Discarding wedding traditions and getting married on our own terms
With every questionable-twist of the lip, my matrimony-related-decision-making process, comes slightly un-done and I’m left asking myself; if the decisions I’m making about our wedding, which will ultimately be the bunting-draped rocket that launches us into married life, are the right ones for us? I’m talking about the decisions that dictate how much, and what kind of tradition we’ll be incorporating into our marriage. This I know, is the female fiasco that plagues every slightly-inclined-to-call-herself-feminist-thinking bride to ever question the merits of “something blue.”
Tough conversations about marriage: why an online prenup is a good start
Recently, an old friend of mine decided to have a non-legal commitment ceremony… a commitzvah, they called it. For various reasons, she and her dude decided they didn’t want to legally get married, but you know what they did instead? They sat down with a lawyer, and had some really, really difficult conversations and worked out a legally-binding commitment agreement. Conversations about money. Conversations about children and aging parents. Conversations about fidelity and divorce. Realistically, because they opted to build their legally-binding commitment from scratch, they had conversations that many of us planning state-recognized marriages don’t have.
When your culture is counter-culture: Lovingly explaining your more traditional wedding choices
Offbeat Bride has some wonderful, “Thank you for your interest but I’ve already decided” conflict resolution posts that apply to pretty much anything. But here are some specific scenarios if you, like me, find yourself a little bit too onbeat for others’ likings.
My Nigerian engagement ceremony bridentity crisis
I’m generally of the belief that your wedding is not always about you, but it should reflect you: your beliefs, your values, and your community. But how could I feel good about a ceremony where I didn’t feel like myself and nothing else felt like me either? In the end, it was really been a two-step process…