Let’s talk about the question that’s been on a lot of people’s minds: will this affect my wedding?
TL;DR: Yes, unless your wedding is in the fall or afterward.
We’ve talked about cancelling your wedding when you decide to break up, but what if tragedy strikes and your fiancé passes away before the wedding?
This is a tragic circumstance that brings far more complexity than simply trying to explain what went wrong. Here are the steps we recommend you take if your partner has died before the wedding took place.
As the day that was supposed to be my wedding day approached, none of us knew what to do, think or feel. I knew that a pity party was the farthest thing from what I wanted or needed. A few people brought up the idea of trashing the dress, and at first it sounded crazy. But after thinking about it, I knew that doing something to mark the occasion was the perfect thing for me. I was not going to let my ex-fiancé’s mistake of letting me go take away my happiness.
I hear it said that “everyone has pre-wedding jitters” — what ifs and cold feet. But I had a full-on panic. Like, “I woke up crying and told my fiancé that I wanted to cancel the wedding” kind of panic. I came home that same day to a living room full of camping supplies. My fiance said that he had to get me out of here. Too tired to fight it, I allowed myself to be scooped into a car packed with blankets and hot dogs, and driven two hours out into the wilderness. It saved our wedding.
“It’s just one day,” I said to myself nervously. “It’s the marriage after that matters.”
I repeated that like a mantra while I continued with the plans for a day I didn’t want to have, not at that time or in that way. I had made promises, printed invitations, spent the money I was given for the “big day.”
Wouldn’t I be letting everyone down if I cancelled or postponed? I kept my mouth shut while guilt and nerves churned in my stomach.
I was nearly there, you know. I’d bought a second hand dress and Irregular Choice shoes. I had booked my venue and I was organising my independent honeymoon to India. I had invited just eight people to my little ceremony. I had made 500 paper cranes for my Senbazuru decoration. I had chosen music and a menu and started to stockpile little bits and pieces for my small but no less special day. And then my relationship ceased to make sense. It was a very hard, very sad time. And I really remember feeling very alone when it all happens — plenty of people talk about divorce, about second marriages, about boyfriend breakups… I couldn’t find other people who had cancelled their wedding. So, without further ado, here is my guide to canceling your offbeat wedding. These are just some of the things I wish I’d heard last year.