurements to have some kind of issue or comment about my weight – she was marvellous, and it was never an issue.
What a beautiful truth. Thank you for sharing and congratulations beautiful.
This post is exactly what I needed today. My wedding has actually been postponed because of my weight. My fiance said that he hesitated proposing because he knew the wedding would be stressful for me and why bother having it if I’m just going to hate how I look in pictures. We’ve been together for over 10 years now and he only recently proposed. This still weighs (no pun intended ha) heavily on my mind. Beautiful pictures and I love that bouquet, no many colors. You are so right about bringing in other colors. I might have to start looking again at red dresses. Or purple!
Purple and red are colours of royalty – I say wear them and channel your inner Queen <3
It was truly amazing to be a part of this shoot. I am so honored and thankful to Sandra for asking me to participate. I am a plus-size woman but have always struggled to fit in because I am considered “too small” for plussize but “too big” for juniors. I struggle to get hired as a plussize model because of my body type but doing a photoshoot like this reminded me that we all have a place in this #fatpositive community. No matter your shape or size, we are all beautiful, and I pray that all of you see and feel the love from this editorial. Thank you.
Thanks so much for doing the shoot! You all looked gorgeous, and it was so beautiful on so many different levels. <3
WoW! Thank you so much for your love and support. #BOPO ALL DAY EVERYDAY!
In my view, very few brides look good wrapped in yards of white fabric, but they all look the same unless you take a magnifying glass to the details of the dress.
Not long ago, I received an email from another, more mainstream wedding website I’d signed up to. It was an advert for one of their “partner companies”: a cosmetic surgery group, offering to help me choose “the best liposuction for you and your body”. It seemed to be just assumed that *some* kind of liposuction would be the best option for me, a bride-to-be, and my pre-wedding body… because nothing says “romance” like unnecessary medical procedures, I guess?
So, thank you for this much healthier, very welcome take on bridal fatness. It’s refreshing and heartening, and I hope to see more like this.
Ew, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that grossness! The cosmetic surgery bridal marketing is something we’ve written about before, that never ceases to ick me out:
https://offbeatwed.com/dear-bridal-industry/
https://offbeatwed.com/wic-bridal-shows/