Val & Krys’ Americana-style blues party

The Offbeat Bride: Val

Her offbeat partner: Krys, VP Development and Communications

Date and location of wedding: Historic community center in Potrero Hill Neighborhood of San Francisco, CA — October 10, 2013

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: A month after our engagement, we spent a weekend at our favorite bed & breakfast deciding when, what, and how we wanted this big party was going to be. Because at the end of the day, that's what we decided we wanted most: an awesome party with all our favorite peeps, great food, awesome music, and an open bar.

Since we both work for nonprofits (and tend towards the obsessive), we developed our wedding mission statement: we wanted it to be casual, fun, and inclusive. Friends and family teased us for having a mission statement, ridiculous Excel spreadsheets, and many details, but at the end of the day, we were able to have the wedding that we wanted. I credit that to a few things: lots of lists and creative problem solving, scouring the web (thank goodness for Offbeat Bride!), and always remembering our mission. We also credit the unbelievable and amazing support of our community. So many folks helped in so many ways and we were just blown away by the love. People donated time, skills, and labor, and they did so freely, without us asking.

Tell us about the ceremony:
This was the hardest part for us. We were more focused on the logistics and hosting aspect of this great big gay party and were writing our vows last-minute. But in the end, we decided to create a similar vow template for each of us so that they wouldn't sound totally unrelated when we read them. We wrote them privately, and both had a little bit of humor and a lot of heartfelt sentiment.

I'm actually a bit shy, and getting married on the stage had really stressed me out. Having Krys' friend, a hilarious drag king, officiate really helped. He set the mood beforehand which helped relieve the tension for me and kept everyone laughing.

What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
Figure out early on what you and your partner want. We used a 1-5 scale of importance for each priority. For instance, having an open bar with good mixed drinks was a high 5 on the scale for me, while having a Barry Manilow song in the mix was a 5 for Krys. But the lower numbers were negotiable and that really helped us understand each other.

My favorite moment:
My mom organized a wedding quilt for us. Instead of friends signing cards, they signed fabric squares. Both my mom and I are enthusiastic sewers, so this really meant a lot to me. We even sent squares to folks who couldn't come! It's going to make the most bomb quilt ever when it's completed.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

• Val's shoes: Fluevog
• Krys' suit: Ben Sherman
• Catering: Sneaky's BBQ
• Blues band: Bobbi Webb
• Photography: Julie Michelle Sparenberg

Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!

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