I got left at the altar: turning heartbreak into artwork
As the day that was supposed to be my wedding day approached, none of us knew what to do, think or feel. I knew that a pity party was the farthest thing from what I wanted or needed. A few people brought up the idea of trashing the dress, and at first it sounded crazy. But after thinking about it, I knew that doing something to mark the occasion was the perfect thing for me. I was not going to let my ex-fiancé’s mistake of letting me go take away my happiness.
It took a camping trip to gain the perspective that saved our wedding
I hear it said that “everyone has pre-wedding jitters” — what ifs and cold feet. But I had a full-on panic. Like, “I woke up crying and told my fiancé that I wanted to cancel the wedding” kind of panic. I came home that same day to a living room full of camping supplies. My fiance said that he had to get me out of here. Too tired to fight it, I allowed myself to be scooped into a car packed with blankets and hot dogs, and driven two hours out into the wilderness. It saved our wedding.
How postponing my wedding saved my marriage
“It’s just one day,” I said to myself nervously. “It’s the marriage after that matters.”
I repeated that like a mantra while I continued with the plans for a day I didn’t want to have, not at that time or in that way. I had made promises, printed invitations, spent the money I was given for the “big day.”
Wouldn’t I be letting everyone down if I cancelled or postponed? I kept my mouth shut while guilt and nerves churned in my stomach.
So I canceled my wedding…
I was nearly there, you know. I’d bought a second hand dress and Irregular Choice shoes. I had booked my venue and I was organising my independent honeymoon to India. I had invited just eight people to my little ceremony. I had made 500 paper cranes for my Senbazuru decoration. I had chosen music and a menu and started to stockpile little bits and pieces for my small but no less special day. And then my relationship ceased to make sense. It was a very hard, very sad time. And I really remember feeling very alone when it all happens — plenty of people talk about divorce, about second marriages, about boyfriend breakups… I couldn’t find other people who had cancelled their wedding. So, without further ado, here is my guide to canceling your offbeat wedding. These are just some of the things I wish I’d heard last year.