How being a bridesmaid taught me to embrace my inner fancy bitch

Guest post by Odd Job Sally

03When I got married two years ago, budget budget budget was the focus of the day. We had a fantastic wedding for under $4000. This meant forgoing a big expensive dress, keeping costs low on the honeymoon, having a lunch instead of a dinner wedding. Lots of little changes from the “standard” protocol.

I ended up wearing a dress that made me feel special, was in my budget, and that I felt comfortable in. It wasn't the dress I had in my head, nor was it a dress I even tried on before buying online — I settled for a dress that fit my criteria and ended up being beautiful on the day. I re-wore shoes I already owned, did my own make up and nails, and was gifted a necklace. Simple, elegant, within my budget. Looking back on my wedding, I have no regrets and didn't miss wedding planning afterwards.

But then I got invited to be a bridesmaid for my little sister…

She (like me) doesn't want a stressful “frou frou” wedding. She wants a big, fun party where the bridesmaid wear matching colours and the bride is in converse and a tiara. She has given the bridesmaids free rein (within a colour scheme) to pick their own dresses, and shoes, and whatever. No detail-oriented bride here — she just wants a little bit of colour matching.

Upon hearing that I could choose my own dress and shoes, something deep deep within me that had been suffocated since my own wedding has reared its head. Dress lust. Shoe lust. Accessory lust. Make-up, hair and general fancy shit lust. I want that because OMG it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I DON'T CARE how much it costs.

Where did this fancy bitch come from? I can tell you where. This is the “last chance for fancy shit” version of me. You see, I have been avoiding clothing extravagance since forever. High school formals were always sale dresses and friends doing each others' hair. I skipped my actual prom and wore a friend's dress to someone else's prom. Wedding, well, that was a sensibly budgeted thing as well.

Now, I am getting close to thirty, and most of my friends and family are married. I just had a baby a year ago and feel great about my body again. I realize that my “looking smoking hot in some fancy shit” days aren't “numbered” per se… but that my opportunities for them will slowly become fewer and fewer. And dammit, I want some pictures for my little girl of her mom looking smoking hot with some bling.

I can honestly say I am more excited shopping for this bridesmaid dress than I was for my wedding dress. I am letting go of my budget and finding a dress I might wear only once, that I love, and that will make my sister happy.

My little sister is busy stressing about budgets, alterations and deadlines. This time around I am saying “hell no” to all of that. I am going to enjoy spending some hard earned cash on shoes, make up, accessories, and a beautiful dress.

While I don't regret NOT doing that for my wedding, I am going to go out on a limb and give the rest of you permission to do so. Because you only have so many chances to look like a fancy-assed-bitch.

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Comments on How being a bridesmaid taught me to embrace my inner fancy bitch

  1. I absolutely, completely and totally love this. 🙂 Everyone deserves to be a smoking hot, fancy bitch occasionally. I tend to forget that.

  2. I freakin love this whole thing. I needed this – as I shop for my dress and try to avoid ones I love that may be juuuuust over budget. I deserve to be a fancy bitch – as long as I can still pay rent and feed myself. 🙂

  3. This is why I’m planning my wedding 5 years out, so that I have TIME to make that fancy ass bitchin’ dress of my dreams!! Hell Yeah Fancy Bitch!

  4. This is exactly how I feel about my wedding. My first wedding was super low budget and honestly, I was disappointed with it. it was all about how cheap things could be and not about anything to make it a notable event. Granted , the relationship was all wrong, so that didn’t improve matters. I’ve decided that this time I’ll allow myself to have nice things. I’m normally super cheap and I deserve nice things now and then, damnit.

  5. Thank you! I am stressing over the budget blow out right now. the reason for the blow out – clothes. Bride and Groom, groomsmen and bridesmaids. The wedding party are our adult/teenage children – so who pays for their outfits? Mum and Dad of course. I tried to tone down my dress to get the budget back on track, but felt very cheated.
    You are so right, I deserve to be frickin fabulous and if it costs a bit to make this 40something girl look great, so be it! Hair and Make-up is back on the agenda.

  6. I love this! I’m currently wedding dress shopping and having ‘fancy shit’ issues. I tend to splurge massively only on sensible things, like a car, or big-but-totally-justifiable things, like visiting my best friend on the other side of the Atlantic ‘cos I’ve not seen her in three years. So spending a lot on a wedding dress seems wrong. But as the OP said… You only get so many chances to look really awesome and dress up, and my Mum seems to agree as she is persuading me to go for a truly beautiful awesome dress that I would never normally wear or spend that much money on… But it is a wedding, after all! So perhaps I’ll go and try it on again and see… 🙂

  7. Hell yeah! How many chances in our lifetime do we get to don a fancy dress, anyway? I didn’t go to prom, I’ve never attended a fancy event in my adult life. I’ve never even worn a full length dress(imagine my surprise when dresses “didn’t just fit” my 5’8 frame, like say a tea length did) so GO FOR IT! Fancy yourself up.

  8. Sorry when does either your “days of being smokin’ hot”, or occasions for this to happen become numbered because you are approaching 30?!

  9. I’m sorry I have to disagree a little. I’m 44, and intend to look smokin’ hot on a regular basis until I die!!! You don’t have to spend a fortune to do so 🙂 looking and feeling gorgeous is mostly about letting your inner Goddess shine through and not let other people or outside influences diminish her. It’s very little to do with clothing/accessories etc or how much they cost.

  10. Hear hear, Rachel. That part about age and not being smoking hot anymore really bothers me. As a recent bride of 40, I’m just as smoking hot (if not more so) than in my 30s, and have infinitely more opportunities to express said hotness

  11. Yes. Oh, yes. Absolutely.

    I own, count them, five shirts and two pairs of pants for work. The rest of my wardrobe is jeans, lounge pants and about 100 graphic tees.

    So as little as I usually care about my wardrobe, for those few times that I get to, I will be a fancy ass bitch. I LOVE my Disney princesses, and I don’t give a rats ass if the WIC infected me from birth with brightly coloured, animated, talking animal, sing-songy unreality to want the big poofy princess dress and the prince charming wedding. I still watch Cinderella and drool over her ball gown, and sing along, even though that is one of the most useless, old fashioned, naïve, impractical, unrealistic, historically inaccurate stories in existence.

    So, I will most definitely be the custom purple, black and white poofy tulle dress wearing princess with the spider web lace wrap and striped mini top hat marrying my Beetlejuice suit wearing FH at my Hallowedding with guests in costume and I will be the fucking pretty princess star of the day. My outfit will cause ooohs and aaahs and that is just the way it will be. Thank you, Disney (and Tim Burton), for corrupting my mind from childhood! It’s going to be a wicked day!

  12. Don’t write off the alterations! An experienced seamstress can make a dress fit you body perfectly. Perfect fit= smokin’hot (at any age, not just before 30!)

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