Some folks have concerns about the concept of a “gay wedding” because hey: aren't they just weddings? We get that, of course, but we feature some weddings where couples themselves VERY specifically want to embrace their wedding AND its gayness. So if you're into self-identified Very Very Gay Weddings, this roundup of ideas is for yooooou!
Let's see how you can fully embrace your LGBTQ-ness and rock it in your wedding theme…
Add in same-sex love-inspired readings
Obergefell v. Hodges (the SCOTUS marriage equality case in which the Court held that the right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples under the Constitution) has some AMAZINg lines to pull for your ceremony readings. Give them a look here. Here's one example:
No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.
Here are a few gender-neutral and feminist wedding readings from which to choose as well! Authors include Rainer Maria Rilke, Liz Lochhead, Ani DiFranco, and more.
Make your ceremony more gender-neutral (or your gender-specific)
From hen/stag nights to bride and groom, we've got a primer for more gender neutral ways to address yourselves and others in your wedding crew. These alternatives to hen and stag nights in particular are amazing:
Hens are female chickens, and stags are male deer — any gender-neutral animal name would be a gender-neutral replacement, and animals like fox work well. There’s also the option to use chicken, rooster, or cockerel instead of hen, and deer or doe instead of stag.
Use your wedding to do some good
You could plan for charitable favors, register for philanthropic causes, wear jewelry by small vendors who donate a portion of their proceeds, and more. A few great causes to support would be The Trevor Project, SRLP (Sylvia Rivera Law Project), Ali Forney Center, SAGE Advocacy & Services for LGBT Elders, Black & Pink, and Immigration Equality.
Here are a few how-tos to get you started:
Make your program work for you
One of our funniest and most popular wedding programs has gone same-sex with this awesome version. You'll want to see Jayme and Sondra's version which starts with “So you're going to sit through your first (probably) 2-bride wedding!”
Show your pride with rainbow flag wedding decor
Nothing says you can't totally embrace the rainbow in your decor, food, and outfits! Wear your identity with pride and rock it at your wedding if you want to.
Now, go peruse all 75 pages of our LGBTQ archive of real weddings, advice, and ideas!