Are you writing your own vows? Does one partner kick ass at putting your love into words, while the other partner is twisting in the wind? You can go the route of Anne (of wedding unicorn fame) who set up Mad Libs vows and used them in a couple genius ways. So why don't you VERB this NOUN post ASAP…

I wanted to write my own vows, and my partner Tim didn't. Here's how we handled it.

First, I wrote my vows:

Tim, on our first date we took a long walk around Prospect Park and I explained to you why you and I would never, ever work out.

Yet for the next few months, even though I insisted that we were not in a relationship and you were not my boyfriend, you stuck around… and one chilly night in a hot tub in a box truck in a warehouse deep in Sunset Park, I gave in and admitted that I loved you.

And then everything got awesome.

Tim, you realized before I did that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are my life partner and partner in crime, my number-one squirrel dance-off buddy and future father of my children. You're the jelly on my bread and the French on my toast, the DJ Unicornocopia at the end of my rainbow, and the First Lady of Gnome Camp.

And I vow to always try and be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

I vow to love you as you deserve to be loved: with admiration, adoration, passion, pragmatism and respect, and to treat you like the man that you are, even when you're wearing spandex hot pants and a sailor hat.

I vow to support your interests and nourish your passions: from hockey to hot tubs to home-brewed sake, up to and including Japanese archery and glowing Santa suits.

I vow to remain loyal to you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I vow to take you seriously when you need to be taken seriously, and to laugh with you the rest of the time: because everything is funnier with you by my side.

I vow to take care of you when you are injured, ill or upset, or just when you forget to take care of yourself. Which reminds me, did you remember to put on sunscreen and drink water today?

I vow to create a household and raise children with you as partners and as equals, sharing the burdens and the joys of being parents to little Elegance and Ellegance Heckermacher, to Gus and Alexis, and of course to our poor baby.

I vow to soak in your hot tubs, dance to your DJ sets and laugh at all of your jokes – even the ones that make me groan.

I vow to remain your partner in crime, creating adventure from boredom, hatching plans and dreaming up schemes that will either make our lives better or give us a great story to tell.

And I vow to remain by your side as we grow old, to decorate your walker with blinkies, clean the drool off your faux fur vest, and dance with you to those old-timey breakbeats at the Old Folks' Rave.

Tim, you are not only the love of my life but also the Vice President of Awesome, East Coast Division, and that is not something to be taken lightly. I will uphold my duties as Mrs. Vice President of Awesome and then some. I love you with all my heart, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Then, I gave this to my partner Tim to use as a template:

[ANNA], on our first date we [ACTIVITY WE PERFORMED ON OUR FIRST DATE] and I felt [ACCOMPANYING EMOTION].

Over the next few months, we [RELEVANT ACTIVITY(S) FROM OUR EARLY DATING LIFE] and I realized [WHATEVER YOU REALIZED AFTER DATING ME FOR A WHILE].

And then everything got awesome.

You are my [SERIOUS THING] and [SILLY THING], my number-one [VERY SILLY THING] and future [THING THAT IS EITHER SILLY OR SERIOUS], the [SAY MANY MORE THINGS HERE ABOUT WHAT I AM TO YOU, MOST OF WHICH CAN BE SILLY, BUT SOME OF WHICH CAN BE SERIOUS TOO].

And I vow, going into our lives together as man and wife, to be [WILD CARD — THROW WHATEVER YOU WANT IN HERE, OR LEAVE THIS LINE OUT ENTIRELY].

I vow to love you as you deserve to be loved: with admiration, adoration, passion, pragmatism and respect, and to treat you like the [WOMAN] that you are, even when you're [PERFORMING UNWOMANLY ACTIVITY].

I vow to support your interests and nourish your passions: from [ANNA INTEREST OR PASSION #1], to [ANNA INTEREST OR PASSION #2], to [ANNA INTEREST OR PASSION #3], up to and including [TRULY OUTRAGEOUS ANNA INTEREST OR PASSION] and [OTHER TRULY OUTRAGEOUS ANNA INTEREST OR PASSION].

I vow to remain loyal to you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I vow to take you seriously when you need to be taken seriously, and to laugh with you the rest of the time: because [REASON IT MAKES SENSE FOR US TO SPEND MORE TIME BEING SILLY THAN SERIOUS].

I vow to take care of you when you are [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #1], [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #2], or [STATE THAT WOULD REQUIRE CARETAKING #3], or just when you forget to take care of yourself. [SAY SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT ME NEEDING YOU TO TAKE CARE OF ME HERE. TORN ACL JOKES ARE ACCEPTABLE.]

I vow to create a household and raise children with you as partners and as equals, and [SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT OUR FUTURE FAMILY].

I vow to [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], and [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB] — even the ones that are [ADJECTIVE].

I vow to remain your [WHATEVER YOU WANT TO REMAIN TO ME], creating [GOOD NOUN] from [OPPOSITE, BAD NOUN], [VERB-ending-in-ING] [PLURAL NOUN] and [VERB-ending-in-ING] [PLURAL NOUN] that will make our lives [ADJECTIVE] or at least [OTHER ADJECTIVE].

And I vow to remain by your side as we grow old, to [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #1], [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #2], and [OLD FOLKS ACTIVITY #3].

[ANNA], you are not only [ADJECTIVE OR NOUN DESCRIBING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME] but also [EVEN MORE AWESOME ADJECTIVE OR NOUN DESCRIBING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME], and that is not something to be taken lightly. I love you [OPTIONAL QUANTITATIVE MEASURE OF LOVE], and I can't wait to [THING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO WITH ME, KEEP IT CLEAN BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SAYING THIS IN FRONT OF OUR FAMILIES].

Which gave me the idea to create Mad Libs wedding vows for our guests:

On page 10 or so of our program, there were types of words and instructions, then full vows with blank spaces for them to fill in when they opened our favor bags at dinner…

[PERSON'S NAME], on our first date we took a long [VERB] around [PLACE] and I explained to you why [FAMOUS PERSON] would never, ever [VERB].

Over the next few months we [PAST-TENSE VERB], and one [ADJECTIVE DESCRIBING TEMPERATURE] night in a [TYPE OF VEHICLE] I said, [EXCLAMATION].

And then everything got awesome.

[PERSON'S NAME], you realized before I did that you're [ADJECTIVE]. You are my [ANIMAL] and my [TYPE OF TOOL], my number-one [PROFESSION] and the future [NOUN] of my children.

And I vow, going into our lives together as man and wife, to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

I vow to [VERB] you as you deserve to be [PAST-TENSE VERB], and to treat you like the [ANIMAL] that you are, even when you're wearing [ARTICLE OF CLOTHING] and a sailor hat.

I vow to support your interests and nourish your passions: from [ACTIVITY] to [PIECE OF FURNITURE], to [TYPE OF FOOD], up to and including [ETHNICITY] [SPORT] and glowing [FICTIONAL CHARACTER] suits.

I vow to take you [ADVERB] when you need to be taken seriously, and to laugh with you the rest of the time: because [ABSTRACT CONCEPT] is funnier with you by my side.

I vow to VERB you when you are injured, ill or upset, or just when you forget to VERB yourself. Which reminds me, did you remember to put on [NOUN] and drink [BEVERAGE] today?

I vow to create a household and raise [ANIMALS] with you as [PLURAL NOUNS] and as equals, sharing the burdens and the [ABSTRACT CONCEPT] of being a family.

I vow to [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB], and [VERB] every [NOUN] you [VERB] — even the ones that are [ADJECTIVE].

And I vow to remain by your side as we grow [ADJECTIVE], to decorate your walker with blinkies, clean the drool off your [COLOR] [ARTICLE OF CLOTHING] and dance with you to those old-timey [TYPE OF MUSIC] at the Old Folks' [TYPE OF PARTY].

If anyone was bored at my wedding, I will smack them.

Tips if you want to steal this:

1. Keep the intro about how you met and why you love each other and stuff pretty short and general, ie “on our first date we ______ and I felt ____.”
2. For the vow part, start general and go specific, like say “I support your interests and passions” and then list them.
3. Leave a few wild cards in there for your partner to personalize.
4. For your guests, have fun with the fill-in-the-blanks part: instead of just “noun” or “adjective,” get a little more specific in parts where it would be funny. Like animals, types of tools, places, colors. Always pick a couple of each word type and try throwing it in there yourself to see if it makes sense.
5. For the guest vows, I found it easier to work off of my actual vows than the template I made for Tim.
6. If you don't want everyone knowing your vows before you say them, just put a word list in the program and the actual vows in the favor bags (or something else they'll find later in the day). Or just put the whole thing in your favor bags or on tables, since I bet not everyone has a twelve-page program.

See more photos from Tim & Anna's wedding

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Guest Post By: Anna Schumacher

I'm a writer who lives in Brooklyn with her husband Tim and their two cats. I love good books, hula hoops, glitter, house music, cooking and eating awesome food, specialty cocktails, sweaty dance parties, making and wearing ridiculous costumes, participatory art, long lists, terrible puns and breaking rules.