My mom is the smartest person I know. She has her PhD in genetics, teaches full time, is a CEO of a company, can make anything from scratch without a recipe, and has been happily married to Dad for 38 years. I’ve been collecting her advice because it has helped me stay calm and centered.
I thought it might help some of you…
- “Everybody wants to tell you how to get married and raise your kids. Ignore them, but smile while you’re doing it.”
- “Weddings are never just for the bride and groom. Your wedding will be your first family reunion — of both blood and chosen family and friends. It is a celebration for the village that has raised you both to successful adulthood. We’re proud of you and love you.”
- “You don’t have to do something just because ‘that’s the way it’s done.’ If you do what you want to do sincerely, it will be ‘the way it’s done by you.’”
- “People will always think that a happy bride is beautiful — that’s because all happy brides are beautiful. Don’t try to make yourself into a magazine cover. Just focus on what makes you happy.”
- “Make sure that the people who help you know how much you appreciate their help.”
- “Don’t tell people the details and they won’t give you grief about them.”
- “Nobody will remember if the napkins match or how many bridesmaids you have. People will remember if you take the time to thank them for coming. People will also remember if the cake is good. That’s just as important.”
We all know there’s a lot of bad wedding advice out there — what’s the BEST wedding advice you’ve gotten?
24 responses to “Ignore them, but smile while you’re doing it: the sanest advice you’ll ever hear from a mother-of-the-bride”
Where can I fill out an application to have your mom adopt me??
(That first one is going up on my inspirational quote board today!)
Love this:
“Weddings are never just for the bride and groom. Your wedding will be your first family reunion — of both blood and chosen family and friends. It is a celebration for the village that has raised you both to successful adulthood. We’re proud of you and love you.”
These are GREAT. More posts like this one!!
@LOLBear, you have a very wise mother! 🙂
Your mum is a legend.
Your mom is made of awesome. 🙂 Love this one:
“Don’t tell people the details and they won’t give you grief about them.”
That’s exactly my strategy! 🙂
That was exactly why we had a surprise wedding. If no one knew about it, they could not say anything.
Surprise wedding?as in your guests attended without realising?or you got married, just the two of u?! Sounds like an idea?
I agree with Laura. How do I sign up to be adopted by your mom?
Great advice.
Although I have to say the last one is a bit hit or miss. I don’t remember the cake from my cousins wedding, I do remember another cousin trying to get me to eat jellied eel!
It seems like every little community has their own wedding priorities (my community is music and booze), but almost no one, ever, cares about the napkins. 🙂
I sure hope not, I intend to buy black paper napkins after they clearance them from Halloween. I have a lot more to spend my money on then renting napkins and with my friends and family they would just say “You did WHAT? Rented them? WHY?????” I love my friends and family.
So true. I don’t even remember the napkins at my own wedding!
I dig that cake isn’t something everyone remembers, but cake is very very important to our family.
Food=love.
Mom is making ours. 🙂
Normally cake is important to me too. (And other desserts of course.)
I actually find it strange that I remember so little about my cousins wedding, but for some reason jellied eels stood out!
Agree completely about the napkins though. I doubt anyone remembers napkins.
Your mother and my mother would get along well. Don’t you just LOVE having a mother who is more inspiration than stress-factor?
I must disagree with this one:
“Weddings are never just for the bride and groom. Your wedding will be your first family reunion — of both blood and chosen family and friends. It is a celebration for the village that has raised you both to successful adulthood. We’re proud of you and love you.”
The wedding is indeed just for the bride and the groom… it is for their love, their commitment, their two lives being joined together. Now the reception, that’s the celebration for the village.
This is epic:
“People will always think that a happy bride is beautiful — that’s because all happy brides are beautiful. Don’t try to make yourself into a magazine cover. Just focus on what makes you happy.”
🙂 I really needed to hear that… I think a lot of brides need to hear that.
I really needed this today. I lost my mom to cancer in my senior year of high school. I’m now, not only preparing to graduate college, but to marry my best friend from high school.
It’s wonderful to see that there are families that support the bride and groom, instead of causing drama.
@};-
Oh Montana, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thanks for the kind words, everyone! My Mom IS awesome. 🙂
and so are you, for sharing her awesomeness with us! 🙂 Thanks!
Wow! Your Mum is amazing. Such simple, sage advice, yet so powerful!
Thank you ever so much for sharing this
I must share something my mom wrote to me a couple weeks ago (with three weeks left to go):
It sounds like you have things wonderfully under control. Seriously, if there is some picky detail you have missed, don’t sweat it. No one is likely to notice picky details, unless they are only interested in being picky. Anyone wanting to be picky can face me. They will get a time out, one minute for every year of their age, and a mama-lecture. That should show ‘em!
Hooray for moms!
Love all of these. I’m skipping the details, and the few that I’m not I won’t share with but a handful of people so as not to cause an uproar.
And cake is my priority. I’m using the baker that has the best tasting but not as pretty (who cares I can stick some flowers on it!). My priorities may or may not be fueled by the brides/moms I work with that spend $2k on napkins and fret about every little detail…
Awh! Such lovely advice! And I hope people remember my cake. It will be the last one my fiance’s sister ever makes. And let me tell you, she has a homemade fondant recipe that surprises everyone! Tastes like lucky charm marshmellows!
This is a great mom with wise words…. I do agree with brides doing what makes them happy so if she wants christmas in july then let her have her day!! share the joys because life is too short not too.