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insecurity

16748638804 4b1849b057 c alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

The unexpected benefits of “getting legalled” before our wedding

The impetus behind our legalling came upon us quite unexpectedly: I became aware of a scholarship available to military spouses. The catch: I wouldn’t become a military spouse until my after the deadline to apply for the scholarship had passed. So we got legalled. As expected, having the ability to now apply for this scholarship is a wonderful thing. But something completely unexpected happened through this experience that I did not anticipate.

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Dear Bridal Industry, we need to talk about “looking pretty” on our wedding day

Dear Bridal Industry, I will not allow myself to become caught up in your ideals of what a bride “should” look like. I will not become sucked into your standards of beauty, ones that are different from my own. I will not let you dictate to me what pretty is, and isn’t.

Speaking of which, here are more things I refuse to do…

thebarn alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

My barn wedding is not a unique and special snowflake… and that’s okay!

I fancy myself an individual. I mean, I reckon we all do. And while no one has been shaped by the same life events I have, the concept of truly being “unique” is one that we rest a lot of importance on. I always figured I wouldn’t have a “typical” wedding. I’m a modest, geeky, tomboy of a girl, and I felt a good guideline for planning a wedding would be incorporating things that make me happy. I didn’t know jack about weddings when I started out planning for all this. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the things that make me happy also make other people happy.

Original photo by Cheriejoyful alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Othering: the ways offbeat types push ourselves away

Over the years, I’ve seen something come up time and time again from Offbeat Bride readers: people will send an email, post on the Tribe, or leave a comment that basically amounts to, “Do I REALLY count as an Offbeat Bride? Do I really belong here?” I think of it as the Offbeat Bride’s version of othering: this way those of us who’ve defined ourselves as non-normative have of pushing ourselves away from other people. The push makes sense, of course — if you live in a region where your politics aren’t aligned with those around you, of course you’re going to feel a push, and like you need to clearly define yourself as “not that.” There are a lot of social and cultural contexts where it makes perfect sense that people who feel a little bit off the beaten path would push against the people and society around them. What makes less sense to me is when I see us push against each other…

5860267081 5c52e21946 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Oh Noes, I Think My Wedding Will Be Normal!

You may think I’m crazy since our wedding was actually pretty darn offbeat and unique. But it didn’t really feel that offbeat, and I was wondering if I should be concerned. I saw all these seriously amazing weddings on Offbeat Bride and the Tribe and I wanted to be among that crowd. Then I realized that the fact that it felt normal was awesome. It actually meant we were doing it right.

IMG 7476 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

“We want X, Y, and Z at our wedding. Is that bad?”

Laura Guerrie is a kick-ass wedding planner, former Offbeat Bride, and friend of the Empire. Now she’s here to drop a little wedding planner knowledge on all you out there who find themselves wondering if the things you want to do/have/spend money on are “bad.” Hint: it’s not bad, but don’t discount that feeling! Here’s why