When I got married two years ago, budget budget budget was the focus of the day. We had a fantastic wedding for under $4000. This meant forgoing a big expensive dress, keeping costs low on the honeymoon, having a lunch instead of a dinner wedding. Lots of little changes from the “standard” protocol.
I ended up wearing a dress that made me feel special, was in my budget, and that I felt comfortable in. It wasn't the dress I had in my head, nor was it a dress I even tried on before buying online — I settled for a dress that fit my criteria and ended up being beautiful on the day. I re-wore shoes I already owned, did my own make up and nails, and was gifted a necklace. Simple, elegant, within my budget. Looking back on my wedding, I have no regrets and didn't miss wedding planning afterwards.
But then I got invited to be a bridesmaid for my little sister…
She (like me) doesn't want a stressful “frou frou” wedding. She wants a big, fun party where the bridesmaid wear matching colours and the bride is in converse and a tiara. She has given the bridesmaids free rein (within a colour scheme) to pick their own dresses, and shoes, and whatever. No detail-oriented bride here — she just wants a little bit of colour matching.
Upon hearing that I could choose my own dress and shoes, something deep deep within me that had been suffocated since my own wedding has reared its head. Dress lust. Shoe lust. Accessory lust. Make-up, hair and general fancy shit lust. I want that because OMG it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I DON'T CARE how much it costs.
Where did this fancy bitch come from? I can tell you where. This is the “last chance for fancy shit” version of me. You see, I have been avoiding clothing extravagance since forever. High school formals were always sale dresses and friends doing each others' hair. I skipped my actual prom and wore a friend's dress to someone else's prom. Wedding, well, that was a sensibly budgeted thing as well.
Now, I am getting close to thirty, and most of my friends and family are married. I just had a baby a year ago and feel great about my body again. I realize that my “looking smoking hot in some fancy shit” days aren't “numbered” per se… but that my opportunities for them will slowly become fewer and fewer. And dammit, I want some pictures for my little girl of her mom looking smoking hot with some bling.
I can honestly say I am more excited shopping for this bridesmaid dress than I was for my wedding dress. I am letting go of my budget and finding a dress I might wear only once, that I love, and that will make my sister happy.
My little sister is busy stressing about budgets, alterations and deadlines. This time around I am saying “hell no” to all of that. I am going to enjoy spending some hard earned cash on shoes, make up, accessories, and a beautiful dress.
While I don't regret NOT doing that for my wedding, I am going to go out on a limb and give the rest of you permission to do so. Because you only have so many chances to look like a fancy-assed-bitch.