Othering: the ways offbeat types push ourselves away
Over the years, I’ve seen something come up time and time again from Offbeat Bride readers: people will send an email, post on the Tribe, or leave a comment that basically amounts to, “Do I REALLY count as an Offbeat Bride? Do I really belong here?” I think of it as the Offbeat Bride’s version of othering: this way those of us who’ve defined ourselves as non-normative have of pushing ourselves away from other people. The push makes sense, of course — if you live in a region where your politics aren’t aligned with those around you, of course you’re going to feel a push, and like you need to clearly define yourself as “not that.” There are a lot of social and cultural contexts where it makes perfect sense that people who feel a little bit off the beaten path would push against the people and society around them. What makes less sense to me is when I see us push against each other…
Wedding trend overthinking: Everyone else is doing it!
I started searching online and found all these great ideas: mercury glass candle holders, stacks of books for centerpieces, stationary with those cool old brackets on it, lanterns, library card escort cards — and ran with it. I was so happy that we were doing things that felt like us and not just the same old cookie-cutter wedding stuff that we had seen throughout our twenties. It felt amazing. Until we realized that everyone else was doing it, too.
Oh Noes, I Think My Wedding Will Be Normal!
You may think I’m crazy since our wedding was actually pretty darn offbeat and unique. But it didn’t really feel that offbeat, and I was wondering if I should be concerned. I saw all these seriously amazing weddings on Offbeat Bride and the Tribe and I wanted to be among that crowd. Then I realized that the fact that it felt normal was awesome. It actually meant we were doing it right.
On being a special snowflake in a community full of them
Almost every wedding idea I have, someone else here has had before me, and someone else will have it again after me. So how to be a Special Snowflake in a drift of other Special Snowflakes? I’m not entirely sure yet. But here are a few things I AM sure of…