Pizza, puppies & popping the question(s): How we honored our individuality through a mutual proposal

My now fiancé and I soon realized after we started dating that we take pride in having an equal partnership. So, when the time came to take the next step in our relationship, we were stumped. How can we be true to ourselves and to our relationship in what will be one of the most important decisions of our lives? It just didn’t feel right if only one of us asked the other. The decision, like everything else in our relationship, needed to be mutual. In order to be truly representative of our relationship, we turned to the Internet.

Together, we researched and came across a few different articles about mutual proposals. Mutual proposals — a newish concept, are exactly how they sound — proposing to one another. We decided to morph a few of the ideas we saw online and had the best day ever…

To kick off the planning process, we chose a day that would be THE DAY. We picked a day where neither of us had other plans or commitments, a day that we could be fully present. We split this day up so that we could both plan surprises and gifts for one another. We also wanted to commemorate the day for years to come so we hired a professional photographer to capture the moments.

On that day, we woke up early, ate breakfast together (like we always do), and got ready for an exciting adventure ahead. First, we exchanged our promises to one another and asked each other the ultimate question: Will you share your deep-dish pizza with me for the rest of our lives? Not so shockingly, we both said yes!

Then came the gifts…

He presented me with an exquisite ring that we had designed together — two parallel bands representing us on our journey together. I presented him with a personalized wooden watch, with a phrase etched out on the inside, telling him how much I love him.

Following the gifts, we made our way over to Theodore Roosevelt Island where we snuggled with one another and our puppy, Yofi. One of the surprises I had planned for him was that Yofi, too, was in on the proposal! As I held her up to my guy, she donned a custom-made tag, inquiring, “Marry me?” How could you say no to that face?

Next was his turn. He planned an elaborate scavenger hunt all over D.C. and Arlington! His clues took us to places we had gone on dates, where we used to live, and other places very sentimental to us. After each clue was a gift: these gifts made up charms that displayed the different aspects of our relationship and how we fit together in each other’s lives.

To end the best day ever, we celebrated with family at our favorite restaurant — the place we go to celebrate special moments in our lives. And, that day, we couldn’t imagine going anywhere else.

We hope that other couples in similar shoes as ours are inspired to try something a bit different than the norm. There are other ways of doing things that might be more appropriate to and representative of your own relationships. In this way, we were able to honor ourselves both as individuals and as a progressive and egalitarian couple.