This is the story of the most empowering moment of my life
Ok, I'm only 27, so I'm hoping to have a lot more empowering moments but, man, proposing to my introverted boyfriend was incredibly awesome.
The best thing is that I did not expect it to feel this way… and I definitely did NOT expect his reaction!
The first time I thought about proposing to my boyfriend
The first time I thought about proposing to my boyfriend was when my BFF told me so, because it was something that I would totally do. But at the time I thought that I should leave that step to him, when he was ready.
The thought actually never left my mind, and when my American sister (I call her that because we did a language exchange as teenagers and it's way shorter) proposed to her boyfriend, I was completely inspired. I guess I needed some kind of push, because at that moment I decided that I was going to propose. But I had no clue whatsoever about how, when, etc.
Why I didn't propose with a ring or in public
One thing I was sure about is that I would NOT give him a ring. He doesn't ever wear any jewelry, so it wouldn't make sense at all. After thinking and rethinking for a few months, I had the answer: an electric guitar. He had spent some time looking at some Fender Telecasters but never took the step to buy one, so I did It for him (with a little help of my musician friend) and got him the Fender Telecaster American Elite in butterscotch blonde — a real beauty.
Funny thing, the guitar came way faster than expected and some friends were coming to visit and would use the sofa bed where I was hiding it (it's not easy to hide a guitar with the case and everything), so I had to prepare the proposal in a blink of an eye. Because we get off work at the same time, I had to leave early a couple of days in order to get everything ready.
I didn't want things too complicated: my plan was to create an intimate moment. My boyfriend is very introverted so it wouldn't have made sense to be around people, like being in the middle of a mall or park. (We're anti-clichés).
So how did it go?
I wrote some cards with the history of our relationship, inside jokes, anecdotes and a couple pictures, hung them from the ceiling in the corridor leading to the bedroom. A card on the bed saying “pull me” to discover the guitar under the covers, another one on the guitar saying “turn me over”, and in the back I wrote “Marry me?”.
He flipped. He did truly really flip. First when he saw the guitar, second when he turned it over. I was hiding in the bathroom all along. I heard “What the f***” and came out to his arms.
Him: Is it now when I say yes?
Me: Yes!
Him: YES! YES! YES!
Prior to this moment, we had a few conversations about marriage and kids and so on. My boyfriend was always more inclined to talk about having family than getting married, so I had no idea how he would react to the proposal. I told him that I was over the moon because I was afraid that he wouldn't be up for it or excited… or, I don't know, all those things that come through your mind in this kind of situation.
But all my doubts went away when he said: “I would marry you tomorrow if I could”.
Oh my god, this melted my heart.
Needless to say, I was crying the whole time.
All the nerves before and the happiness of how it turned out, made me feel like floating. All those months of planning happened in just 2 days, but it went so well in the end, I couldn't believe that it was happening. Seeing him with such joy and excitement saying all those romantic things, being at the opposite perspective of what it normally is, I never thought that I would feel so fulfilled, proud for taking the step, empowered because it felt right, it felt like I was always supposed to do this.
A lot of people were kind of traumatized for the fact that I was the one proposing. I didn't give a flying fuck. We are on the same page and that is what matters.
My boyfriend's mother told me that she was glad I did it, because she didn't see him proposing any time soon. I laughed a lot because… she was completely right. As an introvert, it's just not his style.
So: If you're a woman thinking about proposing, I hope I gave you enough reasons to do it!
Awww, congratulations!
I proposed to mine too, very casual at home. My story is the first that pops up as ”related post” on this page, at least for me right now!
We definitely need more women to propose. Not all men feel confident enough for it, even though you’ve discussed things beforehand, and all you need is to make it official. Hell, I thought it was scary AF and could barely get a word out!
Oh my heart! I’m welling up! I love this, it sounds so perfect and the fact that he said he’d marry you tomorrow! <3 <3 <3
Congratulations!!! This is beautiful, I absolutely LOVE seeing more couples go their own way with what is a deeply personal commitment, not being constricted by ‘man go on knee, give ring, go church, take his name’ just doing things the right way for YOU. And as an introverted man I can tell you that I adore this whole story. Wishing you both all the best!
Yah it’s about two people, not two pre-specified roles. I knew my fiance would like to be the person to pop the question, but in the time period where “saying I love you” was gonna happen, I decided to be the first. I mean, because I knew, but also because I knew that he felt the same way and was just nervous about it or being rejected. He said it really took a load off his shoulders and he told me a week later.
I proposed to my partner also! We’d been together for 11 years and it just was comfortable. We’d talked about it for the future but it just wasn’t something the seemed like they would ever do on their own. So finally, I decided to do it myself and I proposed on Christmas day while we were together just opening presents on our own. It was so nice!!