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A couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed by a journalist writing for Yahoo Style about Pittsburgh Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams and his zombie-themed wedding photos. Now, the article shares some perspectives that make me a little barfy, most notably this:
“He was like, ‘Well, it doesn’t matter because this isn’t my wedding, it’s her wedding,‘” Dacus told Yahoo Style. “He said, ‘If it was my way, I would have had a zombie wedding.'”
Attention all grooms: actually, your opinion does matter because actually IT IS YOUR WEDDING. You are there, getting married. At your wedding. It is your wedding. I mean, it's nice that a pro football player can afford to do a photo shoot the day after his wedding day so that his interests can be included too… but for those of who don't have a pro-athlete's salary, I hope y'all truly understand that both people getting married should be able to have opinions about the wedding. If dude wanted a zombie wedding, he should have been able to have a zombie wedding.
Whatever: we're not here to debate the gender dynamics of football players and their partners. We are here to talk about the cultural rise and decline of zombie weddings. The journalist asked me several questions about the trend, and y'all KNOW I love talking about cultural trend-watching through the lens of offbeat weddings, so I thought I'd just share the full exchange:
Did the zombie wedding trend begin with The Walking Dead, or were people planning zombie shoots and themed weddings before it was so mainstream?
Nope. The Walking Dead premiered in 2010, and we've seen zombie weddings on Offbeat Bride since well before that, including these zombie wedding vows from 2009.
In terms of offbeat trends, I feel like we're already past what I'd call “Peak Zombie.” We saw a lot of zombie-themed weddings and engagement shoots between 2009-2014, which matches the slope of the Zombie trend nationwide. We definitely see less now, with a shift toward more rustic wedding themes.
Why do you think couples like adding this macabre twist to their celebrations?
It's a playful way to riff on the concept of “'til death do us part” — we've also seen a lot of couples integrating Dia de los Muertos elements into their weddings for similar reasons.
Do you think they ever regret marking the day this way?
No more so than any other wedding trend… realistically, part of what makes weddings fun is looking back and feeling like your wedding was a reflection of the times. The idea of a “timeless” wedding is an impossible goal. Have fun and don't worry about it. Your impeccably tasteful wedding will look silly in a few years, too.
As always, I don't see weddings trends as a bad thing — if you love zombies and are integrating them into your wedding this year because you love them right now, FUCKING AWESOME. If you loved zombies and integrated them into your wedding five years ago because you loved them then, FUCKING AWESOME.
The goal isn't timeless weddings. The goal isn't the most unique special snowflake wedding. The goal is a wedding the reflects the interests of both you and your partner (hear that, DeAngelo Williams?) and the time in which you got married. That's what makes weddings awesome!
My husband cared A LOT about our day. He’d wanted a Halloween wedding since he was a teenager and if he didn’t have any ideas or opinions we would’ve had a problem because I’d never even considered anything about what kind of wedding I wanted. I feel bad for grooms who fall into the “it’s her day trap” and I can’t figure out if they legitimately don’t have ideas or have ideas but feel like they’re not supposed to express them because it’s been jammed into their brains that weddings belong to the brides. Either way, it makes me sad.
Our zombie engagement shoot was because we have always, and will always, love zombies. We even had have a little zombie charm on one of our hand fasting cords!
“Attention all grooms: actually, your opinion does matter because actually IT IS YOUR WEDDING. You are there, getting married. At your wedding. It is your wedding.”
I get that no one else should assume it’s automatically ‘her wedding’, but aren’t couples allowed to choose what’s important to them? If one partner wants to give 100% control over to the other, who are we to say that’s wrong (speaking generally here). I do think it’s important to make sure he’s giving up control because he WANTS to not because society says he does. The opposite is also true–he shouldn’t be pressed to care about things he doesn’t just so you can say he’s included.
” If dude wanted a zombie wedding, he should have been able to have a zombie wedding.”
But what if SHE didn’t want one? I think the better idea is saying that maybe they can compromise. I mean, if my partner said he wanted a Dallas Cowboys themed affair, I’d say absolutely not because I hate them, but we could perhaps do something that made us both happy.
Yeah, my goal here was to suggest that they both have their interests represented. I may have missed the mark, ‘cuz you’re right! I agree completely.
“Attention all grooms: actually, your opinion does matter because actually IT IS YOUR WEDDING. You are there, getting married. At your wedding. It is your wedding.”
PREACH.