We have quite a lot of kids coming to our wedding, of all ages! Thanks to Offbeat Bride and Etsy I fell in love with the idea of custom activity books for them. But, checking out the other books, I immediately thought, how can I make these books even more inclusive?
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I wanted a book that was:
- not hetero-normative
- not Western-normative (ie. uses names that aren't just John and Bob and doesn't exoticize the weddings of other cultures, but rather embraces that weddings are about ever-changing traditions)
- not Western-wedding-normative (ie. doesn't assume a bridal party or a three-tiered cake)
Basically, I needed the children's activity book equivalent of the “Greendale Human Being!”
For example, I found a logic problem where seemingly white boys had crushes on white girls, but I re-wrote the entire thing to include not only a variety of names, but boys having crush on boys as well. I also thought of writing a story but got sucked into a swirling black hole of my mind asking “how do I write a story that doesn't promote marriage, but isn't against marriage?” Like one where some gender-non-conforming animals end up in polygamous marriages, but some stay single, and some get divorced later happily, and some stay married by choice… you get the picture. (Note: the activity book is still fairly cis-gendered).
If you're still reading, you are probably shaking your head at me in disbelief or nodding enthusiastically. If you're one of the ones nodding enthusiastically, I thought I'd share my files, so you can adopt it for your own wedding…
- First, download the powerpoint of the activity book in order AND the powerpoint of the activity book for printing.
- Download the fonts “Rock Salt” and “Coming Soon” from Google Fonts.
- Second, customize it for you and your partner.
- Download mazes for the letters of your first names.
- Make your own crossword puzzle
- Make your own word search
- Change the mad libs to fit your meeting story!
- Print the file powerpoint for printing, double-sided, on legal size paper
- Fold them, and, for an added touch, bind them together using coloured embroidery thread. (I used the method shown here to sew the booklet together)
I gave them out with little party packs of crayons for kids and adulty-kids to both enjoy!
I have two differing feelings about this. The first one was “that sounds fun & cool, hand me some crayons, too!” The second one, after reading “not Western-wedding-normative” was “Oh. Um, what if you’re having a Western wedding or you like Western wedding traditions ?” It sort of felt like “Weddings from other places / cultures are offbeat / interesting / cool, but Western weddings are uncool / boring / not offbeat.” Kind of like the whole “my wedding is more green friendly than your’s” issue that used to float around the wedding world for a while. I realize that was not the author’s intention, it’s just how it came across to my ears.
I made this book and I hear you! But I’m not saying there are NOT things that are Western and hetero normative (after all I am having a straight wedding!) but the point is that being a minority wedding is incredibly tough. There are a billion options if you want something for a Western wedding! I can give you links. But where are the options if you don’t? Or even if you are having a Western wedding yourself it doesn’t mean you necessarily don’t want to celebrate all the options.. for example, I am having a straight wedding but it doesn’t mean I want an activity book with all straight couples, I still want kids to be exposed to the options! It’s like including women in a TV show.. it doesn’t mean you’re against men! It means your pro everyone!
And it’s funny that it came off as non-Western weddings are cool because that’s actually the thing that I’ve been HATING. I literally got stopped in OfficeMax the other day by a woman asking me if I was going to have “one of those Bollywood weddings.” So I wasn’t trying to be anti anything, I was trying to be pro everything.
Chalk it up to bad writing if it came off that way.
This is super great! Thank you for sharing it!
Why would you give Arthur and D.W. different names in your coloring book? Those are actual cartoon characters on PBS with names.
Those are the Author / her partner’s names. – She wasn’t giving the characters different names, she was saying “This happens in our house”.
Yes exactly 🙂
I’m a younger sister to a brother, and my partner is an older brother to a younger sister – so we’re like Arthur and DW! Who are my favorite cartoon characters and everyone who knows me knows it 🙂
I think this book rocks. I think you rock.
I don’t think this comes off as anything other than awesome, inclusive, fun, and funny. 🙂 Well done 🙂
Thank you!!!! They ended up being the biggest hit at our wedding! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this! My fiancé is Hawaiian and our wedding will be in Hawaii. My fiancé does research in areas of cultural sensitivity and this book will be a perfect addition to our wedding. It is a Hawaiian custom to include children at big events… we had one couple respond with 13! They are bringing their children AND grandchildren. Mahalo (thank you) again for sharing!
This is so terrific!
Thanks! Which links are you unable to access? And what’s happening when you click them? It’s working for me.
Hi Shubha, the google drive links to your powerpoints no longer work, is there anyway possible to repost them? Thank you! 🙂
Hi, this activity book looks awesome, but I can’t seem to get the links to work! It keeps sending me to an error page saying the file doesn’t exist. 🙁