My relationship is not a statement: Stop viewing our wedding decisions as some sort of socio-political performance
It started with the oh-so-popular taking of my husband’s last name question. The reason I really wanted to keep my own name had nothing to do with feminist ideals — I simply like the sound of my own name. Needless to say, this was just the first of MANY questions I’ve answered with similar responses.I’ve learned that no matter how I respond, someone will view it as a statement. All we’re really trying to do is throw a beautiful and fun wedding with all of our friends and family. Our relationship is a relationship… not a statement open for critique.
Monogrammed wedding napkins as couple re-branding
Largely because I grew up in the south, I feel almost as much like it’s as expected of me to have monogrammed, or personalized napkins as it is for me to change my names. I’m doing neither. Besides, what’s the deal with monogrammed stuff and newlywed folks, anyway? Then I realized… it’s all re-branding!
How early is too early: When can you start using your married name?
My surname now is ridiculously common. Googling me is a waste of time. There are zillions of us. After I get married, though, my last name is going to much more unusual. My school will be taking away my email address, and I’m going to sign up for a gmail account — can I put my new surname on it and start using it, or do I update everyone’s info again in six months after my wedding? What something I’ve submitted for publication gets accepted? Can I put my new name on that? How about my website?
How do you get someone to stop addressing things to your non-existent married name?
My husband and I have been married for six years now and most of the family is fully aware of the fact that I kept my last name — actually, I’m sure my in-laws are well aware of this. But my mother-in-law keeps addressing mail and checks to me as if I had changed my name.
How do I address this issue in hopes of getting her to quit without being confrontational?