Paula & Nicholas’s elegant, gothic, country club wedding

The offbeat bride: Paula, Teacher

Her offbeat partner: Nicholas, Computer Guy

Location & date of wedding: Country Club, Grasonville Md — 7/17/2010

What made our wedding offbeat: I wanted balls to the wall gothic with black everything and a whole hurse troupe. However, after MUCH arguing and compromising, we came to the “elegant gothic country club” agreement. We got so many compliments on it.

We met on a geek website and we made sure to make geeky vows (we didn't want to leave out the geekery that bound us!).

We had red and black as the colors with masks as favors.

A hippie friend of ours played his buckets in true street performer fashion during cocktail hour!

We did sacrifice a lot. For example, the “axe cleaved into a blood dripping” cake changed to a “fairy cake with dripping chocolate ganache” concept.

One thing we would NOT settle for was the groom's hair. It had to be blue, OR ELSE! His hair is always blue and it wasn't changing for this wedding! The groomsmen wore hats that read “True Blue” to go along with their snazzy chuck taylors. (I, the bride, had white ones to match.)

Our wedding just went to prove that you can be a bit different (not the crazy we had originally anticipated) and still stay in the “old people comfort zone!”

Tell us about the ceremony: We didn't want any religious tones in the wedding. We wanted to say cute things to each other and basically showcase to everyone (and each other) how great we were for one another.

The arch was made from twisted willow branches.

We played Nine Inch Nails and The Beatles during the ceremony to incorporate our favorite bands.

Our biggest challenge: As mentioned above, the wedding went from a gloriously creepy Halloween wedding with candy and costumes at Webster Hall (where Edgar Allan Poe was buried) to a wedding that was at a country club with many conservative family members I had never even met before. I did want to make a good impression, but I didn't want to give up what makes us special. We are weird all the other 364 days of the year, why would this day be any different?

My favorite moment:

• Pronouncing our geekdom in our vows.
• Dancing to our songs that I gave the DJ as milestones in our relationship, from Ace of Base to the Deftones!
• The fact that my meek/introverted husband lit up the wedding like a T-rex that shit out a fireball!
• The xbox and cotton candy I got the guys for their VIP lounge. I wanted to give them a little bit of a safe haven!
• Nine Inch Nails is his favorite band and The Beatles are mine. I walked up the aisle to “A Warm Place” by Nine Inch Nails and we skipped merrily down the aisle together to “Come Together” by The Beatles.

My funniest moment: Ten minutes before the wedding, the bridesmaids and I were in the dressing room cursing like sailors. (That is how we get the aggression out!) The photographer said something like, “I've seen a lot of weddings, and never in my life have I ever heard girls angrily cursing right before they are about to make their appearance!”

Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? Everyone enjoyed it! We thought everyone would scoff!

My advice for offbeat brides: If you ever feel pressured by family and fiends to have an “upstanding, normal, traditional wedding,” but you're just a closet dork/freak/nerd/weirdo, FEAR NOT! There's always a middle to meet in and you can still impress. It just takes a lot of time and debate

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!

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