My partner and I are an “old married couple” now — having been married since 2012, we are officially past the three years wedding anniversary mark. You may remember us from our barn wedding featured back in 2012! So why are we talking about our wedding now?
When I mentioned recently online that we had a wedding under $5k, it generated some great conversation about how we pulled that off…
You would think that with all that planning, there's some talk between the couple about how much it's going cost. But, according to a 2014 study, almost a quarter of couples getting married didn't have a budget or overarching financial plan for their wedding.
How many of us have gone on a run to the store, to pick up a “few things” only to be shocked when we reach the checkout that our few things are not under $20 like we planned, and are actually over $50? Imagine the same feeling, but on a much grander scale. In fact, according the same study, even couples that had budgets, almost half (43%) went over-budget. If most of us at work went over-budget 43% of the time, just imagine where we would be. Fired, most likely.
So what to do about this out of control wedding spending? There are concrete (and fairly easy ways) to keep your costs low. While they may not be for everyone, I have faith in my offbeat folk, and it can really make a big difference financially in the long run!
1. Cut the guest list
Guest list rules to help you keep your wedding small
Trying to keep your wedding small? What rules do you establish to figure out whether certain guests will make the cut?
This is a toughie but a biggie if you want to keep your wedding under $5k. Coming from a large family, our guest list could have been well over 200 people without even trying. For many people who don't enjoy being the center of attention, that number of people can sound really overwhelming (and expensive!). We limited our list to immediate and close family, our godparents, and our dearest friends.
I will totally admit that feelings were hurt. Overall though, no one brought this to our attention or made us feel guilty about not inviting people (well maybe one thinly veiled attempt at teasing about not being invited, but oh well!). We tried to explain why we needed to keep the guest list low and overall, people respected that.
It was much easier to keep our guest list to 50 people, than it would have been to have 100. If you are keeping things very small, it helps take away some of that pressure about which extended family members to invite.
2. Choose an alternative venue
15 surprising alternative wedding venues
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There are so many cool places that are not “typical” wedding venues. As a result, they don't have those typical wedding prices, and may be waaaay more accommodating than the average hotel or country club. We used a local barn that accommodated all of our guests, and had additional historical and farm items that we could use. They even supplied the hay bales for our guests to use as seating, which was another cost saver.
Other friends have done rental through the county parks systems — there are some great venues. Local, small museums or theatres often have rentals or events that are much lower than the larger venues.
3. Choose an alternative time
We also got married on a Sunday, which meant our catering costs and venue prices were much lower. We also got married at noon, so we had a large brunch to follow with mimosas, bloody marys, and all the breakfast food you could eat!
3. BYOB
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If your venues allows you to choose your own caterer or food options, this can be a major way to save some green. The biggest savings for us was bringing in our own alcohol. Beer, cases of champagne, and vodka for bloody mary's stretches a lot farther when you are ordering cases from a liquor store, as opposed to from a bar/venue.
4. DIY, y'all
If you (or your friends) have DIY skills, try to to use them. We made/upcycled a lot of items (boutonnieres, centerpieces, signs) but it took an army to get it done in time. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Upcycled doesn't end up looking as cookie cutter as purchased items though, so be prepared to let go and go with the flow if your DIYed signs just don't look AS great as the ones you could have purchased.
5. Consider wedding photography alternatives
There I said it. Feel free to send me your hate mail. I KNOW weddings are important and we want to capture those perfect moments. You should definitely have a wedding photographer, but… maybe find someone who doesn't do it full-time. Many photography students, aspiring photographers and hobbyists do a wonderful job shooting weddings in their spare time, and charge much less. Maybe there is someone in your family that fits this bill and can make this their wedding gift?
After getting really discouraged about professional photography rates, I began to feel desperate. And desperation led me to posting a Craigslist ad asking for a photographer to shoot our wedding. I was absolutely blown away by the response. I got 15+ responses, several who contacted us with their websites, online portfolios and asking for us to choose them. In the end, chose a PhD student who was looking to make extra money. She met us for coffee, took notes, showed us her work, toured our venue (a two hour roundtrip for her), showed up on time, and got us our pictures within a week. She was AMAZING, and while I'm sure luck had something to do with it, doing our research totally helped us save money.
6. Ditch the guilt
Confidence: the secret key to pulling off a guilt-free budget wedding
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So that may not be strictly a financial/cost saving one but it's still important. This is your wedding, not anybody else's. I don't care if you are the only child or one of six. I don't care what your mother-in-law wants. Make decisions based on what you and your partner want, and don't let anyone else pressure you. You don't like dancing — don't hire a DJ. You don't understand why anyone would want a coaster with your and your partner's initials? Me neither! If you are catching yourself wondering why these things are “a must,” they probably aren't.
Put your money where your mouth is: show us your budget breadown for your wedding under $5k!
Break it down now: sample wedding budgets for all kinds of offbeat weddings
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- Bride's outfit: $200 (dress was remade out of fabric from my mother's wedding dress)
- Groom's outfit: $200 (a new dress shirt, suspenders and a bow tie)
- Flowers/hanging baskets: $250 (some flowers, but mainly reusable hanging baskets that we took home with us)
- Venue rental: $1,000
- Photographer: $900
- Caterer: $1100
- Table/chair rental: $350
- Booze/drinks: $200 (I WAAAAY over-ordered on the champagne. I was drinking champagne for months…)
- Wedding dishes: $50 (we went to St. Vinnies/Goodwill for all our dinnerware — at 10 cents a spoon, it was a cost-effective option, and the mismatched china was fun. After a run through the dishwasher, we re-donated most of them back. Though if you come over for dinner you will see 10 of our favorites!)
- Decor: $300
- Games: Free
- Officiant/musicians: Free (Friends and family made this their gift to us)
- PA System: Purchased for $150, sold two years after our wedding when no longer needed for $60
Total: $4700
How did you keep YOUR budget down? Share your secrets in the comments…
I’m planning a very low-cost wedding as well. It’s not either of our first weddings, so we’re able to rid ourselves of a lot of “it has to be done” guilt. We’re having it at the zoo! While the zoo is open (so, half-price on the venue!) The really only expensive thing is the zoo requires a formal caterer and bartender (it’s really to cover their own behinds. I get it!!), so that’s where the majority of our cost will be. It’s going to be family-friendly. (It’s at the zoo! If kids get restless… they can go look at the zoo animals!!) And exactly right for us: low-key, fun.
Terry- love the idea of the zoo! That sounds like a lot of fun. I wish we all could easily shed the ‘guilt’ and stick with the things we LOVE. Life would be simpler (and less expensive 😉 that way!
My first wedding was filled with “we have to do”s. It’s one of my regrets — I wish I had been stronger back then. Oddly, I don’t regret I married him. He’s a good man, we just weren’t ready, or right, or a lot of other “r” words. 🙂
This time, we’re planning the wedding we want, the way we want. I’m sure my ideas aren’t right for everyone. Just like not every idea is right for me. But I’m looking forward to a fun day with friends, family and the man I love. 🙂
When my sister got married in a small, rural community, there were no rental houses for seating – my mother borrowed chairs from a local funeral home. They didn’t charge for it because they’re part of the community. I made the cake as a gift and the bridesmaids dresses were off-the-rack at a local department store. My sister loves daisies and they were in season which saved on the flowers. The food was ordered from a local deli. Saving elsewhere helped my sister have the dress she really wanted and no one missed anything as they had a lovely ceremony and there was plenty of food, booze, and cake
JXD, that sounds perfect! I dig your ‘recipe’ of food, booze and cake. Other than love, what more can you need?
As an almost-bride-to-be discussing engagement and wedding planning with my almost-fiancé, I am very gratified to find that most of our wishes match this list! It really doesn’t have to be expensive if you cut the crap out. We are aiming to invite 60 people, have only two on each side of the bridal party, use an iPod instead of a DJ, and do at least some self catering, and other small things like that. I’m really excited, your wedding sounds so fun just like I want mine to be 🙂
Stephy-
All your ideas sound great- having had a small wedding, I am a solid convert to keeping it under 100 people- but I know that’s not always feasible so kudos to you guys for sticking to smaller numbers and doing things your way. Hope your day is crazy-stupid-fun!
My biggest cost saver: order pizza! No really, there are some really excellent gourmet pizza places out there where you can get fancy pants pizza delivered to your venue for a fraction of the cost per head of a traditional caterer or even a food truc
Claire-
What a fantastic idea! Who doesn’t love pizza- plus even the more ‘fancy’ gourmet places will often deliver for the fraction of what you would pay a caterer.
I’m working with a $4500 budget so we had to get creative. Pizza for 60 people is going to be about $450, but I’m thinking about asking for a discount since I am ordering in bulk. We found this great place that uses local ingredients, fresh vegetables and surprising combinations (curry pizza anyone?) so it won’t feel like just cheese and pepperoni. With the money we’re saving on the food we can do a dessert buffet and rent a bounce house.
Man, you had me at Curry Pizza! How can I get an invite? ? It never hurts to ask for a discount- especially since it will likely be great marketing for the local pizza place. If you frame it for them that they also get good exposure to a new group of potential customers they may be more likely to pass some savings along for you!
Sent from Surface
Find out prior to purchasing if the store will take back unopened bottles of wine. A friend was able to return hers (at original sell amount) and get that part of her budget back. And it’ll save having to drink champagne for months on end, unless you’re looking forward to the leftovers!
Sharon-
Good thought on returning the unopened bottles. I didn’t even think of that and would totally have saved some additional funds… it was fun though to treat every gathering like a celebration worth opening champagne for! 😉
My biggest piece of advice for sticking to a budget is STOP PLANNING. Once you’re done, be done. Don’t reevaluate your choices, don’t keep looking at pictures of dresses, don’t keep pinning stuff to your wedding board. You know how stores want to keep you inside for as long as possible because they know that the longer you’re in the store, the more you’ll buy? Same thing. If you keep shopping, you’ll keep justifying your purchases. “It’s only $50.” “Why didn’t I think of personalized M&Ms? We definitely need those!” “This is the only wedding we’re going to have, so who cares if we go a little over budget?”
A lot of folks are getting away from the Pinterest phenomenon of wedding plan and with good reason- it leads to feeling like all sorts of ‘additionals’ are needed! My own version of ‘personalized m&m’s’ was a pin that was forwarded to me (a week before my wedding) by a friend. The pin was wedding color themed umbrellas (with ideas to personalize them) for guests so that in case or rain/sun, guests did not need to worry about getting wet… or apparently sunburned, if they forgot their own umbrellas. I remember having this moment of actually considering purchasing them, before realizing how actually unnecessary it was to provide each guest with an umbrella. Sometimes it’s hard not to get sucked in! Thanks for the comment!
We’re setting a $3,000 budget and throughout the planning are actually managing to stick closely to it. We rented a lodge at a local state park for $125. They only allow beer and wine so that actually ended up being a money saver for us over liquor. The men are going to be wearing suits that were on a $99 sale. I hate the look of tuxes anyway. We’re skipping the dance to do games (hello bridal party sand volleyball!) and will use spotify for the ceremony. A local gal we found is doing 200 gourmet cupcakes and a small decorated 8″ cake for $200 total. The one thing I’m concerned about is that we’re self catering a taco bar with the help of family. I think we will be okay though because a lot of it can be made ahead of time or doesn’t require a lot of prep. The other downside to our small budget is that we’re only hiring a photographer for 4 hours and that’s taking 1/3 of our budget. We could have gone with a cheaper photographer for more hours but decided a few great pictures were worth more to us than a bunch of okay ones. I think it’ll also let us enjoy the day more and live in the moment, appreciating things as they happen without the worry of catching the photo. We’re also having a Sunday wedding which has saved us money as well. It might not be a glamorous wedding, but it will reflect us. I’ve accepted the fact that not everyone will like it, but honestly I don’t care.
hey im trying to plan a wedding under that budget which park did rent a lodge from if you dont mind me asking
I am doing a ton of things to save money and are also working with about $5000. I only say about because we have budgeted at $6000 but I am working toward $5k…lol. Here is what we are doing: I am a huge DIYer, and have sewing experience along with contacts with folks who are very talented sewists. I got super lucky to have a friend that is a thrift shop junkie and she found a designer wedding dress in my size ( I’m a plus size ) “bones” ! We are serving a BBq buffet catered by a family friend so got a good rate. The venue is at a state park so we were able to book for 2 days for set up, rehearsal, and wedding day for $575 and that gives us nearly 12 hours each day. We are doing a cupcake and cookie buffet for dessert and a small cutting cake, my step mother, matron and myself are making it all but the cutting cake. I am making bridesmaid dresses, neckties and suspenders, as well as all of the decor excpet for a few pieces that I was gifted for Christmas. Dj is a friend and cheap, as well as the photographer.
I have found that since I interact with people daily in my job and have the opportunity to talk socially with a wide variety of backgrounds. I have mentioned my planning to many and have made contacts there as well. One of my customers has even gifted me a dove release ceremony. I am also not using real flowers which is a huge savings. If you are on this site, you are already thinking outside of the box, go further and exit the room and you will be surprised what you come up with for your unique day!!
I just had a wonderful 100 person wedding and reception for around $4700 as well! Everyone had a great time and the vibe was super relaxed. First off, ditch the wedding party. It puts people in a weird position and is expensive. I am, like others above me, a DIY person and this saved me money and the consumerist waste that a lot of weddings produce. I gathered cool vintage glassware from estate sales (on Sundays, when everything under $50 is half price) and Goodwill and made unique terrariums in them. I made my own soy candles for gifts. I bought my dress off of modcloth.com for only $105, and I found a budding amateur but amazing photographer on Craigslist for cheap! My wedding ring was a hand me down from my mom and my husband bought his on Etsy for only $100. There are a lot of workarounds for weddings and I think the most important thing to remember is… what are you going to do with this crap after the one day that you are going to use it? Reuse, recycle! Go offbeat brides!
A tip that I have is to drop the bridesmaids and groomsmen. They are not a needed and will save you money on goodie bags, doing their hair and makeup, taking them to dinner before the big day and you will not have to purchase their attire. If needed have one best man and one maid of honor and be done with it.
We love that option! http://offbeatwed.com/do-i-need-bridesmaids/
I LOVE this! I planned a 100 person wedding for under $10k. I could have done it cheaper except I live in Orlando and my family lives/we had our wedding in the suburbs of Chicago so I had to keep the DIY to a minimum.
I think the biggest tip that helped us save money is to research like a crazy person to find the best bang for your buck. My best friend researched the cost of the local venues and we settled on the one of the cheaper cost-per-person venues (and still had the fancy country club title!) I found my dress on sale at Davids Bridal for $240. Found our photographer on Groupon, our violinist on Craigslist, bought wedding invite paper from Party City and printed it at home then purchased wedding invite lace pockets from Wish.com, my veil was $3 from Wish, our flowers were bought in bulk from SamsClub.com and placed in dollar store vases on the tables. Our candy bar consisted of clearance Easter candy and our honeymoon was an all-inclusive resort in Cancun for $1000 ( we used our Southwest point to get there). We only chose to serve beer, wine and champagne and two years later we still hear how much fun people had. Looking back, there are a few small things I would change but all in all, I’m really proud of our planning.
Lastly, I read an article that looked at the success of marriage vs the cost of the wedding and they actually found that people who were careful to stay on a budget tend to have longer-lasting marriages! Go us!
I have to see a picture of this $4700 wedding
We had a wedding for around 6k, and we did most of these things. We did still get some help from family, but sticking to our wedding budget allowed us to take the month-long cross-country road trip honeymoon of our dreams!
1. We live pretty far from our families, so most people understood why we kept the guest list to about 30 – just immediate family and closest friends. My in-laws graciously threw us a reception in my husband’s hometown, so his large family did not feel left out. I think only one group got awkwardly left out because they didn’t live close enough to either place, but we weren’t that close and it wasn’t a big deal.
2. I searched AirBnB for places that allowed events. We rented a gorgeous Victorian-inspired house that slept 16 for an entire weekend, Fri. – Sun., so we had our rehearsal dinner at the same place. We also had enough room for our entire wedding party to stay with us (and photographer and officiant, both friends), and even my service dog was allowed. It was an awesome sleepover.
3. We had a typical time – Saturday evening – but no time constraints, which was amazing.
4. We bought all our own alcohol – just beer, a white wine, and a red wine. People who wanted hard liquor could bring their own (a couple of guys brought whiskey). We also served lavender lemonade and iced coffee because those are some of our favorite drinks and they were cheap/easy to make in bulk.
5. I DIY’d a crown for myself and mini crown for my dog/flower girl, and I cut and hemmed a flower girl dress to fit her. I made a chandelier with hanging baskets, fairy lights, and paper doilies. I designed and printed all the signage myself and collected the frames from friends and thrift stores. All our decor was pretty little knickknacks and things related to our interests that we collected at thrift stores/estate sales/antique fairs for a couple of years leading up to the wedding. I kept the majority of them and they now decorate our bookshelves. I didn’t buy matched sets of anything, because I didn’t want to end up with a lot of stuff to get rid of afterwards. I did buy lots of fairy lights, but I have used many of them on projects since.
6. We had a close mutual friend, who happened to be a professional photographer/videographer. We had to insist on paying him because he had never done a wedding before and he was nervous, but I’m totally happy with our choice. I decided early on that I was not invested in taking the time and energy to get fairy-tale-fantasy photos. We don’t live an instagram-perfect life, and all I wanted was an honest document of the day. We got exactly that and as a bonus we got to hang out with our buddy all weekend instead of posing for a stranger.
7. I straight up did not care about guilt. I skipped the extras that were one-time-use only: programs, favors, garter, veil, ring pillow, monogrammed anything, unity symbols (candles/sand/what-have-you). I didn’t really want to do all the ceremonial speeches and formal dances, so we didn’t need a PA system or or DJ. I love and respect other people’s traditions, but for myself I don’t follow any tradition that does not have personal significance for me, so most of the conventional things went out the window. And you know what? It didn’t feel any less like a wedding. It just made the few things I did much more significant. Would my mother have loved a more traditional, old-fashioned wedding? Probably, but when she saw I had ordered the same color roses she had when she married my dad, she cried, because she knew I only did it because it really meant something to me.
It’s been a few years, so these are balls park figures, but here goes:
Bride’s outfit: $300 ($250 custom-made dress ordered online, $50 DIY crown, piña cloth overdress and shawl gifted by family in the Philippines)
Groom’s outfit: $750 ($650 formal kilt in family tartan made in Scotland, matching tie gifted by family, $100 for tailored dress shirt and socks) My husband is very frugal and I love teasing him about how much more expensive his outfit was than mine.
Flowers: $150 ($90 lavender collected from local farms over the summer and dried at home, $60 dozen roses, pine for boutonnieres collected locally for free) Decor: $450 ($150 fairy lights purchased one at time with coupons, $100 in craft supplies, ~$200 in collectibles/knicknacks/etc. averaging less than $10 per piece and spread out over a couple years)
Venue rental: $1600
Photographer: $1000
Caterer: $800
Table/chair rental: $200
Booze/drinks: $250
Dishes: $150 compostable plates and cups
Officiant/music: free (officiant was our mutual friend who first said we should get together; music was a 6-hour Spotify playlist played through Bose speakers, and my brother ran the music during the ceremony)
Wedding party gifts: $300 (about $50 each for 2 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, and our officiant since he didn’t want to be paid)