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For the zombie “fans” out there
You know we loves us some "yay!" flags at weddings. Saguarojo took that idea and put her own spin on it. Not only did she... Read more
Family members can get concerned when you say things like, “We're going to have zombies in our wedding vows!”
But here's solid proof that your vows can have zombie wedding vows and still be touching and heartfelt ceremony.
Here are the words recently read by Leslie Light, the friend who officiated over Michelle & Matthew's Halloween wedding:
Dearly loved friends and relations, I have the honor of welcoming you all to this ceremony, in which we will wed Matt and Michelle to each other.
They asked me to say a few words to set the proper mood and tone for their wedding.
I thought for quite some time about what I would say, discarding metaphors and quotes of love, before finally settling on a topic near to their hearts – Today I'm going to say a few words about zombies.
Zombies. The shambling ghouls of black and white Saturday matinees and the quick, ravenous monsters of modern horror are all suffering from the same disease – disconnection – from the world around them and from each other.
And aren't we all there sometimes?
Don't we shuffle to work, monosyllabic, until we get our caffeine, and then go through the motions of work and house as if completely unaware of other people? Don't we set our sights on one desire after another, rushing from experience to experience without actually stopping to enjoy any of it?
Haven't you found yourself staring into space, wishing for just a little more brains?
Matt and Michelle were there too and they've decided to take the only vaccine that works – they've decided to get married. By which I mean they've decided to get connected — unashamedly, unhesitatingly connected — to each other.
In this they refuse to become numb themselves, they promise to give each other attention, consideration, and kindness – emotions zombies most certainly do not share. They refuse to feed on the heart and mind of the other, agreeing instead to grow those things together and share them equally. And they vow not to allow the other to become a zombie when they aren't looking – slipping into apathy, numbness, and a maddening hunger. They do these things with the shotguns of their love strapped strongly to their backs and the truncheons of their humor held firmly in their hands.
Together, they will defend their humanity and their home with all the wit, grace, and power of any spunky heroine or over-sized hero.
Together they are an example of what is possible when two people set their sights on the same star. They cut through our 21st century cynicism and prove that, in fact, zombification is not inevitable — that friendship, love, and desire, when held with both hands, are the only weapons any of us need to stay human.
With the zombies held at bay by their mutual promises, Michelle and Matt are ready to face the other monsters of life – defending against the Frankenstein coworkers, the Soul Vampires of false friends, and the Mummy of age itself.
The adventure they are about to embark on has all the magic of any Hollywood movie and all the terror of true Lovecraftian horror – dread Cthulhu has nothing on balancing family Christmases.
But the truest fact is that as long as they stick together, connected to each other, the zombies of life, real and imagined, apathetic and disastrous, cannot harm them.
That said, let's get married, shall we?
– Written by L.E.H. Light, 2008
Aww. See? So sweet, and yet … so very much undead! Let's hear it for Leslie Light and her wonderfully written ceremony.
*sniff* That was SO sweet and cute and funny. Yay for touching and sentimental Zombie wedding intro! Thanks for posting this…
My boyfriend and I are in the process of planning our wedding, which will be taking place at the Zombie March in Chicago, these wedding vows are perfect! I'm going to steal them and adapt them for ours!
I can’t express how much I love that.
Zombies need to be involved in more weddings.
That is so perfect. Thank you for posting this. It also gave me a totally fabulous idea for our ceremony. We haven’t even begun writing it, and even though I’m a writer the thought was terrifying…but this inspired me to think of something that my FH and I enjoy. It’s not zombies at all (not even close) but lo and behold, it can be worked into a perfect metaphor of marriage! (With some artistic tweaking, of course.) I am no super excited to start working on it.
Thank you, OBB, for all the fabulous ideas and inspiration!
AHHHHH! I love it! My husband and I have vowed to each other that if the other turns into a zombie, we will kill them.
Love it, love it, love it!!! It looks like everyone had so much fun!
Okay, I have to admit, after stalking your blog, I think I have a little crush on every single person involved in your wedding!
@4AbsintheMinded (Amy)
my lady and i have vowed that, too! good to see there are some other folks out there preparing…
😉
That was so awesome.
Okay, I officially have a girl-crush on Leslie Light. Smart, funny, talented writer, zombies, and LOCS?!?!?!? Done.
This is so amazingly awesome you have no idea. Zombies and even a mention of Cthulhu! Ia ia!
The adventure they are about to embark on has all the magic of any Hollywood movie and all the terror of true Lovecraftian horror – dread Cthulhu has nothing on balancing family Christmases.
SO TRUE!!!
This was wonderful. I even sent it my zombie-obsessed fiance, I was so impressed!
What a talented writer! The feeling of what she is trying to express comes through so clearly. Congrats on your wedding and on having such an awesome friend and officiant!
What a great writer! Now that’s a ceremony that’s authentically you.
MY life is now complete… zombies + wedding = happy!!!
Lovecraft & Cthulu!
zombies, humor & love = completely f’kg AWESOME! I am definitely putting this in the keep & share file.
congratulations Matt & Michelle!
go Leslie Light!
This was awesome, love it!
I never thought I would see the day in which zombies were not just briefly mentioned in a public speech, but in a formal ceremony like a wedding!!! That is so amazing!!! Not only was that very creative, but thoughtful, emotional, and completely true. Mad props!!
@RedHeadedStepChild and 4AbsintheMinded
We vowed this at the end of our wedding vows:
” and in the event of an apocalypse, zombie, vampire, human or otherwise, I promise to fight and die by your side.”
— Chelle, that bride in all those pictures up there.
That was amazing. It almost wants me to have an actual wedding ceremony, not running off to a justice of the peace and then having a party. Though I know nothing I come up with would be that awesome.
Congrats on your awesome wedding!
Ms. Light is an incredibly skilled writer! While I’m not exactly zombie-obsessed, I loved every bit of the ceremony she crafted =]
omg! love it! Is it bad that I teared up a little while reading that?
So cute, and so very original. Might I also add how amazing Michelle’s dress is? I mean, my gosh, she looks just stunning!
Fabulous! I laughed and clapped and almost cried! How wonderfully (and tragically) true!
I love how those skeleton’s are put into the decor, so adorable! I love this wedding.
I love this so much. I have a huge obsession with zombies, and this ceremony speech is just perfect. It makes me want to steal it for my very own, but its far too personal for that! wonderful!
Awww, this actually made me tear up!
Okay, but where did Michelle get her DRESS?? It is EXACTLY what I have been searching high and low for!
@ JulieESG– I had my dress made from a design I came up with myself.
I picked the fabric out myself, both the red shot silk and the lace.
Then I took it all over to Laurie Tavan at Daze of Laur and she made both the dress and the corset that went underneath it. http://www.dazeoflaur.com/blog/?p=1135
If you want to talk her into making another dress like that, I’m fine with it. But you’ll have to be in the bay area for fittings.
That dress is KILLER. WANT. Great designing job!
OMG I am seriously jealous!
Hey great wedding.. Im wondering when did this wedding actually take place?? Love the red wedding dress very cool. Everyone looked like they had a great time at this wedding!! Congrats to the couple.
Halloween 2008.
[…] dress & tux? Try adding just a touch of zombie to the details, like your wedding cake or vows {as seen on Offbeat […]
Absolutely brilliant! I award you a gold star.
[…] (mine are pink). I walked down the aisle to "Beautiful Freak" by The Eels. We used the zombie wedding vows featured on Offbeat […]
[…] (mine are pink). I walked down the aisle to “Beautiful Freak” by The Eels. We used the zombie wedding vows featured on Offbeat […]
I have no idea how I will find anything that sums up what I want said at my wedding more than the beautiful and hilarious words of Leslie Light. What a beautiful and amazing wedding! Congrats!
Omigods you just got a standing ovation for Zombies in a weddind ceremony from my fiance!
OMG! That was actually really beautiful! I have tears in my eyes!
Vows that did zombies justice, finally.
A very unique and nerdy touch 😀 Love it.
Fantastic, I’m actually making a little book for my boyfriend called ‘Would you still love me if I was a Zombie?’
and I love how you ended your vows… perfect.
Fabulous! We have friends whose vows were not just for better or worse, but also zombie apocalypse or alien invasion. They’d love this ceremony! 🙂
omg that was beautiful! i start crying when i read it which is a very rare occurrence. my fiance and I are getting married during zombie prom this year in philadelphia and i might have to steal this for our ceremony…my goodness im still crying! lol
hi love this. planning own wedding in October and may steal and adapt to make a reading. Our theme is old school Hollywood movies and love of zombie flicks is one of the few things me and my hubby to be have in common. he doesn’t know it yet but I will be promising to play the hero and have an emergency escape plan should we have a zombie invasion as part of my vows.
That was so hilariously sweet.
this. was. awesome.
I think this is so cool. My man are i are huge into the paranormal world we are doing 2 unity ceremonies in separate countries he live in NY state I in Canada one of them is halloween themed. This was great.I am going to steal a few words so hope you do not mind. Congrats to you both .