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Every once in a while, a couple comes up with a wedding alternative I've just never thought of before. Lo and behold, Dagny and Charlie came up with this super simple twist to a traditional ceremony script:
It was also important to me that our first kiss as a married couple was something that both of us entered into. Traditionally, people say, “You may now kiss the bride.” We opted instead for, “You may now kiss each other.” For many, it seemed like a silly, small thing, but for me it was a big deal.
What an incredibly classy way to subtly let it be known that, yo. We're both initiators in this relationship. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Oh man, I’ve wanted to use this wording since I heard it on an episode of The Simpsons (“A Millhouse Divided” – one of the times Homer and Marge get re-married). Go Dagny and Charlie!!
yup, i’ve been working on our ceremony and we are doing this too!
That’s really cool! We opted for nothing. The officiant will “present us” and then we’ll kiss. (In our ceremony script it says “… without permission because we are freaking adults!” lol) I just thought we kiss all the time without anyone telling us it’s ok, why do I suddenly need permission?
I like your version too! I can also see the permission thing as an acknowlegement of the pacing of the ceremony and the fact that the ceremony is officiated by somebody. So, it’s be less: you need permission to kiss, and more: now is the time for the kiss in this ceremony (= I’m finished with you know, so you can stop paying attention and make out). Though, historically it probably IS more about how it’s ok now that you’re married.
I love this! I’ll probably use it in our wedding script; I’ve always disliked “you may now kiss the bride” for the reasons stated above.
We are getting married on Sunday, and are using some similar wording, though ours says something to the effect of, “You may now gross everyone out and share your first spousal snog.”
ALSO instead of, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” we are saying (courtesy of my awesome fiance!), “I now pronounce you partners in life,” which has the exact same rhythmic cadence, without any gendered language. Even though we are a heterosexual couple, in that we are a female/male pair, I am not super comfortable with with a lot of gendered language, especially that related to marriage or honorifics. So we decided to eliminate any and all gendered language from our ceremony. 🙂
Love this! I may use this idea. I’m thrilled to be married, but I’m squicky about being a “wife.”
We had a book/nerd theme wedding and my brother who officiated the wedding used “You may now kiss your co-author.” I loved our ceremony, all of which was a surprise until the ceremony.
I’m occasionally officiate weddings and I like to say, “you may now kiss your beloved.”
We went with, “Hey, you’re married! Kiss each other and stuff!” I am not a fan of a third-party giving someone (even someone of my choosing) permission to kiss me, as if it isn’t up to me! Our entire ceremony was lighthearted and silly (like us) so we wanted to continue that feeling through till the end.
Many couples share your disdain for this all-too-traditional turn of phrase.
This is a cute one, a nod to all of the very old guests you might have:
“You may now legally kiss your bride!”
One of my favorites:
“Now please exchange your first kiss and husband and wife!”
I’m a marriage officiant and usually say, “please seal your vows with a kiss!” I’ve only had one couple actually ask for a more traditional phrase.
Yes, I love this! We ended our ceremony with, “I now pronounce you partners for life. You may now seal your union with a kiss!”
I actually brought this up with our UCC pastor, who is officiating, and she said that she already uses a neutral phrase- she talks about how marriage is a covenant, and then invites the couple to seal this covenant with a kiss. I love United Church of Christ! (If you haven’t heard of them, they’re the most liberal Christian church I’ve ever heard of. They have gender-neutral bathrooms! They wrote amicus briefs to the Surpeme Court in support of same-sex marriage! They totally rock. 🙂 )