Bride spins out of control selecting Save the Date photos
So, I’m getting married. Like, picked a date. Like, getting magazines delivered monthly to my door, reserving room blocks, and picking out “my colors.” And, although the semi-addicted online shopper in me enjoys parts of this exploration, it does become a glitter and bubbles-filled tornado after awhile. And I was spinning out of control.
A butch bridentity crisis: pretending I don’t care
I am butch. I have short hair and don’t wear bling, or dresses, or sexy underwear, and love button-downs, and am a martial artist… I occupy “masculine” on the public radar. I am very excited for the wedding. but at the end of the day I am damn excited to put on fancy clothes and say nice things to my gentleman and eat awesome food and have our parents meet each other and get my relationship validated by our families. So, why am I so determined to pretend I don’t care?
Is this bridal enough?: The great WHITE lie
I am feeling the pressure to “give in” to a gown in the white family, like ivory or eggshell. Few people are immediately dismissive of a non-white dress, but over time they begin saying things like, “How will we know who the bride is?” and, “You will look like you’re going to prom!” and everything in between. It’s started to seep into the more doubtful and anxious parts of me and I start to wonder — “is this BRIDAL enough?”
“It’s your day” as a myth, in the anthropological sense
As an anthropologist, Shrubby observes patterns of behavior for a living. So, of course she couldn’t help herself from using this finely-honed skill as she explores the wilds of wedding culture. In this guest post, Shrubby breaks down the idea of the “it’s your day” mythology and its implications and uses during wedding planning.