I’m not marrying my soulmate – and it’s likely you aren’t either
The concept of soulmates is dangerous. A soulmate is a static abstract theory, but humans are ever-changing. How can your partner ever measure up to an abstract ideal? I have no idea if Hyatt is my soulmate. It’s irrelevant to me. Because for those who are agonizing over whether someone is their “soulmate,” they would do better to wonder, “Am I willing to put up with this person’s unique set of problems?” And I know this is not the message that most people want to hear.
Transitioning our relationship into a marriage with pre-marital counseling
When my fiancée and I got engaged one of the first things we agreed on was that we wanted to go to pre-marital therapy. I finally made our first counseling appointment for next week. Somehow, this step makes the engagement feel more real than almost anything else in the planning process.
Who the hell cares: important lessons from partners who aren’t as interested in wedding planning
One detail that’s been plaguing me ever since I bought my dress has been figuring out what I’m going to do with the length. So I go back and forth, back and forth, on this decision. The past six weeks or so, I was gung-ho about getting it shortened. Then, one night, I was telling my partner about how I was once again reconsidering. While I listed out the pros and cons of leaving my dress full-length, I could see his eyes begin to glaze over. “Mm-hmm,” he said as I talked, stifling a yawn. Which was when I realized: Who the hell cares?
Tough conversations about marriage: why an online prenup is a good start
Recently, an old friend of mine decided to have a non-legal commitment ceremony… a commitzvah, they called it. For various reasons, she and her dude decided they didn’t want to legally get married, but you know what they did instead? They sat down with a lawyer, and had some really, really difficult conversations and worked out a legally-binding commitment agreement. Conversations about money. Conversations about children and aging parents. Conversations about fidelity and divorce. Realistically, because they opted to build their legally-binding commitment from scratch, they had conversations that many of us planning state-recognized marriages don’t have.