Category Archive

Philosophizing

How do you feel about your wedding? What does it all mean? How does wedding planning a metaphor for the rest of your life?

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How postponing my wedding saved my marriage

“It’s just one day,” I said to myself nervously. “It’s the marriage after that matters.”

I repeated that like a mantra while I continued with the plans for a day I didn’t want to have, not at that time or in that way. I had made promises, printed invitations, spent the money I was given for the “big day.”

Wouldn’t I be letting everyone down if I cancelled or postponed? I kept my mouth shut while guilt and nerves churned in my stomach.

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How being a bridesmaid taught me to embrace my inner fancy bitch

When I got married two years ago, budget budget budget was the focus of the day. This meant forgoing a big expensive dress, keeping costs low on the honeymoon, having a lunch instead of a dinner wedding. Looking back on my wedding, I have no regrets and didn’t miss wedding planning afterwards. But then I got invited to be a bridesmaid for my little sister. Upon hearing that I could choose my own dress and shoes, something deep deep within me that had been suffocated since my own wedding has reared its head.

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Discarding wedding traditions and getting married on our own terms

With every questionable-twist of the lip, my matrimony-related-decision-making process, comes slightly un-done and I’m left asking myself; if the decisions I’m making about our wedding, which will ultimately be the bunting-draped rocket that launches us into married life, are the right ones for us? I’m talking about the decisions that dictate how much, and what kind of tradition we’ll be incorporating into our marriage. This I know, is the female fiasco that plagues every slightly-inclined-to-call-herself-feminist-thinking bride to ever question the merits of “something blue.”

5 step "WIC-whiplash" recovery: how to calm down when you feel pressured from all sides

5 step “WIC-whiplash” recovery: how to calm down when you feel pressured from all sides

Do you ever feel like you’re getting it from both sides: you’ve got pressure to be more traditional and materialistic on one side, and on the other side, you’ve got pressure to be uniquer, more special-er, authentically truly meaningfully YOU-er. Back! Forth! Back! Forth! I can resist tradition! I don’t want to avoid something just because it’s traditional! I like chair covers! But I can’t like chair covers! Everything we picked is personal! Now it feels like of embarrassing…like it’s over the top and “me me me”!

THIS, my friends, is what one reader coined as WIC-whiplash (WIC-lash?). Together, we’re going to take a deep breath and try to get over it.