Posted by
Offbeat Wed’s publisher, Ariel Meadow Stallings, was recently quoted in a New York Times piece about how many of the “famous” wedding readings people love are… completely made up.
The article, “Famous People Didn’t Actually Say Your Favorite Wedding Quotation,”explores how lines attributed to big names like Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, or Bob Marley often never passed their lips at all. As Ariel pointed out,
These quotations can sound like “something from Pinterest that somebody got from a fortune cookie,” said Ariel Meadow Stallings, the founder of Offbeat Wed, a wedding planning site.
When pressed on why so many of these fakes live on major wedding sites like like the Knot and Zola, Ariel was blunt:
“These wedding websites are not journalism businesses,” Ms. Stallings said.
Ms. Stallings, whose site calls out the so-called Apache blessing as “fakelore,” characterized it as “a 20th-century white man’s fantasy about what Native American people might say.”
Why do so many folks use misattributed quotes at weddings?
So why do couples keep reaching for these misattributed words? Because a quote isn’t just about the words on the page, it’s about the cultural weight behind them. When you say “Albert Einstein once wrote…” you’re not just reading a sentiment, you’re also draping your vows in the authority of Einstein himself. Suddenly, it’s not just your love, it’s science!
Sometimes, the goal is to make the moment feel more meaningful, more exotic, or more intellectual. A couple who values science might reach for Carl Sagan, while poetry lovers lean into Rumi. Even if the words aren’t a perfect match, the author’s name is part of the performance. The speaker is really saying: “This is who we are. This is what we value.”
That’s why misattribution matters. If quoting an “Apache blessing” is meant to convey something about you and your partner’s values, then accuracy is crucial. Otherwise, what does it really say about you? That you grabbed the prettiest words without caring where they came from… or worse, that you’re comfortable co-opting a culture that isn’t yours?
The problem isn’t the words… it’s the false packaging
Here’s the thing: many of these lines are beautiful. The so-called Apache blessing? Gorgeous writing. Pinterest fortune-cookie quotes? Sometimes they slap! But the beauty of the words isn’t the problem… it’s the false packaging that can be a problem.
When we pull a quote out of context, don't do our research, and circulate it endlessly, we lose sight of the real meaning people are searching for: words that honestly reflect their love, their values, their community.
So if you want to choose a quote for your vows or ceremony, ask yourself:
- Do the words themselves actually resonate with your story?
- Is the attribution authentic, or is someone else’s name doing the heavy lifting?
- What does citing this author (or culture, or community) say about you?
If you’re going to use a wedding reading, take the time to really dig into the reading… and ensure that they’re words and an author that genuinely reflect who you are.
Of course if you're looking for a wedding reading, we've got an archive of hundreds. Or if you want the full breakdown of one of the biggest “fakelore” culprits, that “Apache wedding blessing” that wasn’t? We talked all about it over here:
About the Author: Offbeat Weditors
Working tirelessly to bring you stimulating content day after day, the Offbeat Wed editors will not sleep until you've gotten your offbeat fix.
