OPEN THREAD: Is keeping my ex-husband’s last name disrespectful to my fiance?
I feel greatly conflicted. At this stage in my life, I resent the burden of having to change my name (again) when men have the privilege of bypassing this antiquated and gendered tradition. As a woman, why must this “choice” be thrust upon me and why must I face judgment from others? How do I respond to others who feel that retaining my current last name is disrespectful to my fiance?
Kari & Rich’s handmade steampunk winter wedding
This cosplay pair met as pirates and wed as steampunks. The groom nearly didn’t make the ceremony, but his mad heel clicking in top hat and tails made up for it.
Beth & Jay’s sunflower, kid-friendly, 40-something wedding
When asked what made her wedding offbeat, Beth said, “What, being gray and bald isn’t offbeat enough in our pretty young bride magazine world?” I say that anyone who rocks who they are and where they’re at in their life at their wedding (or in general) is just plain awesome. Beth and Jay did, in fact, rock their kid-friendly, 40-something second wedding. It included a traditional service featuring Beth’s kids as the wedding party, sunflowers, and lots of DIY details.
Marriage as an act of freedom vs. conformity
Anyone who has taken a Gender Studies class knows all the standard stuff about marriage being an exchange of chattel, property, protecting the paternity of babies, etc. We can see how these historical dynamics still affect us.