I’m Jewish, he’s an atheist: Intermarriage, and what I have to leave behind
I’m the daughter of a rabbi and a cantor (and the stepdaughter of yet another rabbi!), sent to Jewish day school as a child, raised Conservative, and while I’m unsure about my personal beliefs, my identity as a Jew has always and will always be super important to me. Just my luck the love of my life turned out to be an atheist…
Pics or it didn’t happen: Celebration versus validation
Between making sure my makeup is “photo-worthy” to chronicling the planning progress (Offbeat Bride, you are my enabler!), the era of instant documentation and weddings is a match made in heaven. Who doesn’t want an excuse to show off pictures of their wedding day? Now you have a reason to take photos of the knitting project you’ve been toiling over for months. Who doesn’t love to get feedback from others fawning over your dress, décor, music, etc? But when does celebrating a day become validating an event?
Why you should embrace your wedding jealousy
About one-and-a-half years into what is shaping up to be a four-year engagement, my future brother-in law proposed to his then-girlfriend. I love these people very, very much, so naturally, I was filled with excitement, happiness, love, and… jealousy? I was filled with guilt about my reactions. It ate into me, and fighting them caused me hours of anxiety. It got to a point where the positive emotions I did feel were getting blotted out. So, I just gave in to my jealousy. I embraced the emotion and allowed myself to fully experience it…
Male wedding privilege as seen from a transgender groom’s perspective
I have been thinking about the weird privilege I’ve held as the male-presenting person in this relationship. I believe this is because people want to honor my identity and respect my maleness, yet it feels uncomfortable and untrue… because it erases the fact that those images don’t actually fit our queer relationship, and they don’t include my trans-ness.