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Not being given away: how I skipped the aisle-walking drama
Not being given away: how I skipped the aisle-walking drama
For some women, walking down the aisle with their father (or fathers!) can be a really beautiful way to honor the role that relationship has... Read more
What to do when you have both a father AND a step-dad who you want to walk you down the aisle? Skip the drama and have them BOTH do it, like Keli did:
I have both a dad and a stepdad, so it was decided that they would walk me down the aisle together. When we got to the front, the pastor asked who was giving me away. My stepdad said “He does,” and pointed to my dad, then my dad said “He does too,” and pointed to my stepdad.
Read more about Keli's wedding, and then be sure to check our archive of how to avoid aisle-walking drama.
That sounds lovely! I tried that, but my mother had a heart attack, so I had my brothers walk me down – I have one from each side.
Wonderful adaptation on the who gives her away bit too!
This has been my biggest “drama” worry with my planning. I really want my step dad to do walk me down the aisle because he has no other daughters and he’s been a better father to me when it counts. But my father will throw a conniption (not as amusing sight as you would assume coming from a 65 year old…) either that or no one.
I DO want to change the “giving away” part to: Both families stand, officiant asks my fella’s family if they welcome me into it (hopefully they say yes lol,) then officiant asks the same of my family. That way everyone is involved and no one can get pouty…
Oh I really like the welcoming into family rather than giving away! (I AM staying a member of my family after all!)
I have this same problem, my dad already told me his only request is that both of them don’t walk me down the aisle. I don’t like the idea of being given away because I am no ones property but I do like the idea of asking if the families accept the bride/groom. I still don’t know how to avoid the double dad drama, I am trying to find a way to walk down the aisle unconventionally.
We’ve got a whole post full of ideas:
http://offbeatwed.com/who-should-walk-me-down-the-aisle
This is something that I have been struggling with. I think that it would crush my dad if wasnt able to give me away alone (I am his only daughter), but my stepdad has been an important part of my life for a long time and I know that it would hurt his feelings (or my mom would freakout) if he didnt have a part in the giving away process too. Oh- they aren’t really friends either… thoughts about what to do?
LOTS of ideas here: http://offbeatwed.com/tag/aisle-walking-drama
This is something that I have been stressing about as well, but I recently found out it was for no reason! I sat down with both of my dads and once I made my wishes known ( I also just said that this is the way it was going to be, no ifs, ands or butts), both of my dads agreed that my happiness is what is important and that differences can be put aside for one day. I am the 3rd and baby girl in my family and am truely lucky to have had both of these men as my dads. They even agreed to say “We do” when they give me away! So, hopefully, if other brides have the same issue, maybe they can sit down with their dads, like I did, and have the courage to say how you feel about the situation. Tell them what YOU want and if they aren’t happy about it, that is not your problem.
This is so sweet! I got married earlier this month, I also thought that my Dad might have a problem with my Step-Dad giving me away, so I did something a little different. My Step-Dad played the guitar while my Dad walked me down the aisle. It was incredibly special and moving, and neither felt put out but both were equally involved in getting me down the aisle.
I’m suuuper lucky on this. A few months ago when my dad and fiance met (Dad lives about 7 hours away), my dad was the one who brought up the point: “I really need you to think about this. While I’d be honored to give you away, Ken’s been more a father figure to you than I have and he’s been there for most of your life. If you choose to have him walk you down the aisle, I’ll understand a hundred percent.”
I’m planning the same thing as Keli. My immediate response was this: “Oh… can’t I just have both of you walk me? One on each arm?” My dad was really happy that he was still “chosen” and my stepdad’s ecstatic to be included this way as well.
I’m not having anyone “give me away” (I’m a little feministy for that) but I’m still a big fan of ritual, so I’m excited for this.
Ohhh I love that you all chose the people most special to you to walk you down the aisle 🙂 My dad died when I was 21 so I think I’m gonna ask his dad, my grandad to walk me down the aisle 😉 I love the ‘welcome to the family’ idea – totally nicking that!! 🙂
My sister did this, as our step-dad has been apart of our life for as long as we can remember (we were babies when my mom and step-dad got married). My dad did bitch a little about it but did it in the end. A couple years later, when it was my turn my dad kept bringing it up, and I opted for having my now husband walk with me instead as it seemed more fitting for us and help avoid said drama.