Fear and loathing and wedding planning: working through your shit during the engagement
The engagement period, the period between “Yes” and “I do,” is transitory — a life-changing transition. We spend a lot of time focusing on the actual day. It is, after all, supposed to be the “best day of your life.” There are magazines, websites, and blogs dedicated to this monumental moment, but few people talk about the importance of simply being engaged. Marrying another person is a big deal. A lot comes with that commitment.
Here are my lessons learned…
Why I’m keeping my wedding photos to myself (& off social media!)
Inviting people to your wedding who take blurry camera phone pictures of your first dance and your cake cutting and then put them on Facebook is the first lesson in wedding humility, letting your vanity go in cringe-inducing waves of overly indulgent boob shots and bad camera angles. The thing is, though, that I don’t owe my social media community anything more than that. After all, I am just a normal, average person. Our most extraordinary day was a mere blip on my newsfeed map, but for me, it was so much more than that; it was the start to a lifelong journey of which I can only hope to be nothing but happiness.
Why two independent, liberal feminists chose the flawed institution of marriage
I never wanted to get married. Marriage’s past is smattered with values we reject. But marriage also has a future, with opportunity for change. Is this an institution with of we want to be a part? What inspired two young, marriage-shy independents to happily enter into an engagement?
Why it’s totally okay to plan a wedding your way… even when you’re told otherwise
When I asked Brian to marry me, tranquil and quiet energy swirled around us. In all the perfection that this was for us, I didn’t expect the whirlwind that would come — the questions, assumptions, unsolicited advice, and all the “good things” that go along with an engagement in two large and loving families. Our quiet serenity on that beach on Toronto island slipped away from me so fast, I went looking for it in all the wrong places.